Destination Weddings Discussions

Great American Eclipse Weddings?

Anyone else getting married on August 21, 2017 during the solar eclipse? My fiancee and I bonded over the Pluto mission when we were falling for each other and we are both space/science nerds and. So, we decided to plan our wedding around the eclipse. It was particularly handy since my home town is in the path of totality.

Even though we started researching almost a year in advance, we missed out on booking rooms in the motels in my small home town. I had to frantically cobble together 8 hotel rooms in two different cities, both an hour from the wedding location. 

Luckily, we took care of that before eclipse mania kicked in and hotels started charging 5-6 times the regular rate, if any rooms are even available. 

My next worry is the traffic on the wedding day. Because we are shuttling guests from two towns on highways that are expected to be jammed (the state patrol finally decided to start having logistics discussions with all of the municipalities to come up with a plan.) We are putting on a pancake breakfast at the location to get everyone there early and make sure people are fed and happy. 

We are so very excited to have our closest friends and family join us on my family's 120 year old farm property (no longer a farm, the 5 acres that are left consist of my brother's house and the family reunion camp site). Logistics could be tricky. Weather SHOULD be good, which is why Idaho is getting so many visitors.

Tell me your Great American Eclipse wedding plans!!

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Re: Great American Eclipse Weddings?



  • Anyone else getting married on August 21, 2017 during the solar eclipse? My fiancee and I bonded over the Pluto mission when we were falling for each other and we are both space/science nerds and. So, we decided to plan our wedding around the eclipse. It was particularly handy since my home town is in the path of totality.

    Even though we started researching almost a year in advance, we missed out on booking rooms in the motels in my small home town. I had to frantically cobble together 8 hotel rooms in two different cities, both an hour from the wedding location. 

    Luckily, we took care of that before eclipse mania kicked in and hotels started charging 5-6 times the regular rate, if any rooms are even available. 

    My next worry is the traffic on the wedding day. Because we are shuttling guests from two towns on highways that are expected to be jammed (the state patrol finally decided to start having logistics discussions with all of the municipalities to come up with a plan.) We are putting on a pancake breakfast at the location to get everyone there early and make sure people are fed and happy. 

    We are so very excited to have our closest friends and family join us on my family's 120 year old farm property (no longer a farm, the 5 acres that are left consist of my brother's house and the family reunion camp site). Logistics could be tricky. Weather SHOULD be good, which is why Idaho is getting so many visitors.

    Tell me your Great American Eclipse wedding plans!!



    Honestly, this all sounds a little problematic.  Your guests have to drive an hour to your wedding? And possibly longer depending on traffic?  After they've already traveled to attend?  

    Do you have a plan for inclement weather? Are there enough restrooms? How many people are you inviting? Eight rooms doesn't seem like nearly enough, depending on the guest list.  


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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited May 2017
    I hope you won't be disappointed.  My DH is president of the local astronomy club, and about half the time they cancel their astronomy viewing sessions due to weather - and this is sunny Colorado!  Ironically, we will be traveling on that day and will miss the eclipse, but we have seen others.  (There was a surprise aurora borealis last night!  Anybody else see it?)

    I would caution you not to pin all of your plans on the eclipse event.  It could rain.

    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • My next worry is the traffic on the wedding day. Because we are shuttling guests from two towns on highways that are expected to be jammed (the state patrol finally decided to start having logistics discussions with all of the municipalities to come up with a plan.) We are putting on a pancake breakfast at the location to get everyone there early and make sure people are fed and happy. 

    We are so very excited to have our closest friends and family join us on my family's 120 year old farm property (no longer a farm, the 5 acres that are left consist of my brother's house and the family reunion camp site). Logistics could be tricky. Weather SHOULD be good, which is why Idaho is getting so many visitors.



    I wish you and your guests tons of luck with your plan.  Re: the bolded, how early will guests be arriving before the ceremony?  What does the timeline for the day look like: ceremony, reception, etc.?  I totally get wanting to avoid traffic, I'm just wondering with traffic, pancake breakfast, ceremony, reception, whatever else, how long of a day this is going to be for everyone.
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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited May 2017







    Heffalump said:







    I wish you and your guests tons of luck with your plan.  Re: the bolded, how early will guests be arriving before the ceremony?  What does the timeline for the day look like: ceremony, reception, etc.?  I totally get wanting to avoid traffic, I'm just wondering with traffic, pancake breakfast, ceremony, reception, whatever else, how long of a day this is going to be for everyone.






