Thursday!

lyndausvi · August 2017

So my mom's BP is not stable. It dropped to 77/43 at one point. She is still in ICU. They are running a bunch of tests to see what is up.

I, of course, have a member hike today that takes me out of service. Doctors haven't been in yet, so it will be late this afternoon before I hear anything.

A little family drama is brewing. My oldest niece just graduated from nursing school in June. My brother (her dad) asked for her to be included in the family group text. My dad said "no". He didn't go into detail, but my parents have always been "fair". The group text has always been just him and the kids. Period. No in-laws, no friends, none of my mom's siblings. Just the 5 of us. That doesn't mean he hasn't been communicating with others, it's just that what we know is more than others.

I'm guessing dad thinks that K being a nurse doesn't give her special privileges within the family dynamic. My father thinks that if he includes her, then he needs to include the other grandkids (all but one is over 18 and the one not is 15).

Plus I have a cousin who is also a nurse who's parents always filled her in on things and not the other kids, Harbored some resentment within the family. This cousin is also a know-it-all and has very strong opinions on things to the point it hurts not helps. By the way she talks you would think she is a doctor and specialist at all things medical. Which even a doctor doesn't give advice on something they doesn't specialize in.

My niece, while still a new nurse, has those some of those same know-it-all traits. I think dad and mom want to treat her as a grandkid, just like the others. Not a nurse. If that makes sense.

Well, you all have a good day. I'm off to hike. At least that puts me in a good mood.

banana468 · August 2017

lyndausvi said:

So my mom's BP is not stable. It dropped to 77/43 at one point. She is still in ICU. They are running a bunch of tests to see what is up.

I, of course, have a member hike today that takes me out of service. Doctors haven't been in yet, so it will be late this afternoon before I hear anything.

A little family drama is brewing. My oldest niece just graduated from nursing school in June. My brother (her dad) asked for her to be included in the family group text. My dad said "no". He didn't go into detail, but my parents have always been "fair". The group text has always been just him and the kids. Period. No in-laws, no friends, none of my mom's siblings. Just the 5 of us. That doesn't mean he hasn't been communicating with others, it's just that what we know is more than others.

I'm guessing dad thinks that K being a nurse doesn't give her special privileges within the family dynamic. My father thinks that if he includes her, then he needs to include the other grandkids (all but one is over 18 and the one not is 15).

Plus I have a cousin who is also a nurse who's parents always filled her in on things and not the other kids, Harbored some resentment within the family. This cousin is also a know-it-all and has very strong opinions on things to the point it hurts not helps. By the way she talks you would think she is a doctor and specialist at all things medical. Which even a doctor doesn't give advice on something they doesn't specialize in.

My niece, while still a new nurse, has those some of those same know-it-all traits. I think dad and mom want to treat her as a grandkid, just like the others. Not a nurse. If that makes sense.

Well, you all have a good day. I'm off to hike. At least that puts me in a good mood.

Same niece with the difficult parents?

Good luck with your mom Lynda. I hope things stabilize soon and emotions settle with everything.

charlotte989875 · August 2017

Good luck @lyndausvi. I'd say your dad decides who gets what info and everyone else has to deal. Also my moms a nurse and can get pretty know it all with health things. Hopefully the hike is relaxing and gives you some time to decompress.

MissKittyDanger · August 2017

@lyndausvi keep us posted on your mum

Also that's just .... odd about not including your niece in group text. Is it possible that your niece is in 'know-it-all' phase because she's just learned everything and it's pretty fresh? That'd be my guess.

Ended up taking test this morning. Again negative.
Did you know it's possible to be pregnant and have negative pee and blood tests? Some women don't always produce enough hcg to have it show up.
Ah well ... all will be figured out on Tuesday {pending my period doesn't oddly show up between now and then} and I'm gonna ask the nurse to ask my dr what to do if the test is negative with them ....

SSDD at work - mainly filing likely.
I'm so disappointed. We were excited for dinner last night. M made a marinade and it smelt soooo good, but the recipe he followed asked for seasoning salt. Food ended up being too salty

Also mine ended up touching his on the bbq, and he'd put a spicy rub on. Blegh ...

