Hoarding and Purging

southernbelle0915 · November 2017

So the "4 women" thread has me thinking...are you a hoarder? A pack rat? A pack rat, then a purger? A "whatever let it accumulate" person? A minimalist?

And are you satisfied with your tendencies? Do you wish you had more/less stuff?

This pregnancy has me purging all the shit. I've started going through my entire closet (including shoes, bags, and jewelry), our whole basement, file drawers, the boxes within the boxes, kitchen cupboards, bathroom cabinets, the closets in our guest rooms (which housed forgotten overflow shit)...It's making me feel like I was pack ratting for the last several years. But idk if maybe it's natural accumulation without regular purging. Whatever it is, it's making me feel calm and wonderful.

climbingsingle · November 2017

I'm totally a purger. I cannot stand any kind of clutter. My H is sort of an organized pack rat. He has cards that people gave him for his HS graduation (he graduated in 1991). It's organized, and neat, but it drives me crazy. If we get, say, a thank you card, I'll hang onto it for a week. After that, it goes in the garbage. My H would keep that card for the next 20 years.

However, I will say that I have a tendency to hang on to clothes and shoes that I no longer wear. I don't know why. I know that if I haven't worn something in a year, I should get rid of it. I've got a pair of heels that are from 2006, and I just keep moving them around.

GBCK · November 2017

packrat ADHDer married to a purger minimalist with OCD and anxiety disorder.
OUr marriage is a goddamn miracle :P

missJeanLouise · November 2017

I am a “certain hobbies need necessary equipment and I like to be prepared” type hoarder. I have camping supplies, art supplies, sewing supplies, horse supplies. Also I grew up in the Midwest so I need clothes for a wide range of temperatures. DH has electronics and radio supplies and a weird bag and hat addiction. We both can’t live without our books.

mostly, I grew up too poor to justify getting rid of perfectly good items. Though I am getting better about ditching clothes.

banana468 · November 2017

Neither DH nor I are good at this. DH is better at organizing places like cabinets but he's horrible about purging his old stuff. We have a plastic container that holds nothing but old power supplies because they may be needed.

I have more cooking items than I know what to do with. I need to take some days to send the kids to school and go into the basement and start to throw stuff out / create a Goodwill box. Ditto for the clothing that can be worn but won't.

VarunaTT · November 2017

K is the deadly combination of extreme shopper and pack rat. They opened their makeup organizer and I was like:

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/wvFrJa4aWKuvm/giphy.gif

and had them clean it out because of serious concerns about infection. They had a glitter palate that they told me they'd had since high school (6 years ago)! Our storage unit it basically 90% their stuff and 10% mine.

I'm a minimalist and have been for awhile. I'm on board with the "have you touched this in 2 years? No? Get rid of it". I didn't have a lot of "stuff" pre-divorce in the first place. I basically left with a bedroom furniture set, clothes, TV, and dishes, so post divorce I still don't have...well, really any "stuff". *thinking about apartment* Maybe I need to go shopping.

MissKittyDanger · November 2017

Purger married to an ADHD pack rat lol

When we were moving, he basically gave me free reign to pack everything {I also had some short days, so I could get a couple hours in} but I swear, there were boxes of his crap that i would just hand him and say "GO THROUGH IT WE ARE NOT TAKING EVERYTHING"

Same went for unpacking. I sat in the basement, passing boxes to have him sort through. I sat with him so ADHD wouldn't kick in and he'd start playing with something. {which still happened, but I could change his focus relatively well}

MissKittyDanger · November 2017

GBCK said:

packrat ADHDer married to a purger minimalist with OCD and anxiety disorder.
OUr marriage is a goddamn miracle :P

You are direct opposite to M and I :P

MissKittyDanger · November 2017

southernbelle0915 said:

So the "4 women" thread has me thinking...are you a hoarder? A pack rat? A pack rat, then a purger? A "whatever let it accumulate" person? A minimalist?

And are you satisfied with your tendencies? Do you wish you had more/less stuff?

