I’m a gay guy in my early 30s. As a child I was often beaten up for my effeminate ways, but I eventually found my way to peace and am now a happy, proud, out gay man. I have a lot of great friendships, mostly with other gay guys and straight women. The thing is, I’m also physically attracted to (some) women, and I’m not out about this. It’s been something that’s been building for a few years now, and I’m actually worried about two things.
First, I know I don’t want a relationship (short or long-term) with a woman. I just want to have fun, but it seems that most women aren’t interested in just a fling, especially with a guy who’s sensitive and seems like a good long-term partner. Is that wrong? I hope I’m not sounding self-centered or sexist by accident. Second, I worry about revealing my physical attraction to (some) women to my current female friends. I’m worried they’ll look at me like they do straight guys, which is with a kind of constant worry that it could all go wrong at any time. (Which I really get, since it seems like the straight guys I know would happily hook up with basically any woman.) I know this seems like a silly problem, but it’s bothering me and I just would like an outside opinion.
—Can Nice Guys Have Fun?