Anyone tried a beaching wedding?

ashashashley · December 2017

Hi knotties,

I am burning with the idea of a beach wedding. I don't have much budget, and everyone has kind of told me how expensive a beaching wedding is or else it would end up as something ugly.

I live in LA, it's near the sea, while none of my fam is. They have to travel a long way here pls afford the hotel. There's no way my parents can afford this. But it burns as hell if I thought of giving up.

Anyone had a budget beach wedding? Any ideas? XOX.

missJeanLouise · December 2017

ashashashley said:

Hi knotties,

I am burning with the idea of a beach wedding. I don't have much budget, and everyone has kind of told me how expensive a beaching wedding is or else it would end up as something ugly.

I live in LA, it's near the sea, while none of my fam is. They have to travel a long way here pls afford the hotel. There's no way my parents can afford this. But it burns as hell if I thought of giving up.

Anyone had a budget beach wedding? Any ideas? XOX.

There might be spots you can reserve to get married at that don’t cost too much. The #1 biggest cost of a wedding is normally the food and beverage. That number depends greatly on how many people you are inviting. So if you reserve a spot in a park (with enough chairs for everyone) and then take 10 people out to dinner for the reception, I would say that is a pretty inexpensive, etiquette approved wedding.

If you didn’t have the wedding in LA where would you do it? Where are your parents coming from?

charlotte989875 · December 2017

Well you have a few options; 1) Limit the number of people you invite so that you keep your food/drink costs down and can properly host everyone with a meal. If you're asking people to travel I do agree you need to serve them a meal, regardless of the ceremony time. 2) Save up until you can afford the type of wedding that you want, even if that means pushing back your wedding date. 3) Have a wedding with just you and your FI on the beach.

I know the reality of planning the type of wedding you've always wanted, and having a budget that doesn't permit you do that is hard. But keep in mind what is most important to you, is it being married on a beach? Is it having your friends and family there? Or is it simply being married? None of these choices are wrong, you just have to focus on what is most important to you and your FI.

ahoywedding · December 2017

I think you and your FI need to talk about your priorities. It can be tough when what you've always dreamed of doesn't line up with what you can afford. Think about what would matter to you: is it having your friends & family attend? being on the beach? just doing the damn thing however that happens?

It seems like you're kind of acknowledging that your family may not be able to attend if you have the wedding where you're located. If that's something you're alright with, you could have just you & your FI on the beach.

If you want your family there, is there a beach located nearer to them? Or could you have a smaller wedding on the beach, invite only your immediate families, host them well (a low key dinner at a restaurant afterwards, possibly) and maybe chip in for part of their travel costs?

Would you be comfortable pushing the wedding back until you are able to afford everything you want?

STARMOON44 · December 2017

It burns as hell the thought of giving up a beach wedding?

sure. #MUD

lyndausvi · December 2017

Yes, I tried to have a beach wedding. But a Tropical Storm Hannah had other ideas, so it was moved under a tent.

Just like other weddings they can be inexpensive or expensive. It depends on your location and the amount of people. We got married on the east coast, so I'm not familiar with other areas, but here are some things we came across while doing some researching.

Timing - quite a few places only gave you 30 minutes to setup/breakdown AND perform the ceremony

Seating - some places only allowed a few seats if any at all. Those all had to be rented and someone has to setup. Seating for ALL guests is generally required.

Beaches are public - You will likely see an old guy in a small speedo or just generally a lot of people. You can't make people move so you can have your prefect spot. You can't really ask people not to walk on the beach while you ceremony is going on.

Permits/Fees - most places required a special permit for a beach wedding. And most did not allow an organized party. So you might be able to have the ceremony on the beach, the reception had to be somewhere else. Fees were all over the place.

I was lucky because we picked a private beach club, which was on the far end of the town away from the major hotels. It happened to be right next to a Coast Guard base and the beaches are restricted in front of the base. So while the beach was public, most people did not come down that far the beach.

However, it came at a price.

Basically you have to do your own research. Each location is different. Even in beach towns next to each other we found differences. Some didn't allow them at all, when the next town you could.

southernbelle0915 · December 2017

A big portion of what makes outdoor weddings so expensive is that you have to have an indoor/sheltered Plan B. So you're basically paying for two venues and only using one. Another thing is that, often, outdoor weddings are all a la carte. So for example chairs don't come with a beach or a backyard - you have to pay to rent them, have them delivered, set up, torn down, picked up.