Groceries tonight. Idk what else. I may make an appt to get a fancy pedicure on my bday next week {a week today - crazy!} It's like $48 or something, but you get all these perks with it. So we'll see.

charlotte989875 · August 2017

So glad it's Thursday, I'm ready for the long weekend like I've never been ready for a long weekend before. Exhausted this morning, H I stayed up too late (for some amazing BCBC so it was worth it) and we both were dragging this morning.

Yay for Prudie Day!

charlotte989875 · August 2017

MissKittyDanger said:

Ended up taking test this morning. Again negative.
Did you know it's possible to be pregnant and have negative pee and blood tests? Some women don't always produce enough hcg to have it show up.
Ah well ... all will be figured out on Tuesday {pending my period doesn't oddly show up between now and then} and I'm gonna ask the nurse to ask my dr what to do if the test is negative with them ....

How long have you guys been trying (not to get too personal here)?

MissKittyDanger · August 2017

charlotte989875 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

Ended up taking test this morning. Again negative.
Did you know it's possible to be pregnant and have negative pee and blood tests? Some women don't always produce enough hcg to have it show up.
Ah well ... all will be figured out on Tuesday {pending my period doesn't oddly show up between now and then} and I'm gonna ask the nurse to ask my dr what to do if the test is negative with them ....

How long have you guys been trying (not to get too personal here)?

Not person. Since July.
I went off bcp at end of June, then basically started then.

edit
for reference it was a low dose hormone. My dr advised not going off until we were ready, because she saw no issue on it taking extra time since I could already tell from my body that I was ovulating.

mrsconn23 · August 2017

I think your dad is right to keep the group text just between you all. Your brother can talk to his daughter separately about your mom's condition and either have her text your dad with anything helpful or share any information that he gets from her with the group.

A HS friend's baby had successful heart surgery yesterday. She was born with a defect and is not even 6 months old. They wanted to wait a little longer I think, but she was struggling so much. The difference in her post-op pics vs. before surgery are striking, even with all the tubes and machines.

We went out to dinner last night with DH's aunt (the crazy one) and her H. They are in the drag racing world (he's a software developer and drives a car) and the US Nationals are here this weekend (damn near down the street from us) and they wanted to see us. It was a good dinner. I got to drink a lot of beer and they paid.

Still sitting on the big 'news' because I don't want to jinx it, but I may have an update as early as tomorrow.

Today is my Friday. Haven't packed a stitch for camping. There's a giant pile of laundry on my couch. I think we're sleeping in FIL's camper, so we may not need to bring a tent and sleeping bags (have to get confirmation from DH). This year is going to be super low-key and our friends are joining us for the first time. I am looking forward to 4 days of a lot of chill time.

kimmiinthemitten · August 2017

@lyndausvi I hope your mom starts bouncing back soon, it's got to be difficult being out of pocket, but hopefully the exercise is a good source of stress relief. MIL is a know it all nurse too. I mean, if your brother wants to keep her in the loop and use her "expertise" what's to stop your niece from just texting/calling her grandfather directly and asking for updates/more information?

I have a Dear Prudie of my own this morning:

I've officially accepted the other job offer with my BFF's company. In a surprise move, they found a way to make my salary work. I'm excited, I hit a plateau at work and really think I'll do well in a management and training role and that's just not available at my job currently, which I respect.

It's a really difficult decision for me. I've been there for 10 years, started to establish a name for myself in the industry, and truly love my coworkers. This is going to be a huge shock for everyone there.

In the interim, I've been working as though nothing is changing and now have a work trip between now and when I will submit my resignation (sales people don't provide notice, you're done the day you resign). I feel like a schmuck for going under these pretenses, but no one at my company knows about said pretenses. I plan on providing my resignation two weeks after the trip. I need to find a way to separate my emotions from what I know is just business.

charlotte989875 · August 2017

@kimmiinthemitten I felt the same way in the time between when I was looking/actively interviewing/had an offer and resigning. I knew I was leaving, that no counteroffer they made would keep me there, and the longer I waited the harder it would be for them to find my replacement. My sister gave me great advice: You don't owe them anything else than the norms in your field, and you have to do what's right for you and your career. They're not going to waste anytime working to replace you.