This pregnancy has me purging all the shit. I've started going through my entire closet (including shoes, bags, and jewelry), our whole basement, file drawers, the boxes within the boxes, kitchen cupboards, bathroom cabinets, the closets in our guest rooms (which housed forgotten overflow shit)...It's making me feel like I was pack ratting for the last several years. But idk if maybe it's natural accumulation without regular purging. Whatever it is, it's making me feel calm and wonderful.

I forget, how far along are you? Could this be nesting?

mrsconn23 · November 2017

We're neither hoarders or pack-rats. DH and I do our fair share of purging 2-3 times a year.

We are, however, terrible about picking up. We are surface coverers. If there's a surface, shit will be on it. Nothing lights our cleaning fire like houseguests.

southernbelle0915 · November 2017

MissKittyDanger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

So the "4 women" thread has me thinking...are you a hoarder? A pack rat? A pack rat, then a purger? A "whatever let it accumulate" person? A minimalist?

And are you satisfied with your tendencies? Do you wish you had more/less stuff?

This pregnancy has me purging all the shit. I've started going through my entire closet (including shoes, bags, and jewelry), our whole basement, file drawers, the boxes within the boxes, kitchen cupboards, bathroom cabinets, the closets in our guest rooms (which housed forgotten overflow shit)...It's making me feel like I was pack ratting for the last several years. But idk if maybe it's natural accumulation without regular purging. Whatever it is, it's making me feel calm and wonderful.

I forget, how far along are you? Could this be nesting?

19 weeks.

I think it's a bit of nesting, a bit personality. I get really stressed out with "stuff" everywhere, you know? After a good purge, I feel simple, calm, and in control. Like, I know what I have and I know where it all is.

southernbelle0915 · November 2017

missJeanLouise said:

I am a “certain hobbies need necessary equipment and I like to be prepared” type hoarder. I have camping supplies, art supplies, sewing supplies, horse supplies. Also I grew up in the Midwest so I need clothes for a wide range of temperatures. DH has electronics and radio supplies and a weird bag and hat addiction. We both can’t live without our books.

mostly, I grew up too poor to justify getting rid of perfectly good items. Though I am getting better about ditching clothes.

I think this is where my mom lands (see 4 women thread). Like lawn chairs in the living room and food insecurity poor. But it's interesting because my dad grew up equally, if not more poor than my mom and he is a total minimalist.

short+sassy · November 2017

mrsconn23 said:

We're neither hoarders or pack-rats. DH and I do our fair share of purging 2-3 times a year.

We are, however, terrible about picking up. We are surface coverers. If there's a surface, shit will be on it. Nothing lights our cleaning fire like houseguests.

I am a pack-rat. I was actually just posting about this on the other thread, lol.

I come from a long line of them (sigh). In her later years, my mom has actually gotten a lot better about it. Like some of you have mentioned, part of her motivation is to not leave me and my sister with mounds of her stuff that we would mostly just throw away.

The bolded too! Thank you for giving it a name. Surface Coverer.

Also, if there is a piece of furniture high enough to fit stuff under, there is a box or two under it.

I know this next technique to motivate myself to be a better purger sounds really weird, but bear with me. After Hurricane Katrina, it was 6 weeks before my H and I even knew what had happened to the house we'd been living in, ie was there even going to be any of our possessions left.

As it turned out, the house had not flooded and we'd only lost the items that had been in a backyard storage shed. I was SO glad about that! Do not misunderstand me. But before we knew, there was a little piece of me that felt "freedom" at the possibility of no more possessions and starting "fresh". And then not making the same pack-rat mistakes.

So now, if I'm having trouble letting go of an item, I'll sometimes ask myself, "If I lost this in a fire/flood, would I really even care?" Usually the answer is "no" and that makes it easier to put in the Goodwill box.

short+sassy · November 2017

Another reason not to be a pack-rat.

More stuff everywhere=more dust and dust accumulation.

I know the equation well, lol.

southernbelle0915 · November 2017

My FIL is also really bad at throwing away anything. And to boot, he's one of those people who swears up and down he's going to take up some hobby - like learning Spanish, playing the piano, working out at home, or being a pool shark - so he'll buy all the shit that goes along with whatever that is (including a piano, fitness machines, and a pool table) and then never use it. But he won't get rid of any of it either. Because SOME DAY, he's going to take it up.
Image result for yeah ok gif

flantastic · November 2017

I keep some things with sentimental value, but every so often will run across a collection of "sentimental" items and purge a number of them, after getting a final laugh out of them or whatever. Fun, but no longer important enough to keep.

