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Wedding Invitations & Paper
MrsMik2017
member
What Would You Pay a Friend to Design Invites?
I have a talented bestie since childhood who's in marketing but trying to get a graphic design side-hustle going. Not doing bridesmaids, but she'd definitely be one. I've approached her about doing paper materials for our wedding and sending me the digital files to print elsewhere. When the topic of payment came up she said, "Just tell me what you are willing to pay me & that'll be fine."
Asked for:
1. Invitations suite (Invite, Reply, Details card)
2. Activity card on one side & Thank you note on the other side
3. Ceremony program
4. A couple of other signs (hashtag, a quote)
She's also amazing at hand-lettering so I've asked her to come down one weekend from Dallas to Austin (probably some same weekend I have a bridal shower) & we'll make the physical signs. I am willing to pay her a flat rate for everything & cover travel and expenses on the crafting weekend. What is the rate you would pay her based on the info I've given (design experience, friendship, scope of work)?
Re: What Would You Pay a Friend to Design Invites?
I don't think you know what trolling means.
in that case $7,000.
I work in events, have worked with plenty of brides, and one thing I know is that everyone is completely different in what they choose to do with their wedding. If I want to do the hokey-pokey or play musical chairs at my wedding (I don't, just using silly examples) then what does it matter to YOU? If I want to give everyone a crystal goblet as a favor or if I want to give everyone a special acorn that reminds me of each person, again, what does it matter to YOU? My question has to do with appropriate compensation, not what your opinion of my wedding choices is...
And it's unfortunate that The Knot won't let you delete a post when it gets so severely hijacked by someone else who is just TROLLING on their website. And yes, I do know what it means and did use it correctly. (In Internet slang, a troll (/ˈtroʊl/, /ˈtrɒl/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[2] or of otherwise disrupting normal, on-topic discussion,[3] often for the troll's amusement.)
I've reported you CMGragain and I find it incredibly disheartening that this type of behavior is so readily available on this website designed to help and uplift one another.
Alternatively, you can price out professional designers with poster rates, and find out the going rate for each bit, then add it together and round up to the nearest $50.
FWIW, I wouldn't use mad libs at a wedding (I shouldn't be bored at one), but I wouldn't personally side eye them or the charitable donation. (Unless of course if it was to a political or politically charged organization....that's just asking for trouble.) It's an unpopular opinion, though, and some of your guests will judge you no matter where you choose.
Also, FWIW, we didn't have any favors at our wedding, and no one noticed. Skip the favors altogether and move that money to something you want to splurge a little on.
the way your post is worded, i get the impression that you feel you should pay less because she "would be a bridesmaid if i had them" - meaning if she were a "bridesmaid" you'd be expecting these "services" for free or at a significantly reduced rate.
I'm assuming you've priced other vendors for these services - and feel that you should be paying her a similar rate, plus travel, plus hotel, meal expenses, pet boarding, childcare, etc - basically whatever costs she would incur to spend a weekend in Austin crafting for you. I doubt most stationary vendors/designers travel as part of a standard contract.
You also have the option of hiring a professional that's not a long time friend, and just letting your friend enjoy being a guest and attending things as she wishes.
The answers you have received as a direct result of your own responses. Trying to delete your original post and then rephrasing your question, hoping that no one would notice your original post, was a very bad idea. This is why you have received some of the responses from others.
You need to grow up and take responsibility for your own actions. If you posted that you were planning to rob a bank and asked what weapon you should use, no one would answer your question. We would tell you not to rob the bank.
Oops! I answered on your other post. Copied it here with a bit of a tweak and added the last paragraph:
I'd do a Google search and/or call a few local places to get an idea on normal pricing for those services. Then offer my friend something in that price range, plus fair travel expenses. She may/may not protest and insist on less. But that is her prerogative to offer less than the going rate. You shouldn't assume that (I'm not saying you are).
