I know a few people who lost babies on the late end as well - my aunt lost a baby in the 37 or so week range, and a friend lost a bay in the 25 or so week range - which resulted in a hemorrhage, followed by a complete emergency hysterectomy - she lost the baby and nearly died in the process.
I'm not saying it's a generational thing - I just think that the LW sounds like she is beyond socially awkward and completely misinformed about pregnancy - maybe to the point of an Asperger's/autism diagnosis in terms of social experience. (I'm not a doctor).
FWIW, I would probably be classified as an "early" millennial, and I think the entire thing is bullshit. You can't lump people born in the early 80s with people born in the late 90s. There's way too much difference.
Great, now we're neurodiverse-bashing. I have two good friends whose husbands have Asperger's and another friend who is autistic (she identifies that way and hates person-first language), and they know what to do in situations like that. When we postponed the wedding, our autistic friend was actually one of the kindest, most empathetic people, wanting to know if we were OK.
Go ahead and tell me that I'm being overly sensitive. I'm just over bashing in general. I'm very aware of my internal prejudices, and I do my utmost not to speak or act on them.
Mentioning Asperger's in the same sentence as being socially awkward is not bashing. It's quite well known that people on the ASD spectrum and with Asperger's are socially awkward.
I know a few people who lost babies on the late end as well - my aunt lost a baby in the 37 or so week range, and a friend lost a bay in the 25 or so week range - which resulted in a hemorrhage, followed by a complete emergency hysterectomy - she lost the baby and nearly died in the process.
I'm not saying it's a generational thing - I just think that the LW sounds like she is beyond socially awkward and completely misinformed about pregnancy - maybe to the point of an Asperger's/autism diagnosis in terms of social experience. (I'm not a doctor).
FWIW, I would probably be classified as an "early" millennial, and I think the entire thing is bullshit. You can't lump people born in the early 80s with people born in the late 90s. There's way too much difference.
Great, now we're neurodiverse-bashing. I have two good friends whose husbands have Asperger's and another friend who is autistic (she identifies that way and hates person-first language), and they know what to do in situations like that. When we postponed the wedding, our autistic friend was actually one of the kindest, most empathetic people, wanting to know if we were OK.
Go ahead and tell me that I'm being overly sensitive. I'm just over bashing in general. I'm very aware of my internal prejudices, and I do my utmost not to speak or act on them.
Mentioning Asperger's in the same sentence as being socially awkward is not bashing. It's quite well known that people on the ASD spectrum and with Asperger's are socially awkward.
I have a friend and M has a friend - both are Aspergers. Both are socially awkward. I would typically figure those who have Aspergers are typically socially awkward. It's not bashing, it's just a fact for a good portion of those who are dealing with it. Some aren't as bad as others. If it was said rudely, then yes it would be bashing.
I know a few people who lost babies on the late end as well - my aunt lost a baby in the 37 or so week range, and a friend lost a bay in the 25 or so week range - which resulted in a hemorrhage, followed by a complete emergency hysterectomy - she lost the baby and nearly died in the process.
I'm not saying it's a generational thing - I just think that the LW sounds like she is beyond socially awkward and completely misinformed about pregnancy - maybe to the point of an Asperger's/autism diagnosis in terms of social experience. (I'm not a doctor).
FWIW, I would probably be classified as an "early" millennial, and I think the entire thing is bullshit. You can't lump people born in the early 80s with people born in the late 90s. There's way too much difference.
Great, now we're neurodiverse-bashing. I have two good friends whose husbands have Asperger's and another friend who is autistic (she identifies that way and hates person-first language), and they know what to do in situations like that. When we postponed the wedding, our autistic friend was actually one of the kindest, most empathetic people, wanting to know if we were OK.
Go ahead and tell me that I'm being overly sensitive. I'm just over bashing in general. I'm very aware of my internal prejudices, and I do my utmost not to speak or act on them.
Mentioning Asperger's in the same sentence as being socially awkward is not bashing. It's quite well known that people on the ASD spectrum and with Asperger's are socially awkward.
I think the point is you (general you) can't (and shouldn't) assume one thing to be necessarily related to the other. Some people who have ASD's lack social awareness, some people who have ASD's do not lack social issues, and just because someone lacks social skills does not mean we can/should assume/proscribe that they have ASD.
I know a few people who lost babies on the late end as well - my aunt lost a baby in the 37 or so week range, and a friend lost a bay in the 25 or so week range - which resulted in a hemorrhage, followed by a complete emergency hysterectomy - she lost the baby and nearly died in the process.
I'm not saying it's a generational thing - I just think that the LW sounds like she is beyond socially awkward and completely misinformed about pregnancy - maybe to the point of an Asperger's/autism diagnosis in terms of social experience. (I'm not a doctor).
FWIW, I would probably be classified as an "early" millennial, and I think the entire thing is bullshit. You can't lump people born in the early 80s with people born in the late 90s. There's way too much difference.
