Dear Prudence,
My husband and I have been preparing to adopt a baby from “Anita” for six months. We’ve paid Anita’s medical bills and an allowance so Anita didn’t have to work too hard during her final trimester. She’s due in six weeks, and we discovered by accident that at some point she’d changed her mind. Anita will be keeping her baby. It’s a devastating but not unexpected loss. My husband and I wish Anita well, because we want her baby to succeed, but we also want to sever our relationship with her. Anita won’t be able to afford the same level of care without our money, and her mother has accused us of being heartless. We’re torn. We can’t afford to support Anita and pursue adoption. Are we obligated to continue paying for her medical expenses?