It's a lot of added expense that wouldn't normally be the case for a traditional wedding.

MobKaz · December 2017

It burns as hell? It sounds like you have already given up on your dream wedding in France, followed by not hosting a reception for your guests so you and your FH can immediately start your honeymoon.

Perhaps you should seriously consider what you can afford versus your dream. You can actually get burned by planning a wedding with a budget that is not reality based.

judywedding2019 · December 2017

Beach wedding costs depend on many of the same factors as a non-beach wedding -- the number of guests, the size of the wedding party and the choice of the wedding-dress ($200-$5,000+), suit ($50-$1,500+), flowers ($700 average for a traditional wedding), wedding minister ($50-$400+), marriage license ($10-$100+) and more. Because a beach wedding is typically informal, it can be less expensive. And you can just invite VIPs to your wedding, and cover your parents's expense.Then it's possible.

ahoywedding · December 2017

judywedding2019 said:

Beach wedding costs depend on many of the same factors as a non-beach wedding -- the number of guests, the size of the wedding party and the choice of the wedding-dress ($200-$5,000+), suit ($50-$1,500+), flowers ($700 average for a traditional wedding), wedding minister ($50-$400+), marriage license ($10-$100+) and more. Because a beach wedding is typically informal, it can be less expensive. And you can just invite VIPs to your wedding, and cover your parents's expense.Then it's possible.

This is not always true. A lot of more "informal" venues have hidden costs like chair & table rentals, possibly higher costs for catering, etc because you often have to supply all of those things and the location isn't typically set up for a big event. Just something to keep in mind.

southernbelle0915 · December 2017

judywedding2019 said:

Beach wedding costs depend on many of the same factors as a non-beach wedding -- the number of guests, the size of the wedding party and the choice of the wedding-dress ($200-$5,000+), suit ($50-$1,500+), flowers ($700 average for a traditional wedding), wedding minister ($50-$400+), marriage license ($10-$100+) and more. Because a beach wedding is typically informal, it can be less expensive. And you can just invite VIPs to your wedding, and cover your parents's expense.Then it's possible.

Huh?

You can choose to have an informal OR formal wedding anywhere. Beach weddings can be formal or informal. Church weddings can be formal or informal.

And you can choose to have a small wedding (with just VIPs) or big wedding anywhere. Beach weddings can be small or large. Church weddings can be small or large.

lyndausvi · December 2017

southernbelle0915 said:

judywedding2019 said:

Beach wedding costs depend on many of the same factors as a non-beach wedding -- the number of guests, the size of the wedding party and the choice of the wedding-dress ($200-$5,000+), suit ($50-$1,500+), flowers ($700 average for a traditional wedding), wedding minister ($50-$400+), marriage license ($10-$100+) and more. Because a beach wedding is typically informal, it can be less expensive. And you can just invite VIPs to your wedding, and cover your parents's expense.Then it's possible.

Huh?

You can choose to have an informal OR formal wedding anywhere. Beach weddings can be formal or informal. Church weddings can be formal or informal.

And you can choose to have a small wedding (with just VIPs) or big wedding anywhere. Beach weddings can be small or large. Church weddings can be small or large.

Yep.

My beach wedding had an informal vibe (DH wore linen pants and button down Tommy Bahama shirt). However, we had high end food and premium open bar. It wasn't cheap at all.

ashashashley · December 2017

missJeanLouise said:

ashashashley said:

Hi knotties,

I am burning with the idea of a beach wedding. I don't have much budget, and everyone has kind of told me how expensive a beaching wedding is or else it would end up as something ugly.

I live in LA, it's near the sea, while none of my fam is. They have to travel a long way here pls afford the hotel. There's no way my parents can afford this. But it burns as hell if I thought of giving up.

Anyone had a budget beach wedding? Any ideas? XOX.

There might be spots you can reserve to get married at that don’t cost too much. The #1 biggest cost of a wedding is normally the food and beverage. That number depends greatly on how many people you are inviting. So if you reserve a spot in a park (with enough chairs for everyone) and then take 10 people out to dinner for the reception, I would say that is a pretty inexpensive, etiquette approved wedding.

