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Monday

HeffalumpHeffalump member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes
Good morning, WW!  What's going on?  How was the weekend?

Nothing unusual here.  Shingles are (is?) easing up, which is nice.  I stopped taking the bedtime nerve pain meds (which left me groggy in the morning), but I'm still taking the rest.  This weekend was just a whole bunch of logistical junk: activities are switching to summer schedules, the hardscape guy confused us with another client and showed up on the wrong day/time, trying to finalize Wooz's birthday party, firming up plans with my mom for Mother's Day, etc.  I was on my calendar half the weekend, I swear.  I napped yesterday, and it was glorious. 

Swim parent meeting is tomorrow, and practices start next week.  Where does the time go?  What are y'all up to this week?
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited May 2017
    Morning!!! 

    Friday night was great.  Bunco was fun and everyone else had a good time as well with our friends.  :) 

    Saturday and Sunday were just lovely.  The rain finally let up.  DH and I were finally able to get some stuff done outside.  We cleaned out our gutters and found tennis balls in two of them.  (**cough, kiddo, cough, cough**).  So don't let your kids throw tennis balls on your roof?  

    I got a lot of stuff cleaned up and organized.  I purged DefConn's winter stuff that won't fit next year.  

    And I watched over half of Sense8.  (DH has never seen it and was trying to get me to explain it to him.  He's *not* into SciFi, so I'm all..."Either watch or don't ask questions.") ;) 

    DH didn't go with his uncle, thankfully.  I had to work on my 'don't gloat' face.  ;) 
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Weekend was good; worked all day Saturday then dinner and drinks with friends. Stayed up way too late and spent yesterday napping. I'm not as young as I once was. 


    Finishing up grading and hopefully submitting everything today. Then the rest of the week is finishing the bathroom before heading to Buffalo for MIL's surprise party. 
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    bleve0821bleve0821 member
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    This is my current boss' last week here.  I guess I've learned a lot from him, mostly because he waits til I do something "wrong" and then uses it as a "teaching moment," or he waits til a week or so after something has happened/been done, and then he briefs someone else on it, and I'm like, "Huh???  Should I maybe have known about that before right this minute?"... but I won't be sorry to (hopefully) work with someone who is able to communicate/doesn't make me feel like a putz every day.  Maybe I am, but I have yet to learn anything of permanent value from this "gotcha oh-by-the-way" BS.  How hard is it to actually listen to me when I let me ask a question?  I know I'm at least intelligent enough to ask a coherent question.

    But it's not just the questions, it's all aspects of the job.  I have never felt like I could ask questions, so I've done it all on my own.  I've never felt like I've known how to do this job well, so I've been doing the best that I could with the limited guidance I've gotten, mostly in passing, from others.  I've gotten next to no training, no instruction, just "What are you doing?  Why are you doing that?" like I'm a 6yo trying to touch the hot waffle iron.

    For instance, this morning, I asked, "Can I take credit for this because I did X--" and I didn't even get to finish the question before I got a lecture on "not doing the bare minimum."  It was all I could do to not walk away from him.  The people in the main office have told me since day freaking one that "It's only temporary, we know it's tough, but since it's temporary we're not that concerned about it."  Which has been equally frustrating and hard not to take offense to.

    So now there's light at the end of the tunnel, and I get a new supervisor next week.  Which is super awesome because I just got the "In the time since you've been here, I don't even know what you've accomplished, so I'm going to have to do some tapdancing around performance appraisal time to make you look good" lecture and now I want to cry.

    Weekend was alright.  We mulched one of the front gardens Saturday, did a little more vegetable garden planting/prep, and a lot of nothing yesterday.  I did a buttload of laundry, and Twiggy blew his knee out again, so I guess it's back to the vet for surgery this time.  He'd been doing so damn well, and yesterday, he just slid on the damp grass and I guess did the same thing he did to hurt it in the first place.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

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    DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Friday, we went over to talk to the neighbors who ran off the buyer. It did not go well. She's consulted with an attorney to sue us over the fence and expects us to pay 100% to pay for the replacement. I have no problem paying half to repair the fence. It ended with me explaining to the next door neighbor, who got in the buyers face while screaming at her, that if she steps one foot on our property again, that I'll have her arrested for trespassing. 