Great, now we're neurodiverse-bashing. I have two good friends whose husbands have Asperger's and another friend who is autistic (she identifies that way and hates person-first language), and they know what to do in situations like that. When we postponed the wedding, our autistic friend was actually one of the kindest, most empathetic people, wanting to know if we were OK.
Go ahead and tell me that I'm being overly sensitive. I'm just over bashing in general. I'm very aware of my internal prejudices, and I do my utmost not to speak or act on them.
Mentioning Asperger's in the same sentence as being socially awkward is not bashing. It's quite well known that people on the ASD spectrum and with Asperger's are socially awkward.
I think the point is you (general you) can't (and shouldn't) assume one thing to be necessarily related to the other. Some people who have ASD's lack social awareness, some people who have ASD's do not lack social issues, and just because someone lacks social skills does not mean we can/should assume/proscribe that they have ASD.
She wasn't diagnosing, though. She just said the social awkwardness was to the point of Asperger's/ASD.
I know a few people who lost babies on the late end as well - my aunt lost a baby in the 37 or so week range, and a friend lost a bay in the 25 or so week range - which resulted in a hemorrhage, followed by a complete emergency hysterectomy - she lost the baby and nearly died in the process.
I'm not saying it's a generational thing - I just think that the LW sounds like she is beyond socially awkward and completely misinformed about pregnancy - maybe to the point of an Asperger's/autism diagnosis in terms of social experience. (I'm not a doctor).
FWIW, I would probably be classified as an "early" millennial, and I think the entire thing is bullshit. You can't lump people born in the early 80s with people born in the late 90s. There's way too much difference.
Great, now we're neurodiverse-bashing. I have two good friends whose husbands have Asperger's and another friend who is autistic (she identifies that way and hates person-first language), and they know what to do in situations like that. When we postponed the wedding, our autistic friend was actually one of the kindest, most empathetic people, wanting to know if we were OK.
Go ahead and tell me that I'm being overly sensitive. I'm just over bashing in general. I'm very aware of my internal prejudices, and I do my utmost not to speak or act on them.
Mentioning Asperger's in the same sentence as being socially awkward is not bashing. It's quite well known that people on the ASD spectrum and with Asperger's are socially awkward.
I think the point is you (general you) can't (and shouldn't) assume one thing to be necessarily related to the other. Some people who have ASD's lack social awareness, some people who have ASD's do not lack social issues, and just because someone lacks social skills does not mean we can/should assume/proscribe that they have ASD.
She wasn't diagnosing, though. She just said the social awkwardness was to the point of Asperger's/ASD.
But again extreme awkwardness not the same things as ASD. Some people who have extreme social awkwardness don't have ASD and some people who have ASD do not have extreme (or even moderate) social awkwardness. It's the assumption the social issues are, even the extreme, signs of ASD, or the people with ASD also have extreme social issues is the problem. It's like when you get to a point of extreme social awkwardness it's means you have ASD. No.
Not all people with social issues have ASD, not all people with ASD have social issues; conflating the two is ignorant of the realities many people live with and to many people, offensive.
ETA: An example because I don't think I was very clear. My H is an introvert. Like an extreme introvert. He has to talk himself up for social interaction. He often asks me about how to bring up things to people/phrase things. He hates small talk and often just doesn't engage. He can be very socially awkward. He does not have ASD. There may be times someone might think he is really socially unaware and that's fair, but he has no other indicators of ASD. So it would be incorrect to suggest that because he is socially awkward that he has ASD. And it might be offensive to people with ASD to assume/suggest my H also has ASD based on one variable that is found on the spectrum.
This letter ticked me off, probably because I'm pregnant right now. My boss was the second person to learn of my pregnancy besides DH. You better believe if I'm falling down on the job I wanted her to know why. That goes both ways- if the boss has a serious medical issue of any kind, it's responsible (and yet still entirely a personal choice) to clue in the people potentially most impacted by job performance issues.
I know a few people who lost babies on the late end as well - my aunt lost a baby in the 37 or so week range, and a friend lost a bay in the 25 or so week range - which resulted in a hemorrhage, followed by a complete emergency hysterectomy - she lost the baby and nearly died in the process.
I'm not saying it's a generational thing - I just think that the LW sounds like she is beyond socially awkward and completely misinformed about pregnancy - maybe to the point of an Asperger's/autism diagnosis in terms of social experience. (I'm not a doctor).
FWIW, I would probably be classified as an "early" millennial, and I think the entire thing is bullshit. You can't lump people born in the early 80s with people born in the late 90s. There's way too much difference.
Great, now we're neurodiverse-bashing. I have two good friends whose husbands have Asperger's and another friend who is autistic (she identifies that way and hates person-first language), and they know what to do in situations like that. When we postponed the wedding, our autistic friend was actually one of the kindest, most empathetic people, wanting to know if we were OK.
Go ahead and tell me that I'm being overly sensitive. I'm just over bashing in general. I'm very aware of my internal prejudices, and I do my utmost not to speak or act on them.