    Guests will be picked up around 8-8:30am. We will fine tune that as we get closer and get reports of what the expected traffic will be.

    9:15 Breakfast is served in my brother's yard. Guests will casually dine at their own pace.

    10:15 they will be directed to the wedding site across a little stream. There, they will take polaroids for the guest book and have some beverages.

    10:15 The partial eclipse starts and our astronomy friend will give a little eclipse tutorial and people will be given glasses to watch the moon creep across the sun. A telescope will also be available. Our friend will answer questions. 

    10:45 guitarist starts, guests begin taking their seats in the field (parasols and fans available). People still able to look at eclipse using glasses.

    11:00 ceremony starts. 

    11:22 ceremony pauses because things will be getting weird (eclipse timing on the advice of eclipse expert who walked me through what will happen)

    11:30 Total darkness for almost 2 minutes. 

    11:35 Ceremony ends, pictures begin

    12 noon Lunch in the shelter (kind of like an open barn), toasts.

    2:00 Wrap up. 

    If it rains, everything happens in the park shelter. 

    So, about a 5-6 hour day, which is kind of standard for a wedding and reception. Instead of ceremony, cocktail hour, dinner, cake cutting, first dances, then dancing till midnight and a grand exit, our guests will have breakfast, eclipse gazing & tutorial, ceremony, photos, a few toasts, lunch, and send off.

    The good thing is that this is a small group of friends and family who like to spend time together but don't always get to. No obligatory "We've got to go to this wedding tonight but we will leave as soon as they cut the cake" type guests. We've spent 5 hours at BBQs at many of these people's homes!

    Can you skip the breakfast? I would not be happy at being up at 6:30 on a Saturday to get ready for a  wedding, drive for an hour and then have to sit around for 2 hours for the ceremony to start.  You are asking a lot from your guests. There are not enough pancakes in the world to make up for an 8 am Saturday pick up. 

    If it's an eclipse, it's going to be 'viewable' throughout your region. Why can you not have the ceremony/wedding at a venue where guests can stay? That way you can have your morning ceremony but not so obscenely early. 
  • lnixon8lnixon8 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    The hour long pancake breakfast followed by 45 minutes of looking at the eclipse is way too much. You're planning a wedding, not an eclipse viewing party.


  • Are all your guests as interested in the eclipse as you are? I think it's cool and I care...but not enough to stand around in a field for a few hours. Could you move the breakfast up a little bit? Or maybe find a more central location? I agree I'd be pretty grumpy getting up and wedding-ready to be picked up at 8:30 (and I am a morning person). 

    If it rains and you have to utilize the park shelter, how will you handle the events that are centered around the eclipse?
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  • lnixon8 said:



    The hour long pancake breakfast followed by 45 minutes of looking at the eclipse is way too much. You're planning a wedding, not an eclipse viewing party.--

    I keep wondering if I accidentally asked, in my original post, if anyone thought we should or shouldn't have an eclipse wedding. But, I didn't. I'm asking other eclipse wedding couples what they are planning and how they are handling the influx of international visitors to their wedding site. So, thanks for your unsolicited opinion. There are others out there (see the links in this thread) who are planning weddings around this event. An eclipse wedding isn't for everyone. It requires a certain sense of adventure and a group of friends and family who aren't as cranky and whiny as it sounds like people think they will be. 



    SITB
    Did you even read the link you posted? The couple got married privately and then celebrated with friends and family at home days later. If you think the only people allowed to respond to this are other eclipse people then why don't you message that last couple and see what they're doing? (even though thier own website screams that it will be a huge pita for guests)








  • Are all your guests as interested in the eclipse as you are? I think it's cool and I care...but not enough to stand around in a field for a few hours. Could you move the breakfast up a little bit? Or maybe find a more central location? I agree I'd be pretty grumpy getting up and wedding-ready to be picked up at 8:30 (and I am a morning person). 

    If it rains and you have to utilize the park shelter, how will you handle the events that are centered around the eclipse?




    Yeah. It's a pretty big effing deal. It's not standing around in a field for a few hours. It's enjoying the company of dear friends and family and then experiencing a rare and mind blowing event (along with 500K other people who have traveled from around the globe to experience it.)

