Lastly, I think most parents recognize when their kids are poorly behaved, especially at something like a wedding. They may have brought them to the engagement party since those are usually more casual, but may decide on their own not to bring them to the wedding.
I wholeheartedly disagree with this. Typically the parents of rat children think their kids are complete angels.
Yeah, you guys are right. I don't have kids, and I was thinking of most of the people we know who didn't bring their kids to our wedding. For day to day things, I agree, most parents don't know their kids are awful, but it seemed like more of them at least knew when their kid couldn't handle something like a wedding?
So I'll just say this.... I even see H being one of these parents.
He is guilty of letting babybelle run up to other people's tables at restaurants "because he's so cute". Um no. Objectively, babybelle is sticky and snotty and screamy. He's a toddler. Even people who have kids might be out to a meal wanting to escape. Even people who like kids but don't have them may want an uninterrupted conversation. And then there are people who don't like kids at all and are like "get your fucking sticky mini person away from my table. please and thank you."
I've tried to explain this to H. Even when I explain it, he looks at me like I'm crazy that someone wouldn't want a sticky toddler to interrupt their meal. SMDH
You simply invite the people whom you want to invite. You do not set age restriction rules. Be prepared for drama, especially if you plan to exclude on one family's children! That will be rather obvious.
I agree 100%. Children are like any other human beings. You invite the ones you want to invite, as long as you don't split up households. Just because you invite some children, it doesn't mean you have to invite all of them. That doesn't mean the parents of the left out kids will understand. They will probably feel insulted. It will not occur to them that their children are not invited to things because they don't behave. So good luck with that.
Were the kids actually invited to the engagement party, or did their parents just bring them along? If the former, yes, they have to be invited to the wedding, but I think that if their parents just brought them and they weren't actually invited to the engagement party, it may not be necessary.
But if they do come to the wedding and misbehave, you can have a DOC, security or venue staff have them and their parents escorted out if required -- or do it yourself if you don't have any of these. But be prepared for tantrums from both the kids and their parents if you do.
I relish the thought of throwing unruly children and their oblivious parents out of a wedding reception. It warms the cockles of my cold, cold heart to picture those miscreants at the curb, wondering what just happened.
In reality, it would be more embarrassing to the parents, and other guests, than neglecting the etiquette rule that the kids have to be invited to the wedding because they were invited to the engagement party. Can't we get an exception, based on the rule that the goal of good etiquette is based on making others feel comfortable? I'll understand if you say no.
Hi--I'm just gonna chime in with much of what's been said thus far. If you exclude kids from one family and not another's that's rude. But, if you simply have a "no kids allowed" type scenario, I don't see there being any issue with this. Personally don't find it rude when someone chooses to have no kids whatsoever at their wedding, but I guess some parents might be offended by that. At the end of the day, it's your wedding (and thus, your money) and not theirs, so it's YOUR decision, not theirs. I would do no kids overall if that's what you're leaning towards.
Hi--I'm just gonna chime in with much of what's been said thus far. If you exclude kids from one family and not another's that's rude. But, if you simply have a "no kids allowed" type scenario, I don't see there being any issue with this. Personally don't find it rude when someone chooses to have no kids whatsoever at their wedding, but I guess some parents might be offended by that. At the end of the day, it's your wedding (and thus, your money) and not theirs, so it's YOUR decision, not theirs. I would do no kids overall if that's what you're leaning towards.
I'm curious about your reasoning on the bolded statement. There is no rule of etiquette that says children are an all or none deal. Inviting in circles is the safest way to go, for instance - only the siblings' and cousins' children. Now, if said bratty child is a sibling's child or cousin, there's probably going to be hell to pay if he is the only child from the family not invited. They'll probably have to suck it up and hope for the best. If it's a friend's child, they can leave him and his siblings out, without violating any etiquette rules. While it may be more diplomatic to not invite any of the friends's kids, It doesn't seem fair to exclude all the kids just because one is naughty.
Re: How to set age restriction for guests?
So I'll just say this.... I even see H being one of these parents.
He is guilty of letting babybelle run up to other people's tables at restaurants "because he's so cute". Um no. Objectively, babybelle is sticky and snotty and screamy. He's a toddler. Even people who have kids might be out to a meal wanting to escape. Even people who like kids but don't have them may want an uninterrupted conversation. And then there are people who don't like kids at all and are like "get your fucking sticky mini person away from my table. please and thank you."
I've tried to explain this to H. Even when I explain it, he looks at me like I'm crazy that someone wouldn't want a sticky toddler to interrupt their meal. SMDH
Maybe we signed it at the courthouse when we went to go get it? I don't recall. I just know it was not after the ceremony.
I don't even know where it is now!
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I agree 100%. Children are like any other human beings. You invite the ones you want to invite, as long as you don't split up households. Just because you invite some children, it doesn't mean you have to invite all of them. That doesn't mean the parents of the left out kids will understand. They will probably feel insulted. It will not occur to them that their children are not invited to things because they don't behave. So good luck with that.
I relish the thought of throwing unruly children and their oblivious parents out of a wedding reception. It warms the cockles of my cold, cold heart to picture those miscreants at the curb, wondering what just happened.
In reality, it would be more embarrassing to the parents, and other guests, than neglecting the etiquette rule that the kids have to be invited to the wedding because they were invited to the engagement party. Can't we get an exception, based on the rule that the goal of good etiquette is based on making others feel comfortable? I'll understand if you say no.
Hi @ready2rock88. Welcome to TK.
I'm curious about your reasoning on the bolded statement. There is no rule of etiquette that says children are an all or none deal. Inviting in circles is the safest way to go, for instance - only the siblings' and cousins' children. Now, if said bratty child is a sibling's child or cousin, there's probably going to be hell to pay if he is the only child from the family not invited. They'll probably have to suck it up and hope for the best. If it's a friend's child, they can leave him and his siblings out, without violating any etiquette rules. While it may be more diplomatic to not invite any of the friends's kids, It doesn't seem fair to exclude all the kids just because one is naughty.