You're being overly sensitive.
I'm not bashing people on the "autism spectrum" - just saying that IMH (non-medical)O that this seems like a pretty extreme thing for a person to obsess over, making me think that there's something deeper happening.
I don't get this. Like, if someone told me they were pregnant at five weeks (barring a close friend/family member), I'd be like well that's early. And then I'd move on, because who cares? I was in my early-mid 20s when one of my coworkers got pregnant. People had been speculating for months about it. Whenever they tried to gossip about it with me I'd just say "maybe, maybe not. But it's not our business and if she is pregnant she'll tell us when she is ready." Same coworker had been trying to get pregnant for years. She lost the baby in her second trimester and took some leave. When she came back I said I was so sorry for her loss, and then I resumed a professional relationship with her. Who are these people that make basic adulting so difficult? Also: I am a millennial and consider myself socially awkward. But I work through it because, duh, life and adulting.
I'm not bashing people on the "autism spectrum" - just saying that IMH (non-medical)O that this seems like a pretty extreme thing for a person to obsess over, making me think that there's something deeper happening.
PERsonally, I dislike this sort of thing because it waters down diagnostic language, and makes there 2 definitions to a word--the 'science/medical' one, and the colloquial one. It's always nice to be aware of the stuff other people deal with, but "might be aspie" doesn't really raise awareness as much as it just labels people willy nilly.
It happens with "oh, she's so OCD" or "wow, how ADD" or the like--and I find myself explaining that the popular view of ADD and te reality of ADD are miles apart--and the fact that people *think* they know what these things are, because of how they're commonly understood is harder than if they were less aware of ADD's existence in the first place.
I know a few people who lost babies on the late end as well - my aunt lost a baby in the 37 or so week range, and a friend lost a bay in the 25 or so week range - which resulted in a hemorrhage, followed by a complete emergency hysterectomy - she lost the baby and nearly died in the process.
I'm not saying it's a generational thing - I just think that the LW sounds like she is beyond socially awkward and completely misinformed about pregnancy - maybe to the point of an Asperger's/autism diagnosis in terms of social experience. (I'm not a doctor).
FWIW, I would probably be classified as an "early" millennial, and I think the entire thing is bullshit. You can't lump people born in the early 80s with people born in the late 90s. There's way too much difference.
Great, now we're neurodiverse-bashing. I have two good friends whose husbands have Asperger's and another friend who is autistic (she identifies that way and hates person-first language), and they know what to do in situations like that. When we postponed the wedding, our autistic friend was actually one of the kindest, most empathetic people, wanting to know if we were OK.
Go ahead and tell me that I'm being overly sensitive. I'm just over bashing in general. I'm very aware of my internal prejudices, and I do my utmost not to speak or act on them.
Mentioning Asperger's in the same sentence as being socially awkward is not bashing. It's quite well known that people on the ASD spectrum and with Asperger's are socially awkward.
I think the point is you (general you) can't (and shouldn't) assume one thing to be necessarily related to the other. Some people who have ASD's lack social awareness, some people who have ASD's do not lack social issues, and just because someone lacks social skills does not mean we can/should assume/proscribe that they have ASD.
She wasn't diagnosing, though. She just said the social awkwardness was to the point of Asperger's/ASD.
How is that not diagnosing? It is a problem when people like "bad thing" with "must be a mental health thing."
I know a few people who lost babies on the late end as well - my aunt lost a baby in the 37 or so week range, and a friend lost a bay in the 25 or so week range - which resulted in a hemorrhage, followed by a complete emergency hysterectomy - she lost the baby and nearly died in the process.
I'm not saying it's a generational thing - I just think that the LW sounds like she is beyond socially awkward and completely misinformed about pregnancy - maybe to the point of an Asperger's/autism diagnosis in terms of social experience. (I'm not a doctor).
FWIW, I would probably be classified as an "early" millennial, and I think the entire thing is bullshit. You can't lump people born in the early 80s with people born in the late 90s. There's way too much difference.
Great, now we're neurodiverse-bashing. I have two good friends whose husbands have Asperger's and another friend who is autistic (she identifies that way and hates person-first language), and they know what to do in situations like that. When we postponed the wedding, our autistic friend was actually one of the kindest, most empathetic people, wanting to know if we were OK.
Go ahead and tell me that I'm being overly sensitive. I'm just over bashing in general. I'm very aware of my internal prejudices, and I do my utmost not to speak or act on them.
You're being overly sensitive.
I'm not bashing people on the "autism spectrum" - just saying that IMH (non-medical)O that this seems like a pretty extreme thing for a person to obsess over, making me think that there's something deeper happening.
If you're not a doctor, and you're not this person's doctor, then don't diagnose them. If you mean "this seems like an extreme overreaction that makes me think something deeper is happening" say that instead of armchair diagnosing.
I'm not bashing people on the "autism spectrum" - just saying that IMH (non-medical)O that this seems like a pretty extreme thing for a person to obsess over, making me think that there's something deeper happening.