There's also some weird cases - for instance, I still have my one good friend's wedding program because it's a spectacular program, and I may want to use it as a model for designing a different version of Catholic wedding program someday... but haven't yet. The key is having it organized, because if I don't know where something is or might be when I do actually want to use it, what is the point?

MIL keeps a ton of stuff from all events of everyone she knows. She just tried to pawn some stuff off on all her kids and their spouses this weekend. Crafts that her kids made, and the like. The artists were not interested in taking them. The spouses were also not interested, since it's not like they were particularly good, and the people who actually were around for their making and/or made them didn't express a desire for them. MIL was surprised? hurt? that no one wanted the stuff. I wanted to say "You don't want it. You're getting rid of it. Why do you think we do?" I think she's been deluding herself that she's been holding on to things for other people that will be important to them later, and they're turning out not to be.

As my SIL said - "If it comes to me and I know BIL didn't ask for it, it is 100% going directly to the trash or Goodwill."

missJeanLouise · November 2017

I don’t accumulate a lot of things because I am cheap. I just don’t get rid of things if I think they can still be useful. Also, based on the doco on minimalism I just watched, I couldn’t live like them either. I need plants, books, textiles, etc to feel comfortable. Everything else feels like a cheap hotel room to me.
But I am not sentimental, birthday cards and other stuff is out. I purge whenever I move which I guess is every couple years.

charlotte989875 · November 2017

mrsconn23 said:

We're neither hoarders or pack-rats. DH and I do our fair share of purging 2-3 times a year.

We are, however, terrible about picking up. We are surface coverers. If there's a surface, shit will be on it. Nothing lights our cleaning fire like houseguests.

This is me.

climbingwife said:

However, I will say that I have a tendency to hang on to clothes and shoes that I no longer wear. I don't know why. I know that if I haven't worn something in a year, I should get rid of it. I've got a pair of heels that are from 2006, and I just keep moving them around.

This is also me.

I hang on to clothes (and purses, and shoes) way too long. And shop for new ones way too often. I've gotten better, but still, not great.

H is a total minimalist and purger. He wouldn't have stuff if he didn't actually need it. I had to order him new socks a few weeks ago because his were full of holes and falling apart.

But with moving so frequently (12 moves in 10 years, not counting summer research locations) we've gotten rid of a ton of stuff. H would probably like to get rid of more (and we probably will again), but we've finally settled on a compromise of we don't need to keep everything, but we do keep the sentimental stuff.

short+sassy · November 2017

On sentimental items, I was doing some purging recently and came across a box that my mom had kept forever and then mailed to me a few years ago. Sentimental baby stuff.

It has three different newspapers (local city paper, Orange County Register, and LA Times) from the day I was born. Giant font headlines about the Energy Crisis. Watergate scandal in full swing. Good times, lol.

It had mine and my mom's hospital bracelets.

Two 45's. One with the top pop song the day I was born...Top of the World by the Carpenters. And the top country song...Most Beautiful Girl in the World by Charlie Rich. Yeah, I don't know who Charlie Rich is either. But I know the song.

It also had the "Congratulations" cards, lol. Where my mom had written on the back what gift she received with it. I'm assuming for ty card purposes.

And on the back of one of them was the following info, "Ugly dress and sweater". Decades later and the "baby" that ugly dress and sweater was for is ROFL.

Oh, I suck. I couldn't throw any of that away and just put it all back in the box.

levioosa · November 2017

So....is this ADHD Packrat really a thing? Because I also am a purger with an ADHD packrat partner.