    If it rains, we are still spending time with the people we love most and who love us. I'm so glad they are not the type who would be grumpy having to get up in the morning to celebrate with us. They would celebrate with us if we asked them to go to a mediocre event hall for a rubber chicken dinner and cheesy DJ music but that's not our style (whew!)

    I know there are other adventurous souls out there who are and have planned eclipse weddings (see the links in the thread) and I'd like to hear from them. I'm beginning to thing this Knot community is pretty small. 


    It is small, and I can guarantee you probably won't find any eclipse brides here.

    As someone who is also planning a remote wedding, and who is down for weird adventures, I would be pumped for your wedding. But I also wake up at 4am every weekend for 3 months each fall to stalk woodland creatures through the bush.  Getting "wedding ready" that early wouldn't be an issue for us.

    Try not to let the Knot make you feel bad about your wedding. Nothing you are doing is breaking etiquette.  I think it sounds like fun. 


  • You mean you get to experience darkness? Wow, it's not like that happens every 12 hours or so on Earth. 

    Look, I think it's fine to have an eclipse wedding. What's not fine is making guests get up at 6:30, spend over an hour in traffic and sit around for a 11:30 am wedding. 

    Find a venue along the 70 mile path where everyone can stay, and have your wedding there. No one is saying not to have an eclipse wedding. We are saying be more thoughtful and respectful of your guests' time. I'm a morning person, and viewed several total eclipse- even hiked in to see some. I think this is a bit much. 

    Don't punish your guests for the lack of foresight on your end. If anything, you should be driving an hour to go to your guests not making them come to you.  It's just way too early to ask people to be up for a nearly midday eclipse. Especially because it was preventable but you didn't book in time. 

    Anybody else have Bonnie Tyler stuck in their head?


    YES. But this version (I hope the link works!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsgWUq0fdKk













  • Are all your guests as interested in the eclipse as you are? I think it's cool and I care...but not enough to stand around in a field for a few hours. Could you move the breakfast up a little bit? Or maybe find a more central location? I agree I'd be pretty grumpy getting up and wedding-ready to be picked up at 8:30 (and I am a morning person). 

    If it rains and you have to utilize the park shelter, how will you handle the events that are centered around the eclipse?






    Yeah. It's a pretty big effing deal. It's not standing around in a field for a few hours. It's enjoying the company of dear friends and family and then experiencing a rare and mind blowing event (along with 500K other people who have traveled from around the globe to experience it.)

    If it rains, we are still spending time with the people we love most and who love us. I'm so glad they are not the type who would be grumpy having to get up in the morning to celebrate with us. They would celebrate with us if we asked them to go to a mediocre event hall for a rubber chicken dinner and cheesy DJ music but that's not our style (whew!)

    I know there are other adventurous souls out there who are and have planned eclipse weddings (see the links in the thread) and I'd like to hear from them. I'm beginning to thing this Knot community is pretty small. 




    It is small, and I can guarantee you probably won't find any eclipse brides here.

    As someone who is also planning a remote wedding, and who is down for weird adventures, I would be pumped for your wedding. But I also wake up at 4am every weekend for 3 months each fall to stalk woodland creatures through the bush.  Getting "wedding ready" that early wouldn't be an issue for us.

    Try not to let the Knot make you feel bad about your wedding. Nothing you are doing is breaking etiquette.  I think it sounds like fun. 


    It is a small-ish community so yes you may have trouble finding someone else doing the same thing. Technically, no, this plan isn't breaking etiquette but there is the comfort of your guests to consider. If EVERYONE attending the wedding regularly gets up early on the weekends to go adventuring, then sure it's great, go for it. I'm a pretty adventurous person so it would probably be cool, but I know plenty of people who aren't. 




















  • Are all your guests as interested in the eclipse as you are? I think it's cool and I care...but not enough to stand around in a field for a few hours. Could you move the breakfast up a little bit? Or maybe find a more central location? I agree I'd be pretty grumpy getting up and wedding-ready to be picked up at 8:30 (and I am a morning person). 

    If it rains and you have to utilize the park shelter, how will you handle the events that are centered around the eclipse?








    Yeah. It's a pretty big effing deal. It's not standing around in a field for a few hours. It's enjoying the company of dear friends and family and then experiencing a rare and mind blowing event (along with 500K other people who have traveled from around the globe to experience it.)