PERsonally, I dislike this sort of thing because it waters down diagnostic language, and makes there 2 definitions to a word--the 'science/medical' one, and the colloquial one. It's always nice to be aware of the stuff other people deal with, but "might be aspie" doesn't really raise awareness as much as it just labels people willy nilly.
It happens with "oh, she's so OCD" or "wow, how ADD" or the like--and I find myself explaining that the popular view of ADD and te reality of ADD are miles apart--and the fact that people *think* they know what these things are, because of how they're commonly understood is harder than if they were less aware of ADD's existence in the first place.
GBCK, you took the words right out of my brain. Maybe she's socially awkward. Maybe she has undiagnosed ASD. Maybe she's a selfish jackface. Nowhere near enough info to know.
This letter ticked me off, probably because I'm pregnant right now. My boss was the second person to learn of my pregnancy besides DH. You better believe if I'm falling down on the job I wanted her to know why. That goes both ways- if the boss has a serious medical issue of any kind, it's responsible (and yet still entirely a personal choice) to clue in the people potentially most impacted by job performance issues.
M and I have talked, and my work is likely going to be second or third {depending when I see my mum} to know. We're a small office, so it'll be obvious and more time to figure out arrangements if I'm off for a year.
A few years ago, a colleague mentioned that his wife was pregnant. When asked how far along she was, he said "about six weeks". I thought it seemed an early announcement, but it was clear that he was excited to share his happy news! It is equally clear that LW's boss announced early to prevent confusion surrounding the change in her behaviour (eg napping, losing focus). Very simple.
Sadly, my colleague's wife suffered a miscarriage. He did not announce this, I realized it after many months had passed with no further mention of a pregnancy or birth. He did not say anything, so I did not say anything, but they were in my thoughts.
A few months ago, he began talking about his wife's new pregnancy, and they welcomed a baby in May.
LW sounds like she never had "Baby 101" in school. Boss lady needs to get her TSH/T3 tested STAT.
LW needs to become educated on pregnancy realities and grow some compassion. When to announce is determined by the couple themselves, not LW's arbitrary date. I was hospitalized with both of my pregnancies at certain points including being put on modified bedrest then had a "DB" Nun of all people to treat me like it was in my head. People like LW annoy me after that...
I know a few people who lost babies on the late end as well - my aunt lost a baby in the 37 or so week range, and a friend lost a bay in the 25 or so week range - which resulted in a hemorrhage, followed by a complete emergency hysterectomy - she lost the baby and nearly died in the process.
I'm not saying it's a generational thing - I just think that the LW sounds like she is beyond socially awkward and completely misinformed about pregnancy - maybe to the point of an Asperger's/autism diagnosis in terms of social experience. (I'm not a doctor).
FWIW, I would probably be classified as an "early" millennial, and I think the entire thing is bullshit. You can't lump people born in the early 80s with people born in the late 90s. There's way too much difference.
Great, now we're neurodiverse-bashing. I have two good friends whose husbands have Asperger's and another friend who is autistic (she identifies that way and hates person-first language), and they know what to do in situations like that. When we postponed the wedding, our autistic friend was actually one of the kindest, most empathetic people, wanting to know if we were OK.
Go ahead and tell me that I'm being overly sensitive. I'm just over bashing in general. I'm very aware of my internal prejudices, and I do my utmost not to speak or act on them.
Mentioning Asperger's in the same sentence as being socially awkward is not bashing. It's quite well known that people on the ASD spectrum and with Asperger's are socially awkward.
I have a friend and M has a friend - both are Aspergers. Both are socially awkward. I would typically figure those who have Aspergers are typically socially awkward. It's not bashing, it's just a fact for a good portion of those who are dealing with it. Some aren't as bad as others. If it was said rudely, then yes it would be bashing.
Armchair diagnosing is problematic at best, and misinformative at worst.
But can I just point out that people ARE NOT their diagnosis. I don't know if this was a typo or just a shortening of "are on the spectrum" or what, but it totally raised my eyebrows when I read it.
I know a few people who lost babies on the late end as well - my aunt lost a baby in the 37 or so week range, and a friend lost a bay in the 25 or so week range - which resulted in a hemorrhage, followed by a complete emergency hysterectomy - she lost the baby and nearly died in the process.
I'm not saying it's a generational thing - I just think that the LW sounds like she is beyond socially awkward and completely misinformed about pregnancy - maybe to the point of an Asperger's/autism diagnosis in terms of social experience. (I'm not a doctor).
FWIW, I would probably be classified as an "early" millennial, and I think the entire thing is bullshit. You can't lump people born in the early 80s with people born in the late 90s. There's way too much difference.
Great, now we're neurodiverse-bashing. I have two good friends whose husbands have Asperger's and another friend who is autistic (she identifies that way and hates person-first language), and they know what to do in situations like that. When we postponed the wedding, our autistic friend was actually one of the kindest, most empathetic people, wanting to know if we were OK.