SO buys so. much. stuff. It drives me bonkers. Like, we don't need more stuff. We don't need more pillows, more candles, more wind chimes, more decorations. Just. Stop. But he goes to TJ Maxx, HomeGoods, Marshall's, Target at least once a week and buys more stuff. It makes me want to lose my mind. If I don't use things in 6-12 months and it isn't something seasonal like a coat, it's gone. Meanwhile SO has literal empty tissue boxes with his school crest on it that he won't throw away. He has to take a picture of everything he throws away from the garage. It's taken over a year now and the garage is still almost the same from when we moved in. If I had been in charge it would have been cleaned up and organized the first month. Sometimes I feel bad though, SO's hoarder tendencies stem from growing up very poor and struggling to have things or have enough to eat. I can understand that, even if I want to strangle him when he brings home another picture or candle. But man, I just want to throw like 90% of everything in the trash/goodwill.

GBCK · November 2017

yeah, a lot of the books that deal w/ ADHD talk about the packrat. THere's a lot of comorbidity w/ OCD and other hoarding stuff.

Some of it is 'oooh, lets buy this because I'm planning to take up aphiary interests next month' which becomes "oh, I'm over that, I decided to draw my own comics", but some of it is also a struggle ot organize within the systems that the rest of the world creates and needing to make our own.

Hard to explain.
Maybe this helps more: https://www.healthcentral.com/article/is-there-a-link-between-adhd-and-hoarding

MissKittyDanger · November 2017

southernbelle0915 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

southernbelle0915 said:

So the "4 women" thread has me thinking...are you a hoarder? A pack rat? A pack rat, then a purger? A "whatever let it accumulate" person? A minimalist?

And are you satisfied with your tendencies? Do you wish you had more/less stuff?

This pregnancy has me purging all the shit. I've started going through my entire closet (including shoes, bags, and jewelry), our whole basement, file drawers, the boxes within the boxes, kitchen cupboards, bathroom cabinets, the closets in our guest rooms (which housed forgotten overflow shit)...It's making me feel like I was pack ratting for the last several years. But idk if maybe it's natural accumulation without regular purging. Whatever it is, it's making me feel calm and wonderful.

I forget, how far along are you? Could this be nesting?

19 weeks.

I think it's a bit of nesting, a bit personality. I get really stressed out with "stuff" everywhere, you know? After a good purge, I feel simple, calm, and in control. Like, I know what I have and I know where it all is.

Ah okay

I've get the same feeling after purging, so I'm curious how nesting will go lol

*Barbie* · November 2017

I'm somewhere between pack rat, shopper, and just damn lazy.
Things like houseguests and watching Hoarders usually encourage cleaning/purging sprees.

Like I said in the other post, i will often get more than i need if it's a good deal/i want to be prepared - but it's not to an extreme - like i will buy 1 bulk pack but not an entire pallet. This *does* come in handy so I can justify - usually when we run out of something i have a backup supply and if not, its because someone didn't bother to tell me it was low.

Other stuff it's because we're lazy (like baby stuff, or boxes that haven't been touched post move) - that's just a question of being motivated to sort through and make sure we're alright with purging. We were able to get a lot of baby stuff to Harvey victims and shelters, so that actually worked out well.

short+sassy · November 2017

*Barbie* said:

Other stuff it's because we're lazy (like baby stuff, or boxes that haven't been touched post move) - that's just a question of being motivated to sort through and make sure we're alright with purging. We were able to get a lot of baby stuff to Harvey victims and shelters, so that actually worked out well.

There was bad flooding in Baton Rouge in August of last year. For once, I was extra motivated to go through my things because there were people who NEEDED them. Plus, a number of charities had drop-off areas in my city to pick up the goods that were going to be trucked up there.

I got rid of a tote and a half of toiletries and two trash bags full of clothes.

Plus a trash bag to go to a regular Goodwill. For items that would be more a hindrance to BR. Like a couple old cocktail dresses. Nobody wants to clean their flooded house wearing one of my sequined numbers, lol.

And a trash bag full of trash...stuff that was too old/poor condition to donate to anybody.

It was great to help people. And the selfish part was the relief of doing some major purging progress.

ei34 · November 2017

I’m overly sentimental with things like cards, graduation/wedding programs, but I’m pretty good with keeping it all organized. H thinks of himself as the clean, organized one but he has more stuff on common surface areas, and he does a hectic scramble on the way out the door for his wallet/keys/phone almost every time.