Harsh, but in my case it helped me see that while I had emotional ties to the institution and they appreciated my work, they weren't going to be pining for me if I left. Helped me separate the business from the personal.

CharmedPam · August 2017

@lyndausvi, hope you have better news when you come back from your hike.
@misskittydanger, do that fancy pedicure! it's your birthday (or soon will be), and a girl's gotta treat herself once and awhile, right?
@mrsconn23, have fun camping this weekend!
@kimmiinthemitten, congrats on accepting the new job. You do your thing. We have our salespeople leave the day of resignation as well, so there's nothing you can do but "business as usual".

Last night's tapas was AMAZING. DH has never had tapas but he doesn't eat a whole lot so I think he'd actually like it. And while it LOOKS like small portions, it really fills you up quickly. Last night DH and I booked a night at a haunted B&B Inn/hotel in Missouri. We were looking for local ghost investigations, but everything was either a rip off or required a flight. This place was perfect for us and our own private investigation AND yet cheaper than going where were initially planned to go before I realized they were making way to much money off of people. So now, all weekends in October are booked up and we should be going out of town for all weekends!

c'mon October.

kimmiinthemitten · August 2017

@charlotte989875 A couple months ago the big boss and I had a long conversation about why I seem different this year. I explained that I'm not happy with my boss and question my longevity with the company. He tried to assure me, and say there may be a position in the coming years. I've already heard all that. Yet, I still think it's going to be a huge shock. And a set back, you can't bring in a salesperson and expect them to sell what I do in the first year. Plus, this leaves them without a specialist.

But you're right, I'm making this decision based on what is right for me professionally, not to stick it to them or anything, even though it slightly will.

MissKittyDanger · August 2017

@CharmedPam my only debate is that it's a place I've never been. Reviews are good so I'm hopeful at least $:\$ You get so much with this pedi! Massage, hot stones, exfoliating scrub, hot towel, paraffin wax .... it's crazy! Plus it'll give my toe a chance to heal a bit {I clipped one too small the other day *sigh*}

mrsconn23 · August 2017

kimmiinthemitten said:

@charlotte989875 A couple months ago the big boss and I had a long conversation about why I seem different this year. I explained that I'm not happy with my boss and question my longevity with the company. He tried to assure me, and say there may be a position in the coming years. I've already heard all that. Yet, I still think it's going to be a huge shock. And a set back, you can't bring in a salesperson and expect them to sell what I do in the first year. Plus, this leaves them without a specialist.

But you're right, I'm making this decision based on what is right for me professionally, not to stick it to them or anything, even though it slightly will.

DH has been here so many times. Lip service doesn't mean shit. It doesn't pay your bills and 'someday' can be 2 years, 5 years, or another 10 years. How long are you supposed to hang on, and be unhappy in the interim, before it pays off?

mrsconn23 · August 2017

@kimmiinthemitten, I sent you a PM.

charlotte989875 · August 2017

It's not like you're going to storm out on the last day like "peace out bitches, sucks to be you all!" @kimmiinthemitten. And it doesn't sound like there's an opening for you to progress there, and maybe not for years.

southernbelle0915 · August 2017

@lyndausvi - I think your dad did the right thing. If your brother wants to start a massive, separate group text with the grandkids, go for it. Her being a nurse has nothing to do with it.
@mrsconn23 - I can't wait to hear your news! If it doesn't happen, will you still tell us what it was?

We are going to New Orleans this weekend. Delta keeps sending us emails basically saying "are you sure? we'll give you vouchers...last chance!" We're going. This pregnancy is about to have me gaining 60 pounds. I want all the things. To the sad, sad point that I made a list in my phone. I want beignets, gumbo, jambalaya, bread pudding, an oyster/shrimp split po'boy... just give me all that Creole grub.