Go ahead and tell me that I'm being overly sensitive. I'm just over bashing in general. I'm very aware of my internal prejudices, and I do my utmost not to speak or act on them.
Mentioning Asperger's in the same sentence as being socially awkward is not bashing. It's quite well known that people on the ASD spectrum and with Asperger's are socially awkward.
I have a friend and M has a friend - both are Aspergers. Both are socially awkward. I would typically figure those who have Aspergers are typically socially awkward. It's not bashing, it's just a fact for a good portion of those who are dealing with it. Some aren't as bad as others. If it was said rudely, then yes it would be bashing.
Armchair diagnosing is problematic at best, and misinformative at worst.
But can I just point out that people ARE NOT their diagnosis. I don't know if this was a typo or just a shortening of "are on the spectrum" or what, but it totally raised my eyebrows when I read it.
I'm not 'armchair diagnosing'. They are both diagnosed from doctors.
Tbh aspergers isn't easy to diagnose. For example, my friend who was diagnosed it took a good portion of her life to figure out what was happening. Like she was diagnosed in her early teens, mainly because her mum wanted to know what was happening with her daughter when the doctors kept saying 'idk what's happening.'
I know a few people who lost babies on the late end as well - my aunt lost a baby in the 37 or so week range, and a friend lost a bay in the 25 or so week range - which resulted in a hemorrhage, followed by a complete emergency hysterectomy - she lost the baby and nearly died in the process.
I'm not saying it's a generational thing - I just think that the LW sounds like she is beyond socially awkward and completely misinformed about pregnancy - maybe to the point of an Asperger's/autism diagnosis in terms of social experience. (I'm not a doctor).
FWIW, I would probably be classified as an "early" millennial, and I think the entire thing is bullshit. You can't lump people born in the early 80s with people born in the late 90s. There's way too much difference.
Great, now we're neurodiverse-bashing. I have two good friends whose husbands have Asperger's and another friend who is autistic (she identifies that way and hates person-first language), and they know what to do in situations like that. When we postponed the wedding, our autistic friend was actually one of the kindest, most empathetic people, wanting to know if we were OK.
Go ahead and tell me that I'm being overly sensitive. I'm just over bashing in general. I'm very aware of my internal prejudices, and I do my utmost not to speak or act on them.
Mentioning Asperger's in the same sentence as being socially awkward is not bashing. It's quite well known that people on the ASD spectrum and with Asperger's are socially awkward.
I have a friend and M has a friend - both are Aspergers. Both are socially awkward. I would typically figure those who have Aspergers are typically socially awkward. It's not bashing, it's just a fact for a good portion of those who are dealing with it. Some aren't as bad as others. If it was said rudely, then yes it would be bashing.
Armchair diagnosing is problematic at best, and misinformative at worst.
But can I just point out that people ARE NOT their diagnosis. I don't know if this was a typo or just a shortening of "are on the spectrum" or what, but it totally raised my eyebrows when I read it.
I'm not 'armchair diagnosing'. They are both diagnosed from doctors.
Tbh aspergers isn't easy to diagnose. For example, my friend who was diagnosed it took a good portion of her life to figure out what was happening. Like she was diagnosed in her early teens, mainly because her mum wanted to know what was happening with her daughter when the doctors kept saying 'idk what's happening.'
Sorry, that wasn't clear....I meant the people armchair diagnosing (or non-diagnosing but still bringing up diagnoses) for the LW.
My main issue was that people are not Aspurgers or any diagnosis. They're people with Aspurgers or managing Aspurgers or whatever, but I think it's really harmful to say people are their diagnosis.
I have a friend and M has a friend - both are Aspergers. Both are socially awkward. I would typically figure those who have Aspergers are typically socially awkward. It's not bashing, it's just a fact for a good portion of those who are dealing with it. Some aren't as bad as others. If it was said rudely, then yes it would be bashing.
Armchair diagnosing is problematic at best, and misinformative at worst.
But can I just point out that people ARE NOT their diagnosis. I don't know if this was a typo or just a shortening of "are on the spectrum" or what, but it totally raised my eyebrows when I read it.
I'm not 'armchair diagnosing'. They are both diagnosed from doctors.
Tbh aspergers isn't easy to diagnose. For example, my friend who was diagnosed it took a good portion of her life to figure out what was happening. Like she was diagnosed in her early teens, mainly because her mum wanted to know what was happening with her daughter when the doctors kept saying 'idk what's happening.'
Sorry, that wasn't clear....I meant the people armchair diagnosing (or non-diagnosing but still bringing up diagnoses) for the LW.
My main issue was that people are not Aspurgers or any diagnosis. They're people with Aspurgers or managing Aspurgers or whatever, but I think it's really harmful to say people are their diagnosis.
Oh my bad! I thought you were referring to me
Tbh given the information, it makes sense. Despite we aren't doctors. But given how LW is reacting, I feel like my friends would react the same.