    If it rains, we are still spending time with the people we love most and who love us. I'm so glad they are not the type who would be grumpy having to get up in the morning to celebrate with us. They would celebrate with us if we asked them to go to a mediocre event hall for a rubber chicken dinner and cheesy DJ music but that's not our style (whew!)

    I know there are other adventurous souls out there who are and have planned eclipse weddings (see the links in the thread) and I'd like to hear from them. I'm beginning to thing this Knot community is pretty small. 






    It is small, and I can guarantee you probably won't find any eclipse brides here.

    As someone who is also planning a remote wedding, and who is down for weird adventures, I would be pumped for your wedding. But I also wake up at 4am every weekend for 3 months each fall to stalk woodland creatures through the bush.  Getting "wedding ready" that early wouldn't be an issue for us.

    Try not to let the Knot make you feel bad about your wedding. Nothing you are doing is breaking etiquette.  I think it sounds like fun. 




    It is a small-ish community so yes you may have trouble finding someone else doing the same thing. Technically, no, this plan isn't breaking etiquette but there is the comfort of your guests to consider. If EVERYONE attending the wedding regularly gets up early on the weekends to go adventuring, then sure it's great, go for it. I'm a pretty adventurous person so it would probably be cool, but I know plenty of people who aren't. 


    Not every single guest will 100% love every aspect of a wedding. I loathe sitting through mass (and I was raised Catholic and spent 2.5 years in a convent, sooo I even know what's going on and I still dislike it). I don't like weddings in the middle of huge cities because I hate traffic. I think weddings at those wedding chapel/wedding venues that are just for weddings are kind of boring. I prefer a DJ over a live band.  I don't mind gaps if there are things I can do to kill time.  Every guest has their own preferences. 

    It's unrealistic to try and cater to EVERYONE. If a good portion of your guests are into adventure (she's only having 30 people, it's a fair bet she probably knows them all well) then it's fine.  































  • Are all your guests as interested in the eclipse as you are? I think it's cool and I care...but not enough to stand around in a field for a few hours. Could you move the breakfast up a little bit? Or maybe find a more central location? I agree I'd be pretty grumpy getting up and wedding-ready to be picked up at 8:30 (and I am a morning person). 

    If it rains and you have to utilize the park shelter, how will you handle the events that are centered around the eclipse?










    Yeah. It's a pretty big effing deal. It's not standing around in a field for a few hours. It's enjoying the company of dear friends and family and then experiencing a rare and mind blowing event (along with 500K other people who have traveled from around the globe to experience it.)

    If it rains, we are still spending time with the people we love most and who love us. I'm so glad they are not the type who would be grumpy having to get up in the morning to celebrate with us. They would celebrate with us if we asked them to go to a mediocre event hall for a rubber chicken dinner and cheesy DJ music but that's not our style (whew!)

    I know there are other adventurous souls out there who are and have planned eclipse weddings (see the links in the thread) and I'd like to hear from them. I'm beginning to thing this Knot community is pretty small. 








    It is small, and I can guarantee you probably won't find any eclipse brides here.

    As someone who is also planning a remote wedding, and who is down for weird adventures, I would be pumped for your wedding. But I also wake up at 4am every weekend for 3 months each fall to stalk woodland creatures through the bush.  Getting "wedding ready" that early wouldn't be an issue for us.

    Try not to let the Knot make you feel bad about your wedding. Nothing you are doing is breaking etiquette.  I think it sounds like fun. 






    It is a small-ish community so yes you may have trouble finding someone else doing the same thing. Technically, no, this plan isn't breaking etiquette but there is the comfort of your guests to consider. If EVERYONE attending the wedding regularly gets up early on the weekends to go adventuring, then sure it's great, go for it. I'm a pretty adventurous person so it would probably be cool, but I know plenty of people who aren't. 




    Not every single guest will 100% love every aspect of a wedding. I loathe sitting through mass (and I was raised Catholic and spent 2.5 years in a convent, sooo I even know what's going on and I still dislike it). I don't like weddings in the middle of huge cities because I hate traffic. I think weddings at those wedding chapel/wedding venues that are just for weddings are kind of boring. I prefer a DJ over a live band.  I don't mind gaps if there are things I can do to kill time.  Every guest has their own preferences. 