    Saturday, H was supposed to work until 12. Then we were supposed to go to lunch with his mom. Instead, he worked until almost 2. I had a baby shower to go to at 2. Mouse, Norah, and I went to Target in the morning and then Mouse stayed home with H while Norah and I went to the shower. New mom got so much stuff! Her douche-of-epic-proportions baby daddy was there and it was all I could do to not tell him what a douche of epic proportions he is. 

    Sunday, we went to my brother's house for a cook out. I wasn't expecting (but should have known) that it was going to be all of his IL's too. They're not good people. Our family hung out in the back yard, her family hung out in the house. 

    Last night, I had a friend go over to H's house to give us an estimate on repairing the fence. He sells stuff that I know across the street neighbor uses and I specifically asked her Friday if he was the friend that gave them an estimate and she said no. He was. He called me and said, "I just bid this fence 2 weeks ago." Great! I asked what the bid included. She had him bid new, metal posts, too. There's nothing wrong with the posts on that side of the fence, she's just decided she's getting an upgraded fence on our dime. He ended up telling us he can replace the fence panels for $2000. He and H tried to talk to her about it, but she was either too stoned, drunk, or both to talk.
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Well she sounds wonderful @DrillSergeantCat. I missed it, but what happened to the fence?
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    DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
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    edited May 2017


    charlotte989875 said:


    Well she sounds wonderful @DrillSergeantCat. I missed it, but what happened to the fence?




    She's a peach! The fence has been up since H bought the house 5 years ago. His side had a chain link fence, but he took it down because he was worried his puppy would try to jump it and catch his collar. She called the police on H when he moved in because he put up a gate. The fence is probably around 10 years old and is rotten at the bottom from sitting in water. Our renter's dogs kept trying to dig under it, and in the process, scraped away the water damaged bottom. It's literally less than an inch off the ground in the worse parts. The fence has never been treated, sits directly on the ground, but she feels like we're 100% responsible for it. She has it in her head that a wooden fence would still be in pristine condition after 10 years with the extreme weather conditions we have here. I have no problem repairing the parts of the fence that our tenants damaged, but she wants us to not only make her whole, but to make her better. 
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    kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Hi all!  I was in training all day Thursday and Friday so I missed out on the fun.

    The weekend was crazy busy.  Friday, H and I went out with a friend for dinner/drinks.  He went home around 11 and I stayed and spent the night.  I like to stay out late and he doesn't.  We used to fight about it, until we decided to compromise.  He goes home when he's done and I don't get mad, and I can stay out if I want to stay later and he doesn't get mad.  It actually works really well, we should have thought of that early on.  Saturday, we do a 5k for suicide prevention in honor of my cousin who died with my fam.  I love it.  It's so much fun and we all go out to eat after.  I took a nap after that and woke up with the worst headache, which was okay because I had to work at 6:45 Sunday - and after that we had a bowling fundraiser for our 3 day team....

    I'm officially done fundraising!!  After we deposit the 2k we made yesterday, I'll be at my $2,300!  And we still have 3 months (minus a couple days) to go!  Now I just need to get serious about my training walks, but Michigan weather does not cooperate.

    So on the Izzy front.  I called last week and dude was a jerk.  He was like well I didn't even put you on the list because of the June 20th thing.  So I said I think we've worked around that, can I apply?  He said we had 2 people apply already and 3 on a waiting list after that so I'm confident she'll be adopted this week.  This morning I check, there's an update on her Petfinder profile reminding people that she's Deaf, has to be the only dog and requires a fence.  Proof he is a jerk!  Luckily, I didn't cancel the Lowes fence appointment and they'll be here in an hour.  If the quote is what we can afford right now, I'm applying!
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    That's ridiculous, @DrillSergeantCat. If she originally put up the fence, and you've repaired what has been damaged from her side, how is she not also responsible for the water damage? 
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    @DrillSergeantCat  Can cops do anything if neighbour calls for trespassing? My guess would be no, because it's not her property that person was on but idk different laws.
    What a damn nightmare with her ... can you call cops on her for being a friggen nightmare?
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    kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    @Heffalump glad you're starting to feel better!

    @DrillSergeantCat that sucks.  I hope she didn't scare off your buyer!

