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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal
Post Wedding Blues and Critiques!! Halllp!
I know this is a silly post but the H, BFFs and MOB I'm sure are getting tired of it. We planned and paid for our wedding ourselves and it was fun, exciting, and seriously stressful. I miss it all now and of course in retrospect am not sure why I was so stressed. I keep reliving not just what truly was our beautiful, most happy day but the actual planning and am STILL obsessed with weddings. Worse, I've been criticizing ours and have made a list of things I still would definitely do over despite how overall well it turned out.
When planning, compromises definitely had to be made due to timing, location (as in proximity to church), and budget (although we set a fairly robust one, this area ain't cheap!). I was so stressed and exhausted that there were more than a few times I think I sort of just started giving up. My wonderful now hubby was extremely involved but was on work travel a lot and, after all is still a man so tiny details that mattered a lot to me I just didn't even bother to share with him because I know he was already carrying a lot trying to make me happy.
Meanwhile, I was overly concerned with trying to pull off the perfect day and make everyone else happy. So I gave up the best outdoor reception venue worried that the tented area and ground wouldn't work for the elderly guests and weather would be too much of worry. Coordinating multiple vendors was getting hard so we found a lovely luxury hotel that had both out and indoor spaces and let us customize the menu etc.
The day flew by and when we returned from our incredible honeymoon I began reliving through photos and getting feedback. Some was stellar and some left me starting to second guess my choices which led me down the black hole of deep self-criticism and desperate want of a do-over. Here is my list:
1) Hire better photographer (allocate less to flowers and food and more to a top)
2) Get planner/day of coordinator
2) Plated dinner vs. three stations
3) Have the late night bites passed or announced
4) Get paper products designed to match with our self-made graphic early on
5) Band instead of DJ
6) Balloons/props for photos
7) Take more time dress shopping
8) Signage for cigar bar area
9) Switch s'more station to ice cream/sno cones
Does anyone else feel this way??? What is your list? Tell me I'm not crazy. Please.
When planning, compromises definitely had to be made due to timing, location (as in proximity to church), and budget (although we set a fairly robust one, this area ain't cheap!). I was so stressed and exhausted that there were more than a few times I think I sort of just started giving up. My wonderful now hubby was extremely involved but was on work travel a lot and, after all is still a man so tiny details that mattered a lot to me I just didn't even bother to share with him because I know he was already carrying a lot trying to make me happy.
Meanwhile, I was overly concerned with trying to pull off the perfect day and make everyone else happy. So I gave up the best outdoor reception venue worried that the tented area and ground wouldn't work for the elderly guests and weather would be too much of worry. Coordinating multiple vendors was getting hard so we found a lovely luxury hotel that had both out and indoor spaces and let us customize the menu etc.
The day flew by and when we returned from our incredible honeymoon I began reliving through photos and getting feedback. Some was stellar and some left me starting to second guess my choices which led me down the black hole of deep self-criticism and desperate want of a do-over. Here is my list:
1) Hire better photographer (allocate less to flowers and food and more to a top)
2) Get planner/day of coordinator
2) Plated dinner vs. three stations
3) Have the late night bites passed or announced
4) Get paper products designed to match with our self-made graphic early on
5) Band instead of DJ
6) Balloons/props for photos
7) Take more time dress shopping
8) Signage for cigar bar area
9) Switch s'more station to ice cream/sno cones
Does anyone else feel this way??? What is your list? Tell me I'm not crazy. Please.
Re: Post Wedding Blues and Critiques!! Halllp!
You want to know my list? Here's a list of things that all went wrong at my wedding:
DJ showed up late
DJ's sound system malfunctioned many times during our ceremony
I didn't get any pictures with my family
My cake FELL OVER onto the ground while people were walking into the dining room
There's more, but I honestly don't remember now. Even with all of these mishaps, I wouldn't change a thing. It was still the happiest day, and I'm married to someone that I love so very much. That's what matters. My guests had a great time, and still talk about our wedding 3 years later.
All of these tiny details - they don't mean anything. Trust me that no one is thinking about the fact that you didn't have a sign at the cigar station. Let it go. Focus on the good. Find a new project to focus on.
Now let it go.
If multiple people (especially those closest to you) are telling you to stop rehashing things, you need to start listening. All the talk about things you'd do differently/didn't like is probably weighing heaviest on your new husband who is just trying to enjoy time with you as newlyweds. You're souring the experience for BOTH of you and you don't even realize it. Knock it off and go enjoy this new chapter before you regret wrecking this special time by focusing on the past.
I would also also recommend that you find a hobby or something new to focus attention on. Make it new and big. Weddings are big planning events and you need something to take that place. If you have ever wanted to learn something new, now is the time. I would also recommend staying away from wedding magazines, Pinterest and anything else where you might start thinking about your day.
OP, all you needed to do was host your guests properly.