Wedding Woes
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Monday

How was the weekend?  What's up today?

Weekend was good.  I made homemade lara bars (awesome) and we finally got 6let back on the soccer field.  He played GREAT. 

Sunday was lots of candy.  We went to FIL's and had a lot of fun.  Only a little drama.  SIL was telling everyone how she was such a good kid in high school.  Then her 15 yo says "until you got pregnant at 15."  Loud words followed and it was all just icky.

Today Max and I are going to look for blueberry bushes, strawberry plants, and apple trees. 

I'm trying hard not to think of the schedule for the next few weeks.  DH is out of town for 4 days.  In that time frame we have 3 baseball games, 2 soccer games, 1 lacrosse game, gymnastics, keeper training, soccer practice, baseball practice.  I need to make friends with a parent on 6let's team to help with carpool.
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Re: Monday

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    Well that certainly will make Easter dinner more lively, @6fsn

    Weekend was good. H left for fishing Friday, but set up an Easter egg hunt for me throughout the house with my favorite candy. He's a keeper.

     Saturday I took the dog to the dog park, worked out, did some light cleaning, and watched the Property Brothers marathon on HGTV. Yesterday H's mom stopped on her way out to Buffalo, then I took a nap. The weather was beautiful, I think it's finally Spring in Ohio!
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    I got all my food prep done on Friday, and spent Saturday in the shade with a book.  Then I watched old episodes of MacGyver on Netflix because why not?  Twiggy got me up every two hours that night so I was sleep deprived, migraine-y, and on edge yesterday.  It was a learning experience; I probably won't do well as a parent.

    DH got home yesterday from NOLA; sounds like he had a blast, but we did quarrel about the amount of money he spent on the trip. I was pretty pissed because we don't have the means to support $1k+ weekends with his friends (or mine!), regardless of the who or the why. I was also pissed because now some of the plans WE had made for US and the things WE need and/or want are impacted, not to mention he did not discuss the potential/expected costs with me at all.  That's on me as much as him, though, because I could have asked.  And then I got pissy at his friends for not asking about budget and just assuming that he(we) could fork over the money for this guy's bachelor party weekend extravaganza.  

    Also he came home and gushed about taking a trip to South Africa instead of Peru like we had discussed and I got sulky about that. I want to go to Peru! *stamps foot*

    Anyway, I got better sleep last night, so reason is winning and I'm more irritated than pissed today. It's only money, I can adjust our budget, and the SA trip might be cheaper than Peru, so I think I can get behind that, too. And his friends thought I was a "star" for prepping all the meals I did, so yay, pat on the back.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

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    4-day weekend was awesome.  I didn't even do anything, but I need to take more of those!  Thursday wasn't much of a day off.  I had to do fasting bloodwork and then spent most of the day doing errands.  But the rest of the weekend was mellow.  I should have gotten more done around the house.  But didn't.  On Easter Sunday, we had a coupon for free brunch buffets at Harrahs...which includes all you can drink mimosas and champagne.

    Today, I'm catching up at work, but that won't take too long.  More importantly, I'm catching up on WW, lol.  All those Prudie posts are calling my name ;)

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    Last day off for me.  Weekend was good with lots of playoff hockey to watch.  And we applied to adopt a dog!!  He's a little terrier-cross.  We met him at an adoption event we took MIL to and he seems to fit our lifestyle.  There was a lot of discussion though on if we should get one, but decided to go for it.  Now we're just waiting to see if we get picked.  

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    @6fsn  hahaha ohhh family drama :') I love that her kid piped up!
    And wow, you're on the ball about gifts! Those sound great, and he's going to love it ;)

    @charlotte989875  that's a cute idea what he did :)

    @atomicblonde I would be beyond pissed also, that was pretty inconsiderate of him. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, he's an adult and has ability to tell his buddys "no I shouldn't spend this much"

    @short+sassy  yay all you can eat/drink buffets ;) lol

    @WinstonsGirl vibes on hearing back about pup! :)


    Weekend was pretty decent.

    Thursday - did groceries. Got really good deals and had a couple of meals planned, so it definitely helps. Did some cleaning and food prep.

    Friday - Finished cleaning a bit before family came. M ended up picking up my mum because she doesn't drive. M's mum and stepdad came shortly after.
    Chatted, etc. Dinner turned out pretty good except for my scalloped potatoes, idk why but they ended up being somewhat hard. I may throw them in the oven tonight so I have food for tomorrow and soften them up.
    Anyways, the main part - thin steaks wrapped veggies on BBQ - turned out great! Made M and I wonder about future meals and diff veggies to use {we did peppers, zucchini and onion} On side we had the potatoes, ceasar salad and fried mushrooms and onions {separate}

    Turned out great :)

    Saturday - we did nothing. M ended up going out later, and it didn't seem like I was invited so I didn't go. Apparently I was incorrect, so I stayed home being pissy over nothing. {yes I get irked when M goes out so much and I'm at home - but most of the time it's during the week}

    Sunday - we went to M's extended family's place. His dad ended up being there {whom we haven't seen in awhile due to work and not living close}
    Ate a lot - per usual - and came home late. Didn't really wanna be late because I work today.