    @atomicblonde does this mean we can throw you a party on Friday when he's gone?  I remember you were warned in the beginning about him, but I feel like in real life he was even worse than expected!
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    @atomicblonde hopefully the new supervisor is better. Will the outgoing supervisor do your eval even though he's on the way out? And do you get a chance to respond/have input into what's in there? Maybe make a list of all the things you've done this year/what you think you deserve credit for in the event he doesn't recognize it and you can respond/rebut? I know that can have it's own problems, but if he might try and tank your eval it wouldn't hurt to have a response ready to go. 
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    Side note;
    We haven't had much of a 'dry up' period after everything melted. So everything along the water front is flooded.
    I'm trying to find photos on google, but if you look up "Ottawa/Gatineau Flooding" then you'll see the disaster.

    Nothing in my area, mostly east end and centre town, but some places are waist deep.

    Some are evacuated, some are state of emergency, some have military help.
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    DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
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    @charlotte989875 our former tenant told me she was upset about the fence and gave her H's #, but she's never called him in the 8-10 weeks she's had it. Her first instinct was to put a lien on the house or sue us. We haven't repaired anything, but we're willing to, she just won't cooperate.

    @MissKittyDanger I'm going to call the cops about the neighbor trespassing. 

    @kimmiinthemitten The buyer backed out Friday morning. That's why we had to go over there and talk to the neighbors. Also, I'm sorry the guy was a jerk, I hope you get Izzy. It sounds like you'd be a perfect fit for her.

    @atomicblonde your current supervisor sounds terrible. I hope your next one is better.
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    @Heffalump, glad to hear the shingles is easing up!

    @atomicblonde, I hope the new boss is better!

    @DrillSergeantCat, I'm so sorry to hear your all's buyer pulled out because of the crazy neighbors.  Geez!  That whole fence thing is ridiculous.  Quite frankly, she is guilty of slander.  If I remember correctly from your Friday post, didn't she tell the potential buyer she is putting a lien on the house?  That is a boldfaced lie.  Even if she had a judgment against you all, which she doesn't, I doubt she could put a lien on your house.  Those are usually for contractors/tradespeople who do work on home and don't get paid for it.  And, I'm sorry, why is she hiring an attorney?  This dispute is small claims, at best.

    @kimmiinthemitten, I'm sorry to hear things aren't looking good for adopting Izzy.

    @MissKittyDanger, I saw something over the weekend about the flooding in Ottawa and was hoping you all were okay.  Glad to hear it isn't affecting you and yay! for M's first day.

    Bad news on the short+sassy front, my H didn't get the job he interviewed for.  Oh well.  On the slightly bright side, he sent in resumes for a few others.  Because that has been his BIGGEST problem!!!  He doesn't look for work and doesn't send in resumes.  He hasn't even signed up with all the recruiters he can.  I'm hoping this is the turning of a new leaf.  I stressed to him and will keep stressing that finding a job is a NUMBERS game.

    Other than that, my weekend was great.  Especially since it was a 3 dayer.  Jazz Fest is finally over and I can have my street and its parking back, lol.

    I don't know why, but it feels like the month should be over, except we are only one week in.

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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    @DrillSergeantCat  oh good! Hopefully it stops her. Jeez ...
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    @short+sassy Yeh we're pretty lucky but it's bad in some places. I'm in more west end and not near water, but two places in west end is Constance Bay {where we typically go swimming} is bad and also Britannia Beach is flooded.

    Most of these places overflow because of the melt, but add a huge amount of rain and it's awful :( We had plans, but M and I debated on going places to help sandbag.
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    levioosalevioosa member
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    @DrillSergeantCat that all sounds like a nightmare. I'm sorry. 

    This weekend was pretty good. Friday night I went to dinner with my mom and my grandma. On Saturday SO's sister and her bf came over and we had dinner and watched some Netflix. Same thing happened on Sunday. The weather was perfect this weekend and I'm sad it's going to get hot again. 

    This morning I'm emailing HR about my identity theft I forgot about and it's making me nervous. It wasn't my fault but I feel like it makes me a liability. 


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    DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
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    @levioosa identity theft? 
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    DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
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    @sparklepants41 glad to hear your shower was so good! When we looked at the fence, 72 pickets have water damage that's been exacerbated by the dogs. That's about half. So where she thinks we need to pay for all of it...IDK. Even my realtor is in disbelief.
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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
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    DrillSergeantCat said:

    @sparklepants41 glad to hear your shower was so good! When we looked at the fence, 72 pickets have water damage that's been exacerbated by the dogs. That's about half. So where she thinks we need to pay for all of it...IDK. Even my realtor is in disbelief.