Does it mean I'm assuming? Maybe, but it just makes sense in the situation give.
I have a friend and M has a friend - both are Aspergers. Both are socially awkward. I would typically figure those who have Aspergers are typically socially awkward. It's not bashing, it's just a fact for a good portion of those who are dealing with it. Some aren't as bad as others. If it was said rudely, then yes it would be bashing.
Armchair diagnosing is problematic at best, and misinformative at worst.
But can I just point out that people ARE NOT their diagnosis. I don't know if this was a typo or just a shortening of "are on the spectrum" or what, but it totally raised my eyebrows when I read it.
I'm not 'armchair diagnosing'. They are both diagnosed from doctors.
Tbh aspergers isn't easy to diagnose. For example, my friend who was diagnosed it took a good portion of her life to figure out what was happening. Like she was diagnosed in her early teens, mainly because her mum wanted to know what was happening with her daughter when the doctors kept saying 'idk what's happening.'
Sorry, that wasn't clear....I meant the people armchair diagnosing (or non-diagnosing but still bringing up diagnoses) for the LW.
My main issue was that people are not Aspurgers or any diagnosis. They're people with Aspurgers or managing Aspurgers or whatever, but I think it's really harmful to say people are their diagnosis.
Oh my bad! I thought you were referring to me
Tbh given the information, it makes sense. Despite we aren't doctors. But given how LW is reacting, I feel like my friends would react the same.
Does it mean I'm assuming? Maybe, but it just makes sense in the situation give.
You're still missing @JediElizabeth's point. You referred to your friends as "Aspergers", rather than as people who have Aspergers. Their disorder does not define them as a whole. They are people first.
I have a friend and M has a friend - both are Aspergers. Both are socially awkward. I would typically figure those who have Aspergers are typically socially awkward. It's not bashing, it's just a fact for a good portion of those who are dealing with it. Some aren't as bad as others. If it was said rudely, then yes it would be bashing.
Armchair diagnosing is problematic at best, and misinformative at worst.
But can I just point out that people ARE NOT their diagnosis. I don't know if this was a typo or just a shortening of "are on the spectrum" or what, but it totally raised my eyebrows when I read it.
I'm not 'armchair diagnosing'. They are both diagnosed from doctors.
Tbh aspergers isn't easy to diagnose. For example, my friend who was diagnosed it took a good portion of her life to figure out what was happening. Like she was diagnosed in her early teens, mainly because her mum wanted to know what was happening with her daughter when the doctors kept saying 'idk what's happening.'
Sorry, that wasn't clear....I meant the people armchair diagnosing (or non-diagnosing but still bringing up diagnoses) for the LW.
My main issue was that people are not Aspurgers or any diagnosis. They're people with Aspurgers or managing Aspurgers or whatever, but I think it's really harmful to say people are their diagnosis.
Oh my bad! I thought you were referring to me
Tbh given the information, it makes sense. Despite we aren't doctors. But given how LW is reacting, I feel like my friends would react the same.
Does it mean I'm assuming? Maybe, but it just makes sense in the situation give.
You're still missing @JediElizabeth's point. You referred to your friends as "Aspergers", rather than as people who have Aspergers. Their disorder does not define them as a whole. They are people first.
I wasn't. I meant it as I have friends who are diagnosed with Aspergers. Also - for reference - Aspergers isn't a spectrum. It's not on the autism spectrum anymore. {it's a recent change fyi}
For reference, for years my friends and I didn't know the official diagnoses of my friend and once we did there was zero change in how we treated her. Only change was understanding why she did the things she did.
I have a friend and M has a friend - both are Aspergers. Both are socially awkward. I would typically figure those who have Aspergers are typically socially awkward. It's not bashing, it's just a fact for a good portion of those who are dealing with it. Some aren't as bad as others. If it was said rudely, then yes it would be bashing.
Armchair diagnosing is problematic at best, and misinformative at worst.
But can I just point out that people ARE NOT their diagnosis. I don't know if this was a typo or just a shortening of "are on the spectrum" or what, but it totally raised my eyebrows when I read it.
I'm not 'armchair diagnosing'. They are both diagnosed from doctors.
Tbh aspergers isn't easy to diagnose. For example, my friend who was diagnosed it took a good portion of her life to figure out what was happening. Like she was diagnosed in her early teens, mainly because her mum wanted to know what was happening with her daughter when the doctors kept saying 'idk what's happening.'
Sorry, that wasn't clear....I meant the people armchair diagnosing (or non-diagnosing but still bringing up diagnoses) for the LW.
My main issue was that people are not Aspurgers or any diagnosis. They're people with Aspurgers or managing Aspurgers or whatever, but I think it's really harmful to say people are their diagnosis.
Oh my bad! I thought you were referring to me
Tbh given the information, it makes sense. Despite we aren't doctors. But given how LW is reacting, I feel like my friends would react the same.
Does it mean I'm assuming? Maybe, but it just makes sense in the situation give.