    Side note - we're trying cheesy, garlic, crack bread tonight. I'm really excited :)
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    @kvruns  what a cutie!
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    edited April 2017
    @kvruns he looks like a little toddler!  So cute!

    @atomicblonde we have separate finances for similar reasons as KV.  I don't need permission for shoes and he doesn't need to ask for his memorabilia or video games:).  On the bright side, you're fighting about Peru vs SA.  I mean, really, that's a win/win!

    @6fsn those all sound like awesome gifts!

    Weekend was good!  I worked a kids birthday party on Friday which was surprisingly easy.  When they were able to eat they annihilated the table, and just started grabbing food from wherever they were standing.  But there was a magician to hold their attention (and they weren't afraid to pick on him and I'm cruel so I thought that was funny).

    Saturday Hubs and I worked hard on rearranging the living room.  I can't upload pics to my Chit Chat post but overall I'm okay with the changes.  Just need to make some tweaks and purchases, oh darn!  Yesterday was dinner at MIL with my rents.  We all had a really nice time.  Today through Wednesday is work for me and video games for Hubs and then Denver on Thursday!  He's obsessing over the weather though since apparently it's sunny when we're not there and raining when we are.  Oh well.  I'm still excited.

    ETA @charlotte989875 that easter egg hunt is so cute!
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    @divarhd Any photos of the dress??


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    @MisskittyDanger thanks!  Cheesy, garlic crack bread sounds awesome. I could eat garlic bread all day every day and be happy which is weird because I'm not really a bread person
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    I found out how old I was when it took 2 days to recover after going out both Thursday night and all day Friday. I literally slept all Saturday and Sunday. Waking up just to eat (I will not miss a meal).  I even slept through going downtown to see "Aladdin" which sucks because I actually wanted to see that.

    @6fsn, those sound like awesome gifts!
    @atomicblonde, glad you got your food prep done.  Peru OR SA both sound awesome, so I'm sure you'll have fun either way!
    @winstonsgirl, hope you get the dog yo want! fx. I was wondering how may Canadians had today off.....

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    @divarhd I think your next convo with your FI needs to be that he needs to put his foot down and not allow his mother to treat you like that and that until she agrees neither of you will be around.  She doesn't need to shower you with roses, but greeting you politely when you enter a gathering should be a given in polite society.
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    kvruns said:

    @MisskittyDanger thanks!  Cheesy, garlic crack bread sounds awesome. I could eat garlic bread all day every day and be happy which is weird because I'm not really a bread person


    M is a total bread person and LIVES for cheesy garlic bread, so when I saw this on pinterest I knew I had to try it. Looks pretty easy, which is good cuz M is making it since I'm at work lol!
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    Good luck @thefanciestbeckler; all the good employment vibes to you!
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    Weekend was good, but busy.  I took half day on Friday.  DH and I did all the shopping for DefConn's bday party after going to lunch.  The rest of the afternoon we spent cleaning. 

    Saturday morning was more cleaning and then we had DefConn's bday party.  Sunday we got up and went to my parent's for breakfast.  We then came home and did *nothing* all afternoon. It was awesome.  

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    @divarhd Any photos of the dress??




    Not yet, but I will post them when I get home :)



    @divarhd I think your next convo with your FI needs to be that he needs to put his foot down and not allow his mother to treat you like that and that until she agrees neither of you will be around.  She doesn't need to shower you with roses, but greeting you politely when you enter a gathering should be a given in polite society.



    He has talked to her and she tried to explain away her behavior.  We talked about this the whole way back to my house last night.  He's gonna be right by my side if/when I flatten her.  He said unfortunately he's fully prepared for his mother to not only not be at our wedding but for her to not be in our lives if she doesn't change her attitude.  He's the only son that isn't within walking distance of momma so I know she's trying to hold on to any kind of control she can, but there is no excuse for being rude or mean to someone who has done nothing but love her son.
    Met: 5/4/16
    Dating: 6/21/16
    Engaged: 3/20/17
    Wedding: 2/24/18
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    divarhd said:





    @divarhd Any photos of the dress??