OliveOilsMom · August 2017

I was busy again with work this morning. Why do they keep giving me work? I have knotting to do!

Lynda - Continued prayers and healing vibes for your mom. I agree to keep the granddaughter out of it. You don't want resentment growing within the knowledge tree. Each main branch (the 5 of you) can let the smaller branches on their limb know what is up (spouses, grandkids, etc.) My mom is a nurse and was always asked Qs - she always deflected back that the family member should ask their own doctor. They know them best. That's what granddaughter nurse should do, let your mom's doctor handle everything.

Kimmi - I've read that this is why women stay in unfulfilling jobs longer. They feel a duty to their employer. Most men don't care and just go where the money is, essentially. If you were not performing well, your employer would have no problems firing you. So don't feel bad about quitting them. Make your money on your sales trip. You have earned it and don't feel bad about quitting a few weeks after. Its just the nature of sales.

Last night was yoga, it was good. But later my back was bothering me a bit. I ended up using the heating pad a bit and woke up right feeling good. I do feel like much of my lastest issues have been happening since the baby was born. So I may need to get it looked at. But I need to find a new doctor for that. My PCP retired and I'm definitely not putting up with his office anymore. The front desk staff was TERRIBLE! The only reason I continued there was because of him.

Tonight, H & I are going over to my parents house to cut the lawn. It's apparently knee high in places. I hope it doesn't take that long! It will probably have to be a combo of weed whacker & mower.

MissKittyDanger · August 2017

@OliveOilsMom Could you have stretched wrong or over did a muscle in yoga?
Your parents lawn sounds like how bad ours gets sometimes lmao! We just weed whack though since it's such a small yard.

sparklepants41 · August 2017

@lyndausvi sending continued healing vibes for your mom! And I agree that your niece the nurse should be kept off the group text - she can still be kept in the loop without being part of the family text.

@MissKittyDanger hang in there!! It is possible to test negative but still be pregnant. Your doctor's appointment is not that far off - I'm hopeful you'll get some good answers then!!

I'm beyond exhausted today. Haven't slept well all week and as the construction in my neighborhood is still ongoing, I haven't been able to get much rest during the day either. Last night Babypants was super fussy and didn't settle down until about 2:30 this morning. Every part of my body hurts from lack of sleep.

MissKittyDanger · August 2017

@sparklepants41 I'm going to request the nurse get a suggestion from my dr if it's negative since I'm only gonna end up seeing her if it's positive.

sparklepants41 · August 2017

MissKittyDanger said:

@sparklepants41 I'm going to request the nurse get a suggestion from my dr if it's negative since I'm only gonna end up seeing her if it's positive.

That's a good idea!! Fingers crossed for you!!

OliveOilsMom · August 2017

@MissKittyDanger No, my back has been like this for a while now. I recall it starting after DDs birth. But lately, its been more frequent and painful. It may be coinciding with DDs growth. She is 16 lbs now! I try to hold her close and not on my hip too much, but I still get twinges.

@Sparklepants41 Do you have a family member who lives nearby and is home during the day? Parent? IL? Can you go over there and let them care for babypants while you get some quality sleep without the construction?

MissKittyDanger · August 2017

@OliveOilsMom owch! Hopefully you find a new dr and it's nothing serious $:\$

sparklepants41 · August 2017

OliveOilsMom said:

@MissKittyDanger No, my back has been like this for a while now. I recall it starting after DDs birth. But lately, its been more frequent and painful. It may be coinciding with DDs growth. She is 16 lbs now! I try to hold her close and not on my hip too much, but I still get twinges.
@Sparklepants41 Do you have a family member who lives nearby and is home during the day? Parent? IL? Can you go over there and let them care for babypants while you get some quality sleep without the construction?