You're still missing @JediElizabeth's point. You referred to your friends as "Aspergers", rather than as people who have Aspergers. Their disorder does not define them as a whole. They are people first.
I wasn't. I meant it as I have friends who are diagnosed with Aspergers. Also - for reference - Aspergers isn't a spectrum. It's not on the autism spectrum anymore. {it's a recent change fyi}
For reference, for years my friends and I didn't know the official diagnoses of my friend and once we did there was zero change in how we treated her. Only change was understanding why she did the things she did.
Aspergers is absolutely on the spectrum. It doesn't have a separate entry in the most recent DSM because it's now considered part of ASD, which is literally on the spectrum. It is the spectrum.
Sorry, that wasn't clear....I meant the people armchair diagnosing (or non-diagnosing but still bringing up diagnoses) for the LW.
My main issue was that people are not Aspurgers or any diagnosis. They're people with Aspurgers or managing Aspurgers or whatever, but I think it's really harmful to say people are their diagnosis.
Oh my bad! I thought you were referring to me
Tbh given the information, it makes sense. Despite we aren't doctors. But given how LW is reacting, I feel like my friends would react the same.
Does it mean I'm assuming? Maybe, but it just makes sense in the situation give.
You're still missing @JediElizabeth's point. You referred to your friends as "Aspergers", rather than as people who have Aspergers. Their disorder does not define them as a whole. They are people first.
I wasn't. I meant it as I have friends who are diagnosed with Aspergers. Also - for reference - Aspergers isn't a spectrum. It's not on the autism spectrum anymore. {it's a recent change fyi}
For reference, for years my friends and I didn't know the official diagnoses of my friend and once we did there was zero change in how we treated her. Only change was understanding why she did the things she did.
Aspergers is absolutely on the spectrum. It doesn't have a separate entry in the most recent DSM because it's now considered part of ASD, which is literally on the spectrum. It is the spectrum.
Asperger syndrome is one of several previously separate subtypes of autism that were folded into the single diagnosis autism spectrum disorder (ASD) with the publication of the DSM-5 diagnostic manual in 2013.
Aspergers is absolutely on the spectrum. It doesn't have a separate entry in the most recent DSM because it's now considered part of ASD, which is literally on the spectrum. It is the spectrum.
I didn't know it was on the spectrum. I had to look it up. It was apparently added in 2013.
Aspergers is absolutely on the spectrum. It doesn't have a separate entry in the most recent DSM because it's now considered part of ASD, which is literally on the spectrum. It is the spectrum.
I didn't know it was on the spectrum. I had to look it up. It was apparently added in 2013.
I guess I'm misunderstanding .... because what I got was that it was separate from the autism spectrum
I guess I'm misunderstanding .... because what I got was that it was separate from the autism spectrum
Asperger syndrome is one of several previously separate subtypes of autism that were folded into the single diagnosis autism spectrum disorder (ASD) with the publication of the DSM-5 diagnostic manual in 2013. Asperger syndrome was generally considered to be on the “high functioning” end of the spectrum.
I guess I'm misunderstanding .... because what I got was that it was separate from the autism spectrum
Asperger syndrome is one of several previously separate subtypes of autism that were folded into the single diagnosis autism spectrum disorder (ASD) with the publication of the DSM-5 diagnostic manual in 2013. Asperger syndrome was generally considered to be on the “high functioning” end of the spectrum.
Re: I've read this 3 times and still don't understand exactly what the LW wants.
YES! Lmao!
Mentioning Asperger's in the same sentence as being socially awkward is not bashing. It's quite well known that people on the ASD spectrum and with Asperger's are socially awkward.
I have a friend and M has a friend - both are Aspergers. Both are socially awkward.
I would typically figure those who have Aspergers are typically socially awkward. It's not bashing, it's just a fact for a good portion of those who are dealing with it. Some aren't as bad as others.
If it was said rudely, then yes it would be bashing.
I think the point is you (general you) can't (and shouldn't) assume one thing to be necessarily related to the other. Some people who have ASD's lack social awareness, some people who have ASD's do not lack social issues, and just because someone lacks social skills does not mean we can/should assume/proscribe that they have ASD.
She wasn't diagnosing, though. She just said the social awkwardness was to the point of Asperger's/ASD.
But again extreme awkwardness not the same things as ASD. Some people who have extreme social awkwardness don't have ASD and some people who have ASD do not have extreme (or even moderate) social awkwardness. It's the assumption the social issues are, even the extreme, signs of ASD, or the people with ASD also have extreme social issues is the problem. It's like when you get to a point of extreme social awkwardness it's means you have ASD. No.
Not all people with social issues have ASD, not all people with ASD have social issues; conflating the two is ignorant of the realities many people live with and to many people, offensive.
ETA: An example because I don't think I was very clear. My H is an introvert. Like an extreme introvert. He has to talk himself up for social interaction. He often asks me about how to bring up things to people/phrase things. He hates small talk and often just doesn't engage. He can be very socially awkward. He does not have ASD. There may be times someone might think he is really socially unaware and that's fair, but he has no other indicators of ASD. So it would be incorrect to suggest that because he is socially awkward that he has ASD. And it might be offensive to people with ASD to assume/suggest my H also has ASD based on one variable that is found on the spectrum.