    Not yet, but I will post them when I get home :)





    @divarhd I think your next convo with your FI needs to be that he needs to put his foot down and not allow his mother to treat you like that and that until she agrees neither of you will be around.  She doesn't need to shower you with roses, but greeting you politely when you enter a gathering should be a given in polite society.





    He has talked to her and she tried to explain away her behavior.  We talked about this the whole way back to my house last night.  He's gonna be right by my side if/when I flatten her.  He said unfortunately he's fully prepared for his mother to not only not be at our wedding but for her to not be in our lives if she doesn't change her attitude.  He's the only son that isn't within walking distance of momma so I know she's trying to hold on to any kind of control she can, but there is no excuse for being rude or mean to someone who has done nothing but love her son.



    I totally get the impulse here, and she's totally out of line, but how is this going to help? Seems like that's only going to escalate the situation and make things worse. Honestly, if your FI is trying to explain away her behavior, but is unwilling to speak with her to work to change it, you have a problem with him and with her. 
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    divarhd said:








    @divarhd Any photos of the dress??








    Not yet, but I will post them when I get home :)







    @divarhd I think your next convo with your FI needs to be that he needs to put his foot down and not allow his mother to treat you like that and that until she agrees neither of you will be around.  She doesn't need to shower you with roses, but greeting you politely when you enter a gathering should be a given in polite society.







    He has talked to her and she tried to explain away her behavior.  We talked about this the whole way back to my house last night.  He's gonna be right by my side if/when I flatten her.  He said unfortunately he's fully prepared for his mother to not only not be at our wedding but for her to not be in our lives if she doesn't change her attitude.  He's the only son that isn't within walking distance of momma so I know she's trying to hold on to any kind of control she can, but there is no excuse for being rude or mean to someone who has done nothing but love her son.





    I totally get the impulse here, and she's totally out of line, but how is this going to help? Seems like that's only going to escalate the situation and make things worse. Honestly, if your FI is trying to explain away her behavior, but is unwilling to speak with her to work to change it, you have a problem with him and with her. 



    No, HE doesn't explain away her behavior, SHE does.  And he spoke with her after the "I'm not coming if it's not a Catholic church" fiasco.  With that, her explanation was that it's their tradition and it's what's expected, etc. 

    What's it going to help?  Probably nothing, but she'll know that unlike the other daughters in law, this one isn't going to sit back and let her continue to be hurtful for no reason.  I know one brother at least has talked to her about how she's spoken to his wife in the past, now my FI has done the same.  She clearly doesn't care what her sons have said.  I can't just stay silent, let him deal with and hope it gets better.  That almost feels like I'm excusing the behavior and I WILL stand up for myself.  There won't be any F bombs or anything, it'll stay classy but she needs to know, right from the source (if it comes to that) that how she's acting is hurtful and wrong. 

    Met: 5/4/16
    Dating: 6/21/16
    Engaged: 3/20/17
    Wedding: 2/24/18
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    edited April 2017


    divarhd said:












    divarhd said:














    @divarhd Any photos of the dress??












    Not yet, but I will post them when I get home :)











    @divarhd I think your next convo with your FI needs to be that he needs to put his foot down and not allow his mother to treat you like that and that until she agrees neither of you will be around.  She doesn't need to shower you with roses, but greeting you politely when you enter a gathering should be a given in polite society.











    He has talked to her and she tried to explain away her behavior.  We talked about this the whole way back to my house last night.  He's gonna be right by my side if/when I flatten her.  He said unfortunately he's fully prepared for his mother to not only not be at our wedding but for her to not be in our lives if she doesn't change her attitude.  He's the only son that isn't within walking distance of momma so I know she's trying to hold on to any kind of control she can, but there is no excuse for being rude or mean to someone who has done nothing but love her son.









    I totally get the impulse here, and she's totally out of line, but how is this going to help? Seems like that's only going to escalate the situation and make things worse. Honestly, if your FI is trying to explain away her behavior, but is unwilling to speak with her to work to change it, you have a problem with him and with her. 







    No, HE doesn't explain away her behavior, SHE does.  And he spoke with her after the "I'm not coming if it's not a Catholic church" fiasco.  With that, her explanation was that it's their tradition and it's what's expected, etc. 

    What's it going to help?  Probably nothing, but she'll know that unlike the other daughters in law, this one isn't going to sit back and let her continue to be hurtful for no reason.  I know one brother at least has talked to her about how she's spoken to his wife in the past, now my FI has done the same.  She clearly doesn't care what her sons have said.  I can't just stay silent, let him deal with and hope it gets better.  That almost feels like I'm excusing the behavior and I WILL stand up for myself.  There won't be any F bombs or anything, it'll stay classy but she needs to know, right from the source (if it comes to that) that how she's acting is hurtful and wrong. 





