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Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Speech for groom's friends?
My future mother-in-law informed me that as a "surprise" to my fiance, her and my future father-in-law were planning a speech for our reception....for my fiance's friends. They actually want each of his friends to stand up and be acknowledged, simply for being a friend of the groom, while they reminisce on stories from high school (long before I was around). Huh? Has anyone seen this at a wedding?? For some background, my family is hosting the event. His friends played no part in our relationship (besides being our friend). His friends also are not helping with the wedding (while my friends are). We have no other bridal party besides the best man and MOH because there is drama between some of his friends. My fiance and I were already leaning toward having no speeches, not even a champagne toast for our own selves. Do I let this weird friend toast happen? Or do I tell the DJ to not let the microphone out of his sight??
Re: Speech for groom's friends?
I have a MIL who would have considered something like this, but no matter how much they want an emotional look back on the formative years of your FI, the wedding reception is not the place to make everyone listen to it. Tell them they'll need to make their thanks to his friends individually.
I think you need to nip it in the bud ASAP. First, politely tell your FMIL that this is not a go. Then make sure your DJ knows not to give the mic to your FILs.
No,no,no,no,no!
Nip this in the bud. I bet she'll thank you in a few years when the emotions over her son getting married subside and she realizes how terrible this sounds.
I would just tell your FMIL that you aren't planning on any toasts/speeches during the reception and then let the DJ know that no one is to have the microphone.
I was curious to see if anyone would have an argument in my FMIL's favor, but it looks like that's clearly not the case! My FI is definitely not as close as he used to be to a lot of his friends. I mean, the days his mom wants to talk about are his party days, and a lot of these people stopped being close when the partying stopped. In fact, there are a few friends that he actually regrets inviting and wishes he had saved room for other people....yet these friends would also be included in the toast. His mom was the "fun mom" during those party days. She let all the partiers crash at her place and it's one of her FAVORITE things to talk about socially.
I'm going to ask the DJ not to allow speeches. I will also let my coordinator and a few of my more ballsy friends know, in case there's a "situation". I'm going to tell my in-laws that they can make a speech at the rehearsal dinner, but not my wedding.
Maybe if she wants to do something special for him or his friends, she could put together some of their favorite stories in nice little book or something? On a site like Shutterfly, she could make a book for everyone & even include pictures. But good Lord, no one wants to listen to all of that at a wedding.
I initially typed the whole blood-talks-to-blood "Have your FI tell her no" before remembering she called it a surprise in the OP.