If you didn’t have the wedding in LA where would you do it? Where are your parents coming from?

My parents lives in Czech now. If not LA, then Nice in France. It's near to my parents and Michale knows a friend who offer us a travel package. BMs kindly offered they can contribute some cuz they can also take it as a chance to travel. While we have to abandon that idea, just no. So we are stuck in LA and I have to pay for my parents hotel and flights(2000$ at least).

We asked many caterers, and they said beach wedding definitely cost more if I want a decent beach wedding. Your park idea is also lovely, and more realistic considering our budget.

ashashashley · December 2017

charlotte989875 said:

Well you have a few options; 1) Limit the number of people you invite so that you keep your food/drink costs down and can properly host everyone with a meal. If you're asking people to travel I do agree you need to serve them a meal, regardless of the ceremony time. 2) Save up until you can afford the type of wedding that you want, even if that means pushing back your wedding date. 3) Have a wedding with just you and your FI on the beach.

I know the reality of planning the type of wedding you've always wanted, and having a budget that doesn't permit you do that is hard. But keep in mind what is most important to you, is it being married on a beach? Is it having your friends and family there? Or is it simply being married? None of these choices are wrong, you just have to focus on what is most important to you and your FI.

You're right. I guess the most important thing is to have my families there. We are expecting a little one and I can see the huge increase of living cost.

ashashashley · December 2017

ahoywedding said:

I think you and your FI need to talk about your priorities. It can be tough when what you've always dreamed of doesn't line up with what you can afford. Think about what would matter to you: is it having your friends & family attend? being on the beach? just doing the damn thing however that happens?

It seems like you're kind of acknowledging that your family may not be able to attend if you have the wedding where you're located. If that's something you're alright with, you could have just you & your FI on the beach.

If you want your family there, is there a beach located nearer to them? Or could you have a smaller wedding on the beach, invite only your immediate families, host them well (a low key dinner at a restaurant afterwards, possibly) and maybe chip in for part of their travel costs?

Would you be comfortable pushing the wedding back until you are able to afford everything you want?

So...I'm pregnant and that's why the rush. Nice in France is near to my parents and in that way my BMs can chip in and we can have a small wedding. But all those baby coming and future plans are too complicated to allow me thinking about a romantic honey moon in France. I have to give it up.

However, you see, beaching wedding is costly and if I had it in LA, it's unreasonable to let my BMs chip in. I guess It's so unfair. Also if it's in LA, there's no way you tell people "I am having a beach wedding but you are not invited, because we don't have money". A beach wedding is what I've dreamt for so long a time. But I guess I had to give it up.

ashashashley · December 2017

southernbelle0915 said:

A big portion of what makes outdoor weddings so expensive is that you have to have an indoor/sheltered Plan B. So you're basically paying for two venues and only using one. Another thing is that, often, outdoor weddings are all a la carte. So for example chairs don't come with a beach or a backyard - you have to pay to rent them, have them delivered, set up, torn down, picked up.

It's a lot of added expense that wouldn't normally be the case for a traditional wedding.

That's what I've heard.

ashashashley · December 2017

MobKaz said:

It burns as hell? It sounds like you have already given up on your dream wedding in France, followed by not hosting a reception for your guests so you and your FH can immediately start your honeymoon.

Perhaps you should seriously consider what you can afford versus your dream. You can actually get burned by planning a wedding with a budget that is not reality based.

I guess that's why I write a post, and that's why people discuss their troubles here. We all have dreams that we try to reach despite that reality sucks.

ashashashley · December 2017

judywedding2019 said:

Beach wedding costs depend on many of the same factors as a non-beach wedding -- the number of guests, the size of the wedding party and the choice of the wedding-dress ($200-$5,000+), suit ($50-$1,500+), flowers ($700 average for a traditional wedding), wedding minister ($50-$400+), marriage license ($10-$100+) and more. Because a beach wedding is typically informal, it can be less expensive. And you can just invite VIPs to your wedding, and cover your parents's expense.Then it's possible.

I don't know. A caterer gives me an offer today: food and drink($3000 for 50 people), decos($1000), venue includes table setting and stuff($2000). But her offer is not detailed and we guess eventually it can cost us at least $8000, if we are lucky. But it might not be very decent.

missJeanLouise · December 2017

ashashashley said:

missJeanLouise said:

ashashashley said:

Hi knotties,

I am burning with the idea of a beach wedding. I don't have much budget, and everyone has kind of told me how expensive a beaching wedding is or else it would end up as something ugly.