I'd also potentially ixnay the Activity/Favors Card. I suppose an activity, if it was related to you all as a couple, might be cute. Like a little, basic crossword about you all. Something like that. But it is an extra expense that some guests will just throw out.
Like other PPs have mentioned, you don't have to have any favors at all. That's fine. If you want to use the money you would have designated for favors to your favorite charity, that's fine also. But it's weird and a little off-putting to announce that to guests.
It's essentially saying, "We were going to give you Jordan Almonds/customized M&Ms/koozie with our names/etc. But decided to donate money to ABC Charity instead." As a guest I would be thinking, "Soooo, you all donated to your favorite charity. Ummm, okay. And now I'm not getting customized M&Ms." I mean, of course I'm joking about the M&Ms specifically, but the premise is the same. "We were going to get everyone a token gift and now we aren't."
Like all the other PPs on here, I'm not saying that to be mean. I'm trying to be helpful and telling you what my unbiased reaction would be. It certainly wouldn't be a huge side-eye, but there would be a brief snarky comment in my head. And I'd bet dollars to doughnuts some of your guests will have the same reaction.
I do want to pay my friend a professional rate. As I mentioned, I work in (corporate) events and do day-of coordination on the side and if a friend or acquaintance wanted me to coordinate their wedding I would offer a different rate because they are my friend than I would to just some Jane off the street. If I was having bridesmaids I would still be offering to pay her the same rate I am now, and I simply mentioned that to establish a history of our relationship and emphasize that we are close friends.
I've priced out getting a customized digital file from an Etsy seller and the rate of compensation I have in mind for my friend is many times more than what I would be asked to pay for a digital design from Etsy. And, as I said, I would absolutely pay her travel and expenses for coming to Austin to help me with the physical signs.
I also wasn't sure because she is new into the game and just getting her business started, so I know what professionals who have an established portfolio and high-demand for their time are asking for as compensation, but am not familiar with what sort of rates less-experienced people in the graphic design field are charging.
I do very much have the option of having my friend just come as a guest. I've made it very clear to her that I simply think she's incredibly talented and want to help her get more business, and that if this is too big an ask she is 100% at liberty to turn me down. She is excited to do this and has already sent me several designs. I don't want her to do more work without establishing how much I will pay her. That is why I came here to seek some advice.
AND SINCE EVERYONE WANTS TO FOCUS ON THE FAVORS AND THE ACTIVITY:
-Doesn't have to be Mad Libs. The point is for people to have a little something fun and silly to do as they wait at their tables for dinner to be called, or whenever, but just something to encourage people to talk to and get to know one another.
-The decision about the favors was made because of a) my cousin's UBER FANCY wedding a few years ago that did just this and I heard not one single complaint about it, in fact, many of my family expressed the opposite sentiment. If my snooty cousin can do this then I can too. and b) because many people are traveling from out of town and don't want some tacky crap to fit in their suitcase on the way home.
Thanks so much to the people who've taken the time to comment and share their opinions about the topic I originally posted about. Your advice and guidance have been very insightful and I'm grateful to you for taking the time to thoughtfully respond
Be careful now, missy, with that brazen, "devil-may-care" attitude of yours. It will go down as another mark on your permanent record ;-)
NO ONE IS SAYING YOU SHOULD DO FAVORS INSTEAD. They are saying that it's super tacky to announce your charitable giving. Because it is your charitable giving, not theirs - they didn't choose to do it, it isn't their money, they don't get a choice of where it went. It's just an excuse to say "Look, we are good people who care about causes." And you shouldn't have to say that.
My daughter's childhood friend had an "uber fancy" wedding. She bragged for months that it was a "must see" event, with incredible food, and incredible wine, and an incredible cigar bar, and an incredible.........
