Ok...so my fiance and I are getting married in August 2017. We are paying for most of the wedding ourselves - both sides of the family gave us some money, but we are paying for more than 50%. When the time came for my MOH to plan the Bridal Shower, my mom let me know that after the money she already gave me, she couldn't afford to pay for anything else. I told her that that was totally fine, I had extra money in my budget, and I could contribute to the shower if needed. My MOH and I sat down, discussed the situation, and we decided to have a small shower at my house and that I could take care of the food and my MOH would plan the rest with the BM's. I sent my MOH a guest list, as she requested, and that was it.
When my future MIL found out I 'had my hand in' the shower, she freaked. She also demanded that I have a larger shower and invite all of my fiance's cousins (I invited all of the Aunt's from both sides, BM's, close friends of mine and stopped there). I told her no and then she decided that she should throw me a separate shower, all by herself, exclusively for my fiance's side of the family if I was 'ok with it'. I again told her no - it's not like she wants to throw me a shower out of the goodness of her heart, she just wants to get her way.
My fiance got involved at my request and told her to back off because it's our wedding and, as the bride, my say is final -- but she's still pushing and told my fiance that if we don't invite these cousins who are EXPECTING a shower invite, then the family will label us as the 'black sheep' for doing something differently.
I don't want to let my future MIL walk all over me (she's already made other demands that we have said no to), but my fiance is worried that she's serious and people will be offended and potentially not even come to our wedding if they're not invited. I'm of the opinion that expecting an invite to anything, such as a Bridal Shower, is extremely rude and do not want to encourage this type of behavior.
Thoughts on this? We're supposed to have a discussion about this during the upcoming weekend face-to-face and I'm not sure what to do or say.