Dear Prudence,
My fiancé and I are getting married this month. Everything is already booked, and we’re expecting lots of family and friends will attend. My beloved grandmother is very ill in hospice care and will likely die quite soon—possibly on or just before our wedding day. I’d like to be able to continue with my wedding (and honor my grandmother during the ceremony) but I also wonder if it’s appropriate to have a ceremony at all while she’s on her deathbed or has recently died. Should we postpone the wedding? What if she dies on the day? I’m already devastated that she’s sick, but I don’t know anything about the etiquette about death and weddings besides the Hugh Grant movie. I want to respect my grandmother and, if possible, not lose the thousands of dollars we’d forfeit by cancelling the wedding, as heartless as that sounds.
—One Wedding and a Funeral