    It's unrealistic to try and cater to EVERYONE. If a good portion of your guests are into adventure (she's only having 30 people, it's a fair bet she probably knows them all well) then it's fine.  



    No everyone won't love EVERY aspect of everything but there's a big difference between sitting through mass and traveling over an hour early in the morning to a remote location. DJ vs band is a preference thing, location and time of day can impact guest comfort. 










































  • Are all your guests as interested in the eclipse as you are? I think it's cool and I care...but not enough to stand around in a field for a few hours. Could you move the breakfast up a little bit? Or maybe find a more central location? I agree I'd be pretty grumpy getting up and wedding-ready to be picked up at 8:30 (and I am a morning person). 

    If it rains and you have to utilize the park shelter, how will you handle the events that are centered around the eclipse?












    Yeah. It's a pretty big effing deal. It's not standing around in a field for a few hours. It's enjoying the company of dear friends and family and then experiencing a rare and mind blowing event (along with 500K other people who have traveled from around the globe to experience it.)

    If it rains, we are still spending time with the people we love most and who love us. I'm so glad they are not the type who would be grumpy having to get up in the morning to celebrate with us. They would celebrate with us if we asked them to go to a mediocre event hall for a rubber chicken dinner and cheesy DJ music but that's not our style (whew!)

    I know there are other adventurous souls out there who are and have planned eclipse weddings (see the links in the thread) and I'd like to hear from them. I'm beginning to thing this Knot community is pretty small. 










    It is small, and I can guarantee you probably won't find any eclipse brides here.

    As someone who is also planning a remote wedding, and who is down for weird adventures, I would be pumped for your wedding. But I also wake up at 4am every weekend for 3 months each fall to stalk woodland creatures through the bush.  Getting "wedding ready" that early wouldn't be an issue for us.

    Try not to let the Knot make you feel bad about your wedding. Nothing you are doing is breaking etiquette.  I think it sounds like fun. 








    It is a small-ish community so yes you may have trouble finding someone else doing the same thing. Technically, no, this plan isn't breaking etiquette but there is the comfort of your guests to consider. If EVERYONE attending the wedding regularly gets up early on the weekends to go adventuring, then sure it's great, go for it. I'm a pretty adventurous person so it would probably be cool, but I know plenty of people who aren't. 






    Not every single guest will 100% love every aspect of a wedding. I loathe sitting through mass (and I was raised Catholic and spent 2.5 years in a convent, sooo I even know what's going on and I still dislike it). I don't like weddings in the middle of huge cities because I hate traffic. I think weddings at those wedding chapel/wedding venues that are just for weddings are kind of boring. I prefer a DJ over a live band.  I don't mind gaps if there are things I can do to kill time.  Every guest has their own preferences. 

    It's unrealistic to try and cater to EVERYONE. If a good portion of your guests are into adventure (she's only having 30 people, it's a fair bet she probably knows them all well) then it's fine.  





    No everyone won't love EVERY aspect of everything but there's a big difference between sitting through mass and traveling over an hour early in the morning to a remote location. DJ vs band is a preference thing, location and time of day can impact guest comfort. 


    Like I said, at only 30 guests, I'm sure OP knows most of them pretty well (we are having twice that and I would easily be able to identify my guests that wouldn't be thrilled to get up that early). I don't think it's necessary too poo-poo over people's plans just because of the potential discomfort of guests we don't even know. Especially when they aren't even breaking etiquette.  If a guest doesn't want to get up early and do all the travelling, they can decline the invite. No big deal.

    I personally would rather get up early and drive a far peice for breakfast than sit through mass. However I don't tell brides not to have Catholic ceremonies due to my discomfort with the church.  That would be rude, as they are within their right to have such weddings.
  • I don't see the problem with early weddings, that's what it boils down to. I would rather get up early to travel and miss traffic and eat breakfast, as opposed to crawling along some highway like a herd of cattle, just so I could sleep in a bit.  Her wedding day is structured differently then most, but nothing about it is so poorly planned that it requires so many "helpful" remarks regarding her logistics. 

    There are limited locations/hotels/venues to properly experience the eclipse. They did their best to make it as convenient as possible (arranging transportation, and rooms to the best of their ability). Did anyone actually READ that it's not like they can just move the location because everywhere is full?  We don't do weddings in early July in these parts because of the Calgary Stampede. Good luck booking rooms or venues for anything. Plus the rates triple or more. Traffic is a nightmare. Many locals book vacation time so we can LEAVE the city. Maybe if you're not used to your place of residence hosting major events, you can't relate. 