    And really it should be half of the depreciated value of an old fence.  You all are being more than generous to offer half for the boards of a new fence. 

    Unfortunately, not everyone is sane or reasonable.  Especially when it comes to money.

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    bleve0821bleve0821 member
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    @kimmiinthemitten, yes, all the celebrations

    @charlotte989875, he'll do half of my yearly eval.  I have a list of all the things I've done, but I know he'll consider it to all be pretty trivial, like all I did was color by number when he wanted a Wyeth.  I should have an opportunity to argue the eval if I need to.  Hopefully it won't come to that.  It's not a huge secret that things have been less than ideal, but I haven't voiced a lot of my concerns, partly because it is temporary, mostly because I'm not sure I have a leg to stand on with what I feel to be valid concerns.

    Fortunately, new boss and I will have an opportunity to sit down and talk about expectations on both sides of the table.  We both know and acknowledge there's a huge knowledge gap, and that some amount of mentoring needs to happen.

    @DrillSergeantCat, I wouldn't offer to pay for the fence, at all...but that's just me.  Water damage-made-worse-by-dogs may not have happened at all if the fence had been maintained appropriately to begin with.  Water damage doesn't happen overnight.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

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    levioosalevioosa member
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    DrillSergeantCat said:

    @levioosa identity theft? 


    Sometime around last May my identity was stolen and a bunch of fraudulent accounts were opened and defaulted.  I discovered it in August when debt collectors started calling to collect the past dues.  I got most of it cleared (what I could find), and I filed a police report and put holds on the credit bureaus.  I'm scared that somewhere out there is an arrest record or something with my name on it, and my credit definitely took a hit for awhile. It's just one more thing that could influence my employment that is frustrating.  People are shitty.  


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    kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
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    @levioosa that sucks!  I'm sorry.  

    In today's edition of sexist shit men say this happened at the fence appointment:

    Lowes:  Does your husband have a chainsaw?
    Me:  Why?
    Lowes:  It'll be cheaper for him to clear this out than my contractor.
    Me:  Well, we do have one and I'm the one who operates it.
    Lowes:  Crickets.

    I need to get a couple more quotes but they're a 4-6 week turnaround time, which just seems silly to me.  But I'm also cantankerous about the idea that I can't be a good rescue dog owner without a completely fenced in yard.  Please explain to me how my half acre, partially fenced in yard is worse than being surrendered by your original family.

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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    I'm surprised the require a fenced yard @kimmiinthemitten. While having a fenced in yard is so nice for the dog (seriously so much easier to just let him out in the back), but there are many ways to keep a dog safe in the yard. 
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    levioosalevioosa member
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    kimmiinthemitten said:

    @levioosa that sucks!  I'm sorry.  

    In today's edition of sexist shit men say this happened at the fence appointment:

    Lowes:  Does your husband have a chainsaw?
    Me:  Why?
    Lowes:  It'll be cheaper for him to clear this out than my contractor.
    Me:  Well, we do have one and I'm the one who operates it.
    Lowes:  Crickets.

    I need to get a couple more quotes but they're a 4-6 week turnaround time, which just seems silly to me.  But I'm also cantankerous about the idea that I can't be a good rescue dog owner without a completely fenced in yard.  Please explain to me how my half acre, partially fenced in yard is worse than being surrendered by your original family.



    Could you get a "dog run" as an acceptable alternative? They're much cheaper than a whole fence at around $200.  

    I hate sexist shit like that.  It happens all the time to me at hardware stores and also at the mechanic.  My ovaries apparently render me unable to comprehend such complex ideas. 


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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    @kimmiinthemitten  I've actually had more home-diy stores assume I'm doing the stuff than M. To which I say "In this case, I'm the idea person and he is the one who figures out how the best way is"
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    MissKittyDangerMissKittyDanger member
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    Paint is going to make me crazy.
    We narrowed it down to 2 paint colours, and they look so damn similar it's ridiculous.
    I guess I could go either way, but there is a smallllll difference.

    Behr - Shiny Luster




    Behr - Evening White




    Ignore what 'type' they are - they will be satin or eggshell since it's for kitchen.

    One will be kitchen {hoping lighter one} and other will likely be for rest of house - or similar tone.
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