    I'm with @charlotte989875; I get the impulse but think this is the wrong way to handle it. I'd ask FI to refuse to attend anything FMIL will be at until she can treat you with respect. 
    image
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    divarhd said:








    divarhd said:











    @divarhd Any photos of the dress??










    Not yet, but I will post them when I get home :)









    @divarhd I think your next convo with your FI needs to be that he needs to put his foot down and not allow his mother to treat you like that and that until she agrees neither of you will be around.  She doesn't need to shower you with roses, but greeting you politely when you enter a gathering should be a given in polite society.









    He has talked to her and she tried to explain away her behavior.  We talked about this the whole way back to my house last night.  He's gonna be right by my side if/when I flatten her.  He said unfortunately he's fully prepared for his mother to not only not be at our wedding but for her to not be in our lives if she doesn't change her attitude.  He's the only son that isn't within walking distance of momma so I know she's trying to hold on to any kind of control she can, but there is no excuse for being rude or mean to someone who has done nothing but love her son.







    I totally get the impulse here, and she's totally out of line, but how is this going to help? Seems like that's only going to escalate the situation and make things worse. Honestly, if your FI is trying to explain away her behavior, but is unwilling to speak with her to work to change it, you have a problem with him and with her. 





    No, HE doesn't explain away her behavior, SHE does.  And he spoke with her after the "I'm not coming if it's not a Catholic church" fiasco.  With that, her explanation was that it's their tradition and it's what's expected, etc. 

    What's it going to help?  Probably nothing, but she'll know that unlike the other daughters in law, this one isn't going to sit back and let her continue to be hurtful for no reason.  I know one brother at least has talked to her about how she's spoken to his wife in the past, now my FI has done the same.  She clearly doesn't care what her sons have said.  I can't just stay silent, let him deal with and hope it gets better.  That almost feels like I'm excusing the behavior and I WILL stand up for myself.  There won't be any F bombs or anything, it'll stay classy but she needs to know, right from the source (if it comes to that) that how she's acting is hurtful and wrong. 



    Sorry, my bad on misreading who was doing the explaining away part. 

    But, I agree with @atomicblonde and @kimmiinthemitten; it sounds like you're spoiling for a fight (which I totally understand the feeling), and if the goal is for her to treat you with respect I can't imagine verbally "flattening" her is going to get you closer to a more polite, respectful relationship. 

    There's a huge difference between sitting back and taking it, and "going Irish on her" (side note, cultural stereotypes much?). I totally support standing up for yourself, calmly explaining that you won't be treated the way she is treating you, and that until she can be respectful you and your FI will be limiting your time with her. Definitely stand up for yourself, and your FI should be standing up for you, too; but I don't see how you flipping out her is going to be any different than her being rude to you. 
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    edited April 2017
    I know there are a small few Canadians on here, BUT if any of you are coming to Canada and want to know different ideas fb showed me this great site that I'm using to plan our summer!


    Side note: my city :)
    http://www.narcity.com/ottawa/

    Not sure if it's got American cities also, but check out mine :) I'm hoping to do a bunch and there's a bunch of places I'd been to but never knew of certain things


    edit: since some of you are on my instagram, you'll see some of these :)
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    @CharmedPam The joys of teaching.  I've been trying to deep clean the house all day 

    @MissKittyDanger I love Ottawa.  It's such a beautiful city

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    I know there are a small few Canadians on here, BUT if any of you are coming to Canada and want to know different ideas fb showed me this great site that I'm using to plan our summer!


    Side note: my city :)
    http://www.narcity.com/ottawa/

    Not sure if it's got American cities also, but check out mine :) I'm hoping to do a bunch and there's a bunch of places I'd been to but never knew of certain things


    edit: since some of you are on my instagram, you'll see some of these :)



    That's neat!  I like the layout and the info links seems "to the point" and useful.  For a local or a visitor.

    I went to the main Narcity page.  They list the cities they have pages for at the top.  It was pretty funny because it was "lots of Canadian cities"...and Boston.  Like, for whatever reason, Boston was the token U.S. city on the list, lol.*

    *Nothing derogatory meant toward Boston, I just though it was funny only one U.S. city was on the list.  As opposed to zero or a few.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    @WinstonsGirl  it has it's moments ;)

    @short+sassy  Boston! So random :)
    {to those in Boston, I'm counting you as Canadians now ;)! welcome!}
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    CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2017
    ha! I typed up narcity.com/Chicago and got the Toronto link!  I guess they're one in the same? 

    edit: If I were to move anywhere, it'd be Boston or the Boston 'burbs. 

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