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Wedding Woes
mrsconn23
member
If you don't want an open relationship, you don't want one.
in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,
I met a new guy online, and on the second date he told me he is bisexual. I am OK with it overall, but he wants to have a guy on the side or find someone else to bring into our bed. I am really looking for a long-term relationship. Should I just let this one go, even though everything else is great, or should I consider allowing him to explore relationships with men? I am not sure about bringing someone else into our bed; it has never been something I was interested in.
–Two Is Plenty
Re: If you don't want an open relationship, you don't want one.
Then move on.
Seriously. It's been two dates. How much easier could it be?
I met someone, and we don't want the same things in a relationship. Do I have to keep dating him?
You don't even need to decide to have sex with someone after the second date.
First off, kudos to the guy for mentioning all of that very early in the relationship.
Let me tell you why he did, LW. So that if you weren't cool with it, neither of you wasted any time/feelings.
Seriously? There were times I didn't accept a third date from someone for far less.
Then again, since there are apparently only four men where you live, he might have a hard time finding a male side piece anyway.
This, exactly.
I wonder if LW is conflating not being OK with an open relationship/threesome situation with not being OK with his bisexuality.
In a nod to this letter, let me share my funniest dealbreaker story.
Back when I was online dating, I exchanged a few messages back and forth with this one person who had responded to my ad.
In the second message, he warns me that he loves to video stream his life for the internet. That he has live video cameras in every room of his house. So he wanted to let me know, in case we got involved and I wasn't cool with that.
I was most decidedly not cool with that, lol. I sent a message back, thanking him for telling me, and letting him know that wasn't a situation I would be comfortable with. And wished him luck on his search. He replied back that he totally understood, which is why he tells people very early on, and wished me luck with my search.
All in all, a lovely exchange between two people who were obviously not right for each other. That's the way it should work.
Part ways. Hell even ghosting wouldn't be side-eyed that early on, for me. Yeesh.
Such as - we've only been on 2 dates, I'm not into it so how do I let him down without being rude?