I'm not bashing people on the "autism spectrum" - just saying that IMH (non-medical)O that this seems like a pretty extreme thing for a person to obsess over, making me think that there's something deeper happening.
PERsonally, I dislike this sort of thing because it waters down diagnostic language, and makes there 2 definitions to a word--the 'science/medical' one, and the colloquial one. It's always nice to be aware of the stuff other people deal with, but "might be aspie" doesn't really raise awareness as much as it just labels people willy nilly.
It happens with "oh, she's so OCD" or "wow, how ADD" or the like--and I find myself explaining that the popular view of ADD and te reality of ADD are miles apart--and the fact that people *think* they know what these things are, because of how they're commonly understood is harder than if they were less aware of ADD's existence in the first place.
How is that not diagnosing? It is a problem when people like "bad thing" with "must be a mental health thing."
If you're not a doctor, and you're not this person's doctor, then don't diagnose them. If you mean "this seems like an extreme overreaction that makes me think something deeper is happening" say that instead of armchair diagnosing.
Youre not being sensitive enough.
GBCK, you took the words right out of my brain. Maybe she's socially awkward. Maybe she has undiagnosed ASD. Maybe she's a selfish jackface. Nowhere near enough info to know.
M and I have talked, and my work is likely going to be second or third {depending when I see my mum} to know. We're a small office, so it'll be obvious and more time to figure out arrangements if I'm off for a year.
A few years ago, a colleague mentioned that his wife was pregnant. When asked how far along she was, he said "about six weeks". I thought it seemed an early announcement, but it was clear that he was excited to share his happy news! It is equally clear that LW's boss announced early to prevent confusion surrounding the change in her behaviour (eg napping, losing focus). Very simple.
Sadly, my colleague's wife suffered a miscarriage. He did not announce this, I realized it after many months had passed with no further mention of a pregnancy or birth. He did not say anything, so I did not say anything, but they were in my thoughts.
A few months ago, he began talking about his wife's new pregnancy, and they welcomed a baby in May.
LW needs to become educated on pregnancy realities and grow some compassion. When to announce is determined by the couple themselves, not LW's arbitrary date. I was hospitalized with both of my pregnancies at certain points including being put on modified bedrest then had a "DB" Nun of all people to treat me like it was in my head. People like LW annoy me after that...
But can I just point out that people ARE NOT their diagnosis. I don't know if this was a typo or just a shortening of "are on the spectrum" or what, but it totally raised my eyebrows when I read it.
I'm not 'armchair diagnosing'. They are both diagnosed from doctors.
Tbh aspergers isn't easy to diagnose. For example, my friend who was diagnosed it took a good portion of her life to figure out what was happening. Like she was diagnosed in her early teens, mainly because her mum wanted to know what was happening with her daughter when the doctors kept saying 'idk what's happening.'
Sorry, that wasn't clear....I meant the people armchair diagnosing (or non-diagnosing but still bringing up diagnoses) for the LW.
My main issue was that people are not Aspurgers or any diagnosis. They're people with Aspurgers or managing Aspurgers or whatever, but I think it's really harmful to say people are their diagnosis.
Oh my bad! I thought you were referring to me
Tbh given the information, it makes sense. Despite we aren't doctors. But given how LW is reacting, I feel like my friends would react the same.
Does it mean I'm assuming? Maybe, but it just makes sense in the situation give.
You're still missing @JediElizabeth's point. You referred to your friends as "Aspergers", rather than as people who have Aspergers. Their disorder does not define them as a whole. They are people first.
I wasn't. I meant it as I have friends who are diagnosed with Aspergers.
Also - for reference - Aspergers isn't a spectrum. It's not on the autism spectrum anymore. {it's a recent change fyi}
For reference, for years my friends and I didn't know the official diagnoses of my friend and once we did there was zero change in how we treated her. Only change was understanding why she did the things she did.
Aspergers is absolutely on the spectrum. It doesn't have a separate entry in the most recent DSM because it's now considered part of ASD, which is literally on the spectrum. It is the spectrum.
Asperger syndrome is one of several previously separate subtypes of autism that were folded into the single diagnosis autism spectrum disorder (ASD) with the publication of the DSM-5 diagnostic manual in 2013.
https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/asperger-syndrome
I didn't know it was on the spectrum. I had to look it up. It was apparently added in 2013.
I guess I'm misunderstanding .... because what I got was that it was separate from the autism spectrum
Asperger syndrome is one of several previously separate subtypes of autism that were folded into the single diagnosis autism spectrum disorder (ASD) with the publication of the DSM-5 diagnostic manual in 2013. Asperger syndrome was generally considered to be on the “high functioning” end of the spectrum.
From autismspeaks.org
This.