I work at a Catholic school, which works hand in hand with a couple of shelters, so every week the brother that runs the program collects things (clothes, housewares, baby/kid stuff). It’s awesome having a convenient place to donate often, bc we find ourselves constantly swimming in kid stuff.

levioosa · November 2017

GBCK said:

yeah, a lot of the books that deal w/ ADHD talk about the packrat. THere's a lot of comorbidity w/ OCD and other hoarding stuff.

Some of it is 'oooh, lets buy this because I'm planning to take up aphiary interests next month' which becomes "oh, I'm over that, I decided to draw my own comics", but some of it is also a struggle ot organize within the systems that the rest of the world creates and needing to make our own.

Hard to explain.
Maybe this helps more: https://www.healthcentral.com/article/is-there-a-link-between-adhd-and-hoarding

Interesting. Thanks for sharing. SO has terrible ADHD and a lot of the bullet points about hoarding definitely apply to him. I'm surprised I haven't heard about this before. You learn something new every day.

*Barbie* · November 2017

short+sassy said:

*Barbie* said:

Other stuff it's because we're lazy (like baby stuff, or boxes that haven't been touched post move) - that's just a question of being motivated to sort through and make sure we're alright with purging. We were able to get a lot of baby stuff to Harvey victims and shelters, so that actually worked out well.

There was bad flooding in Baton Rouge in August of last year. For once, I was extra motivated to go through my things because there were people who NEEDED them. Plus, a number of charities had drop-off areas in my city to pick up the goods that were going to be trucked up there.
I got rid of a tote and a half of toiletries and two trash bags full of clothes.
Plus a trash bag to go to a regular Goodwill. For items that would be more a hindrance to BR. Like a couple old cocktail dresses. Nobody wants to clean their flooded house wearing one of my sequined numbers, lol.
And a trash bag full of trash...stuff that was too old/poor condition to donate to anybody.
It was great to help people. And the selfish part was the relief of doing some major purging progress.

Yeah, We took a big bag of toiletries (hotel and travel size stuff), ~4 totes of baby clothes and shoes/blankets/sheets, a tote of toys for infants and toddlers, a package of diapers, some cleaning supplies, and some adult clothes.

lovesclimbing · November 2017

Not as minimalist as I'd like to be. Although, some people may consider us to be pretty minimalist. After four years of marriage, we moved with all our belongings in our car and our truck pulling an 18-foot trailer with 4.5-foot sides.

I really would like to purge more stuff. We have boxes that we don't get into often that I'd love to get rid of.

Being outdoorsy people and living where it's cold means we have more gear than a lot of people. We have kayaks and life jackets, climbing gear, bikes, multiple kinds of helmets for the various things we do (snowmachining, climbing, skiing, biking) and winter gear like snow pants and thick coats, winter boots.

When we travel in the winter, I always think "ooh, it's just a week! I can just take my ski bag, ski boot bag, and one small carry-on size duffel!" and then it's like "oh, wait. Sure, my clothes and toiletries fit in there, but I have to take two different helmets and pairs of goggles, my snow pants, my big coat, multiple layering pieces, etc." and then I get exasperated.

kvruns · November 2017

I’m a packrat but will go through purging tendencies. But I do hang on to stuff “just in case I’ll need it” bc inevitably right after I get rid of it I’ll wish I had it. I definitely get this from my mom although she’s terrible at any kind of purging which drives my dad crazy.

kimmiinthemitten · November 2017

We're surface coverers and pack rats. Bad combo for both of us! Mines is partial ADHD and I think partial growing up poor and having little. Plus once upon a time my dad lost a storage unit that had a bunch of important stuff in it (like all of our baby/childhood photos).

H is sentimental and has this weird thing for gifts. If someone got him something, it is to be appreciated and held onto, even if it's never used.

southernbelle0915 · November 2017

The last 3 years or so, my weakness has also been clothes and hanging onto things like "fat pants" (just in case) and "skinny pants" (just in case).

I've been waffling between pregnancy, post-partum, recovering from pregnancy/post-partum, pregnant again (read: normal, maternity, boobs big, bigger than normal, trying to get back in shape and doing well, boobs normal, trying to get back in shape and not doing so well, maternity again...).

I've literally been fantasizing about being one size and staying there. So that I can buy fewer, nicer things again and get out of this weird limbo.

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