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Wedding Party
augustgirl21
member
Party Bus/Limo no alcohol
So I have ask a few different groups (family. friends. volunteer group) and got mixed reactions so throwing it out here.
I'm having a limo or "party bus" between ceremony and reception to go out and take pictures with the wedding party.
I asked my MOH (who knows the crew obviously) would there be riot if I didn't have alcohol on the party bus?
She pretty much said yes a majority of the party would hate you. (including my new husband)
I asked my volunteer group host (middle aged couple) and they didn't see an issue with not having alcohol on the bus.
They also suggested not calling it a "party bus" but a limo and that might lower people's expectations of booze.
My plan is to have beer/wine/champagne ONLY on the limo/bus that we provide (so I can control the amount) but how do I keep the wedding party from sneaking on hard liquor
My main concern is them pressuring my fiance to drink more than he should before the wedding starts.
We have an open bar at the reception and wedding party/parents can bring whatever and it will only be served to them.
So my feelings are they can have whatever they want that night why do they need to drinking a lot on the bus?
Thoughts?
I'm having a limo or "party bus" between ceremony and reception to go out and take pictures with the wedding party.
I asked my MOH (who knows the crew obviously) would there be riot if I didn't have alcohol on the party bus?
She pretty much said yes a majority of the party would hate you. (including my new husband)
I asked my volunteer group host (middle aged couple) and they didn't see an issue with not having alcohol on the bus.
They also suggested not calling it a "party bus" but a limo and that might lower people's expectations of booze.
My plan is to have beer/wine/champagne ONLY on the limo/bus that we provide (so I can control the amount) but how do I keep the wedding party from sneaking on hard liquor
My main concern is them pressuring my fiance to drink more than he should before the wedding starts.
We have an open bar at the reception and wedding party/parents can bring whatever and it will only be served to them.
So my feelings are they can have whatever they want that night why do they need to drinking a lot on the bus?
Thoughts?
Re: Party Bus/Limo no alcohol
I also think you should just not call it a party party bus and only serve champagne and stop asking people about it. They're missing cocktail hour to do this they should get a drink.
Or or just don't do it at all if you think it's going to be an issue.
That said, if you can't trust your FI to avoid peer pressure and not drink too much for an important event, he's not mature enough to be getting married. Trying to police the rest of the WP's drinking is controlling and micromanaging. They should all be adults, but if they do over do it, that's their problem, not yours. Treating them like children is not ok.
And what do you mean by the bolded? WP and parents do not get special treatment over the rest of your guests. You and the WP should get served whatever the rest of your guests are getting served. If they don't have the specialty liquor groomsman Tom prefers, oh well. It's really rude for Tom to bring a bottle of Belvedere though that only he gets to use.
It's our venue's policy that the wedding party gets to bring/drink whatever. My dad asked what beer was supplied and they answered but said the wedding party/parents can bring whatever and it will only be served to them.
Everyone else has the "policing people's drinking" thing covered, but yeah, these people are adults, you don't need to be babysitting them the day of your wedding.
As for the reception, there should never be drinks available only for a select group of attendees. Either it's available to everyone, or it's available to no one.
I'm confused. Will the bus be driving around while the cocktail hour is going on?
There are a lot of questions which come up on here which are essentially, "How do I control people's behavior?" and the answer is that you can't. You can't stop people from getting drunker than you'd like. You can ask your FI not to overindulge, and tell him that it's important to you. Just like you can't make your bridal party not drink X amount, they can't force him to drink X amount.
If you're truly worried about that happening after you've communicated to him the importance to you of staying relatively sober, then that's a maturity or respect issue with your FI, and not something to be avoided by attempting (and failing) to control the consumption of everyone else.
eta actual quote - "yep" made no sense
It really isn't considerate of your guests to keep them waiting longer than, say, an hour while you take photos. Going off on your own on a party bus leaves them stuck waiting for you to show up to your reception, which is supposed to thank them for attending your wedding.
And if the lack of alcohol on the party bus is a concern, that's all the more reason not to do it.
Just take photos for no more than an hour and serve cocktails and appetizers to your guests while they wait for you. Then start the reception.
I sincerely hope that you are not having a bus so that you can take pictures in a bunch of locations. If I had been able to drink at the time I would have gotten plastered out of sheer spite.
Just because you CAN answer a question that wasn't asked doesn't mean you SHOULD. But clearly people do things they "shouldn't" every day.
I just want to make sure that you, as an adult woman, are aware you are snapping at people in defense of vehicle with LED lights and a stripper pole.
And yes, serving special drinks to the WP/family that other guests cannot have is rude AF.
@kwiksilverI am doing the same thing that all the other wedding I have been to and been apart of have done.
Interpret that as you will.
And are you understanding that offering anything to a portion of your guest list that isn't offered to ALL of your guests is really incredibly rude? No one wants to be treated as a lower tier of guest.
Since you're going to do what you want, extend the same courtesy to them. Let them drink as much as they want on the bus, because it's the least you could do for being ridiculous and dragging them hither and yon just because you've only been to rude-ass weddings.
My aunt is having a catered lunch at their house/backyard for any and all guest who want to come between the ceremony and the reception. (This was originally where the reception was being held but I started worrying too much about weather issues)
And yes I'm aware that people on this forum see my WP BYOB as rude. If other guests would like to BYOB they are more than welcome to as well.
It doesn't make it a good idea. The gap isn't pleasant for any guests but those on the party bus, and even still, that's only true for the bridal party with plenty of alcohol... so really just the bride and groom, and since you're worried about the groom drinking... maybe just the bride. Since I professed to care about my guests, it's not something we could do to them. Don't make everyone mill around for hours just because it would be fun for you and you've dealt with it when other people have done it.
Just because there's something going on in the gap doesn't mean it's fun or magically not rude. It's a time waster that's only in place so you can spend a silly amount of time apart from the majority of your guests. I mean, it's nice of your aunt to host so there's something, but honestly, people would so much rather go to the reception. Including, it sounds like, your bridal party. So again, we're back to "This is just for you." And that's not a good enough reason to waste everyone's time.
BYOB receptions are rude. Telling others that they're welcome to doesn't remove the rudness.
But moreover, please opt for a way that allows all of your guests to be hosted after the ceremony with no gap.
I get it. I'm Catholic too and it was tricky to plan - but we figured out a way to have the ceremony and reception and no break between.
Guests may be used to it. They may even accept it. It doesn't make it OK and it DOES make that one long day for them.
so you can take this opportunity to be the exception, and properly host your guests. People will likely talk for ages about how great your wedding was since they didn't have to sit in someone's buggy backyard eating crackers while the bride and groom took photos all over town in their dry stripper-pole mobile. They'll be thrilled that they got to go straight from ceremony to reception. . . . don't you want to start this great trend with your group of friends and family??
It doesn't mean that you can roll your eyes and shrug your shoulders when people see that you post you're about to do something that's patently rude. What you've proposed thus far is just not nice. It's not the worst thing in the world, but that hardly means that it's OK.
Just skip it. It's the path of least resistance.
I have never had Nutella, the thought of it is gross to me. . . . a Nutella jar would not make me happy.