Luxury Weddings

Confession: I don't like my wedding planner

edited December 2023 in Luxury Weddings
I'm planning a small destination wedding with a $150,000 budget and I hired a fancy wedding planner to do it all. I work a very demanding job and schedule and don't have time to do it myself. Honestly, she was not my fave planner I interviewed but my mom liked her. So I went along with it.

195 days till my wedding and I have buyers remorse. I don't like her.

1. Two days after hiring her, I sent an email and received an out of office announcing she would be on maternity leave for several months. She didn't mention this in our two interviews. She didn't even reach out to tell me personally. I got an out of office.

2. Her "team" are two young women neither a day over 23. Or I guess I should say they "were" because two months ago the associate tracking our event quit. With no notice. Again, I found out from an email from the other young associate on staff, after I sent a couple of testy emails with no response for a week. Still no contact with the principal planner/owner, because she's on maternity leave.

3. We've never met in person and only spoken in the two interviews. She didn't show up to my first site visit in town. The only thing she knows about me is from my effing Pinterest boards. We meet her in several weeks for our design presentation... I have anxiety this is going to be a massive disaster.

she has beautiful weddings in fancy magazines, including a feature in Martha Stewart, and rave reviews but I'm not feeling it. And now I'm stuck.

end rant.


Re: Confession: I don't like my wedding planner

  • How stuck are you? Does your contract mention an early termination fee?

    195 days is still a good chuck of time. Hopefully you will feel a lot better after your meeting in a couple weeks.
  • Is she an independent planner, or the planner for your specific venue? And like @missJeanLouise said, just how stuck are you? I'd be frustrated too with the lack of communication about change overs and who is handling your event. Yes, your wedding is a ways off and the have events prior to yours that will take precedence, but I find the lack of communication about who is handling your event, and when people are out, unprofessional. 
  • What does your contract say about termination? 

    Fire her if you want to fire her. DO NOT MENTION HER MATERNITY LEAVE. Simply say you've decided to end the contract, pay the fee without a fuss, and do not give a reason. It'll be much more drama free - if you don't have time to plan a wedding, you don't have time for drama.
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    image
  • What does your contract say about termination? 

    Fire her if you want to fire her. DO NOT MENTION HER MATERNITY LEAVE. Simply say you've decided to end the contract, pay the fee without a fuss, and do not give a reason. It'll be much more drama free - if you don't have time to plan a wedding, you don't have time for drama.
    This!  Read your contract first.  Also, I'd recommend going to the design meeting as that's really when either it's going to be a bust or beyond your wildest expectations.  If she doesn't show, then "here's your pay-off per contract, this isn't going to work out." and go with your original choice.
  • I'm planning a small destination wedding with a $150,000 budget and I hired a fancy wedding planner to do it all. I work a very demanding job and schedule and don't have time to do it myself. Honestly, she was not my fave planner I interviewed but my mom liked her. So I went along with it.

    195 days till my wedding and I have buyers remorse. I don't like her.

    1. Two days after hiring her, I sent an email and received an out of office announcing she would be on maternity leave for several months. She didn't mention this in our two interviews. She didn't even reach out to tell me personally. I got an out of office.

    2. Her "team" are two young women neither a day over 23. Or I guess I should say they "were" because two months ago the associate tracking our event quit. With no notice. Again, I found out from an email from the other young associate on staff, after I sent a couple of testy emails with no response for a week. Still no contact with the principal planner/owner, because she's on maternity leave.

    3. We've never met in person and only spoken in the two interviews. She didn't show up to my first site visit in town. The only thing she knows about me is from my effing Pinterest boards. We meet her in several weeks for our design presentation... I have anxiety this is going to be a massive disaster.

    she has beautiful weddings in fancy magazines, including a feature in Martha Stewart, and rave reviews but I'm not feeling it. And now I'm stuck.

    end rant.


    Hey OP, how did your meeting go?
  • Ugh, that sounds incredibly frustrating! A few thoughts:

    It was misleading of her not to disclose the maternity leave upfront. A major change like that should have been communicated.

    Relying on such junior staff without oversight isn't reassuring. Turnover is also a red flag.

    For a destination wedding especially, in-person rapport is so important for piece of mind. Photos can only show so much.

    At less than 6 months out, it's a tense time when you need reliable guidance the most. Anxiety is understandable.

    Some options to consider - see if you can take back some control/budget to delegate tasks you're comfortable with. Or look at wedding insurance in case you end up terminating. At least the design presentation will give you another sense of fit.

    Trust your gut - if it's not a great feeling by now, that's unlikely to change. Don't be afraid to reconsider if needed to avoid stress. You've got this, even if it means a change of plans! Keep us posted on how it goes. Fingers crossed she wows you but prepare just in case.
  • Ugh, that sounds incredibly frustrating! A few thoughts:

    It was misleading of her not to disclose the maternity leave upfront. A major change like that should have been communicated.

    Relying on such junior staff without oversight isn't reassuring. Turnover is also a red flag.

    For a destination wedding especially, in-person rapport is so important for piece of mind. Photos can only show so much.

    At less than 6 months out, it's a tense time when you need reliable guidance the most. Anxiety is understandable.

    Some options to consider - see if you can take back some control/budget to delegate tasks you're comfortable with. Or look at wedding insurance in case you end up terminating. At least the design presentation will give you another sense of fit.

    Trust your gut - if it's not a great feeling by now, that's unlikely to change. Don't be afraid to reconsider if needed to avoid stress. You've got this, even if it means a change of plans! Keep us posted on how it goes. Fingers crossed she wows you but prepare just in case.

    @knotmod, can you please close this thread?
    @justknowimtay PLEASE check these dates.  This post is SIX YEARS old. 
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