My parents live fairly close by (about 20 miles), and my dad is home during the day, but he has really advanced MS and wouldn't be able to care for the baby (cannot pick her up as he has lost the function of one of his hands).

mrsconn23 · August 2017

@sparklepants41, get a white noise machine. You can turn them up pretty loud and they drown out a surprising amount of noise. Or if you have a box fan, turn it on and point it away from Baby Sparkles.

6fsn · August 2017

I'm sorry Lynda. I have a know it all sil too.

Yesterday kicked my ass. Up, dinner, in the crock pot, did a little work, ready to go at 8 am. My 2 hr drive took 2.5 due to fog. Back to back meetings from 10-4:45. Straight to m2's soccer game. Ils were there. Mil asked me what I was going to do with my free time when Max went back to school. I think I deserve a medal for not punching her.

southernbelle0915 · August 2017

@sparklepants41 is there anyone who can come over (like even a neighbor you trust) to watch the baby while you rest? Get some ear plugs and trust that the person will only wake you if babypants needs to eat.....and then you'll hand her right back and go back to sleep.

sparklepants41 · August 2017

mrsconn23 said:

@sparklepants41, get a white noise machine. You can turn them up pretty loud and they drown out a surprising amount of noise. Or if you have a box fan, turn it on and point it away from Baby Sparkles.

Thank you! I love this idea! I'll get a white noise machine this weekend!

mrsconn23 · August 2017

sparklepants41 said:

mrsconn23 said:

@sparklepants41, get a white noise machine. You can turn them up pretty loud and they drown out a surprising amount of noise. Or if you have a box fan, turn it on and point it away from Baby Sparkles.

Thank you! I love this idea! I'll get a white noise machine this weekend!

We used one for DefConn for awhile and passed it along to BIL/SIL for my nephew. I think I got it at Bed, Bath, and Beyond for about $20.

short+sassy · August 2017

All righty. Finally catching a bit of a breath at the end of the day. Trying to catch up at work and with my Knotting. It's a challenge, lol.

@lyndausvi, continued good wishes for your mom. I'm sorry to hear her BP is still in a bad place. Sounds like your dad made the right decision with the group text. There is nothing wrong with him controlling the information that is given out about his wife's medical condition.

@charlotte989875, I'm sorry to hear your one work situation isn't playing ball like they had promised. Really frustrating and I hope you are able to get it worked out. Especially since it sounds like it is all about "appearances" and not a concern that you won't be getting required work done.

@MissKittyDanger, at least I got to read all the "is/isn't she pregnant" posts in one day. But it was still suspenseful. I'm sure it is 1,000x more for you! And am sorry there hasn't been a "definite" answer yet. Definitely get that fancy pedicure! You need something fun and relaxing. Especially for your birthday.

@kimmiinthemitten, I'm so glad the job with your BFF's company worked out after all! It's usually bittersweet to leave a job you've had for quite awhile. But you've also had some major points of unhappiness with it for quite awhile, as well. I hope this new position gives you the freedom, more responsibility, and room to grow that you have been looking for. And the other PPs are right. Employers have no qualms about dropping people like a hot potato, when that is the best business decision. Which is fine, but employees need to think the same way.

@CharmedPam, yay! The mini trips you all have planned sound fun!

@southernbelle0915, I hope you have fun in NOLA! Happy eating. If you all don't already have fave restaurants, PM me for suggestions. Hopefully the weather will cooperate. Saturday looks pretty good, but there are chances for thunderstorms on Fri./Sun. Monday looks very rainy, meh. I've never had an airline e-mail me, encouraging me to cancel my flight for vouchers! There must be quite a demand for the holiday weekend, lol.

@OliveOilsMom, I'm sorry to hear about your back problems. I hate to say it, but maybe it is time to find a new doctor, since your favorite one retired and you don't like the new office. I hear ya, I hate taking time to see a doctor. However, they might be able to tell you what is going on and make suggestions on alleviating the problems.

@sparklepants41, it's good to see you back! I saw the pic you posted the other day. That little Babypants is just the cutest! Sorry to hear how difficult it has been to sleep . A new baby and construction in the neighborhood is definitely the worst for trying to rest.

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