    It's a single day, and a very very small guest list.  If guests really can't tolerate the getting up and travelling (they don't even have to drive themselves so that's a plus) then they can decline.  I just don't see any of her plans being that problematic. 
  • I don't see a problem with any of your plans. I think it sounds like an awesome time and very unique. The people you are inviting are obviously family or super close friends. I don't think they will bat an eye st any "inconvenience." It's one day-get up people, it won't kill you. I shudder to think of what I've done/been subjected to as a BM and as a wedding guest. This doesn't come close. In the scheme of things, getting up early for pancakes before a lovely wedding is not a big deal. Enjoy your family and friends who are making an effort to spend your special day with you. I have a feeling your guests are going to be talking about this awesome wedding/experience for years. At this point I'll go to ANY wedding that doesn't have or involve a barn, mason jars, or some type of "bar." (Fill in candy, dessert, taco, mimosa, etc.)


  • I don't see a problem with any of your plans. I think it sounds like an awesome time and very unique. The people you are inviting are obviously family or super close friends. I don't think they will bat an eye st any "inconvenience." It's one day-get up people, it won't kill you. I shudder to think of what I've done/been subjected to as a BM and as a wedding guest. This doesn't come close. In the scheme of things, getting up early for pancakes before a lovely wedding is not a big deal. Enjoy your family and friends who are making an effort to spend your special day with you. I have a feeling your guests are going to be talking about this awesome wedding/experience for years. At this point I'll go to ANY wedding that doesn't have or involve a barn, mason jars, or some type of "bar." (Fill in candy, dessert, taco, mimosa, etc.)


    But weddings don't have to be like this, which is what everyone here is saying. If you are inviting people to your event (wedding or otherwise) you should take their comfort into account. If the OP wasn't inviting anyone to the event they could get up as early as they want, do whatever they want, but the minute you invite guests, regardless of how many or how close they are, you need to think about them. 


  • I don't see the problem with early weddings, that's what it boils down to. I would rather get up early to travel and miss traffic and eat breakfast, as opposed to crawling along some highway like a herd of cattle, just so I could sleep in a bit.  Her wedding day is structured differently then most, but nothing about it is so poorly planned that it requires so many "helpful" remarks regarding her logistics. 

    There are limited locations/hotels/venues to properly experience the eclipse. They did their best to make it as convenient as possible (arranging transportation, and rooms to the best of their ability). Did anyone actually READ that it's not like they can just move the location because everywhere is full?  We don't do weddings in early July in these parts because of the Calgary Stampede. Good luck booking rooms or venues for anything. Plus the rates triple or more. Traffic is a nightmare. Many locals book vacation time so we can LEAVE the city. Maybe if you're not used to your place of residence hosting major events, you can't relate. 

    It's a single day, and a very very small guest list.  If guests really can't tolerate the getting up and travelling (they don't even have to drive themselves so that's a plus) then they can decline.  I just don't see any of her plans being that problematic. 


    As far as your middle paragraph, yes, I lived in a city that hosted a humongous international airplane festival for a week every summer. I also grew up down the road from a NFL stadium. In both of those places, I knew people who made plans to get out of town or even rent out their house to out-of-towners. We all knew better than to schedule anything during those times, or if we did to plan WAY in advance because getting around town was awful and hotel were more expensive. The festival was the same week every year, and couples would wait to confirm their wedding date until football schedules were posted. When there's something incredibly huge going on, you either plan waaaaay ahead of time or alter your plans. That's the part that, to me, speaks to putting a vision ahead of everything. 

    I admit I missed where OP said she's only having 30 guests; that's much more manageable and much easier to confirm that everyone can handle the trek and would be up for the adventure. That does change things slightly. 
  • I don't know what you mean by "be like this?" She has taken her guests comfort into account-hence the pancake breakfast and the attempt to avoid a traffic jam. Not sure what you mean by if they weren't invited to the wedding they could get up when they want? By that logic, I could go to a matinee instead of an afternoon wedding. She has planned for her guests-they can choose to go or not. If my family member or friend prioritized sleeping in over attending my wedding, that would be okay by me.
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