Her ceremony was at 2:00 PM. Her reception was at 6:00 PM. My husband and I declined her incredible invitation. She was shocked and actually texted me to ask why I declined her incredible invitation. I explained that her incredible 3 HOUR gap made it impossible for us to attend. Dressed for a "black tie optional" (no such thing) event at 2:00 PM, and "hanging out" in the city of Chicago for three hours in such attire, made it impossible for us to attend.
Her excuse? "Well, my sister did this for her wedding and no one complained...."
Courteous guests won't complain, and most won't be honest when asked.
Sure. I don't necessarily eat the favor at the reception - I usually take the edible favor back to my hotel room and eat it later that night or the next morning if I don't want to pack it. But you don't have to do favors. Not necessary. You just also shouldn't announce how you spent or donated that money instead.
Please listen to the good advice you are being given. Here, on The Knot, we will tell you the truth, even if you don't like it. There are plenty of other websites that will tell you that it is "your day", and "do anything you want". That is terrible advice. The feelings of your guests are very important. They might not tell you what they think because they care about you, and the won't want to hurt your feelings. They will THINK it, though, and maybe even talk about it later.
Everyone here is trying to help you. You need to listen. It is not our purpose to "uplift" anyone.
I never expect favors at weddings, ever. But here are my preferences as a guest: 1) edible because I'm usually traveling 2) nothing. If option #2, I always hope the B&G upgraded their cocktail hour or got a fab massage on their honeymoon or splurged for a better photographer. But I don't want a trinket. And I roll my eyes when a donation is announced. "WE ARE SO CHARITABLE - LOOK HOW CHARITABLE WE ARE." I know that's not the vibe you're trying to give off, but most people donate to charities privately, without broadcasting what great people they are.
I could give you suggestions on ranges, but I would need to know this additional information first.
That being said, you posted on the internet. Anything you post is up for comment. If you didn't want anyone to provide (really good actually) feedback on your choice of charitable donation/Mad Libs activity, you should have kept that information to yourself. But that ship has sailed. A charity is a very personal choice. Without giving a concrete example because I do not want to offend anyone, some people may feel passionate about gifting to a particular charity, but someone else may find that particular charity offensive because of moral/political/religious beliefs. The same way you don't talk about politics and religion in polite company, you should tread carefully when it comes to discussing charitable contributions - especially when you are making said donation on someone's behalf. And especially in this day and age where society has become extremely divided on issues.
What's the thank you note for? You should be going to each person (either via receiving line or table visits) to personally thank them. A card is very impersonal and rude.
And since you're new here, @CMGragain is the forums go to person for invitation questions. She's not trolling you personally, she's doing what she does best.
Not necessarily directed at the OP. But, on the subject of charities, there are a lot of charities I find offensive. Not necessarily because of what their cause is, but because it is an appallingly low percentage of total donations received that actually go to their cause. Inefficient (the nice word) or scam (sometimes the more accurate word) charities should not be rewarded.
So I'd also be annoyed if a couple's chosen charity was either a cause I found morally objectionable and/or used more than 20% of their donations to advertising/administrative, instead of to the good work they're supposedly doing.
And the donations: favors aren't necessary, and it's not required to announce what you used money for in lieu of favors. If you have extra money in the budget, maybe step up some of your catering options (wider selection, "fancier" apps, etc). I wouldn't necessarily side-eye a charity that I knew was close to the couple, like if they volunteered with a certain organization or something. But a lot of them can be a bit divisive, and as a guest I would rather not know I was unknowingly supporting them.
I personally LOVE Mad Libs and thought about having them at our tables as well. Then I realized that means we also have to have pens on the tables and somehow incorporate that paper into our decor and then most people will throw them away so it's just kind of creating waste. I don't hate the idea, but it's maybe not necessary.
Also, get rid of the back of the activity card. Bragging about donating to charity is just gross. If you don't want to do favors, that's great. 99% of people won't miss them. There is simply no reason to tell guests about a donation. It doesn't make you seem like a better person and it doesn't make anyone care about favors or lack thereof.