I live in LA, it's near the sea, while none of my fam is. They have to travel a long way here pls afford the hotel. There's no way my parents can afford this. But it burns as hell if I thought of giving up.

Anyone had a budget beach wedding? Any ideas? XOX.

There might be spots you can reserve to get married at that don’t cost too much. The #1 biggest cost of a wedding is normally the food and beverage. That number depends greatly on how many people you are inviting. So if you reserve a spot in a park (with enough chairs for everyone) and then take 10 people out to dinner for the reception, I would say that is a pretty inexpensive, etiquette approved wedding.

If you didn’t have the wedding in LA where would you do it? Where are your parents coming from?

My parents lives in Czech now. If not LA, then Nice in France. It's near to my parents and Michale knows a friend who offer us a travel package. BMs kindly offered they can contribute some cuz they can also take it as a chance to travel. While we have to abandon that idea, just no. So we are stuck in LA and I have to pay for my parents hotel and flights(2000$ at least).

We asked many caterers, and they said beach wedding definitely cost more if I want a decent beach wedding. Your park idea is also lovely, and more realistic considering our budget.

That’s the worst part of wedding planning. They tell you you can have anything but the reality is sacrifices and compromises.
How many people are you going to invite? Maybe you can pickup a credit card with good airline rewards points and *responsably* use it for things leading up to the wedding to help with airfare costs. I have friends that earned enough points to fly to Australia for Christmas in business class. But I would not recommend this as a way to pay for the wedding, just to use it for things you would normally put on a debit card.

ashashashley · December 2017

lyndausvi said:

You are so lucky. I don't find any place free for a wedding in LA. Most of the locations are bond to a contract with a company. And we can't just go down there to have a wedding randomly. Did you find a wedding planner or you take care of most of the things by yourself?

ashashashley · December 2017

missJeanLouise said:

ashashashley said:

missJeanLouise said:

That’s the worst part of wedding planning. They tell you you can have anything but the reality is sacrifices and compromises.
How many people are you going to invite? Maybe you can pickup a credit card with good airline rewards points and *responsably* use it for things leading up to the wedding to help with airfare costs. I have friends that earned enough points to fly to Australia for Christmas in business class. But I would not recommend this as a way to pay for the wedding, just to use it for things you would normally put on a debit card.

That is actually a great advice! Using credit card to win airline awards. That's genius. I can surely pay my wedding dress and Michale's suits with it. I'm on my way. Thank you so much!

missJeanLouise · December 2017

ashashashley said:

missJeanLouise said:

ashashashley said:

missJeanLouise said:

That’s the worst part of wedding planning. They tell you you can have anything but the reality is sacrifices and compromises.
How many people are you going to invite? Maybe you can pickup a credit card with good airline rewards points and *responsably* use it for things leading up to the wedding to help with airfare costs. I have friends that earned enough points to fly to Australia for Christmas in business class. But I would not recommend this as a way to pay for the wedding, just to use it for things you would normally put on a debit card.

That is actually a great advice! Using credit card to win airline awards. That's genius. I can surely pay my wedding dress and Michale's suits with it. I'm on my way. Thank you so much!

STAY IN BUDGET!!! For the love of god, please do not go into debt for a party. Do not ruin your life with credit card debt, only use it for things you would use a debit card for, things you absolutely have the money for.

Eta: not that I think OP would do this, just a word of warning for lurkers.

ahoywedding · December 2017

ashashashley said:

ahoywedding said:

I think you and your FI need to talk about your priorities. It can be tough when what you've always dreamed of doesn't line up with what you can afford. Think about what would matter to you: is it having your friends & family attend? being on the beach? just doing the damn thing however that happens?

It seems like you're kind of acknowledging that your family may not be able to attend if you have the wedding where you're located. If that's something you're alright with, you could have just you & your FI on the beach.

If you want your family there, is there a beach located nearer to them? Or could you have a smaller wedding on the beach, invite only your immediate families, host them well (a low key dinner at a restaurant afterwards, possibly) and maybe chip in for part of their travel costs?

Would you be comfortable pushing the wedding back until you are able to afford everything you want?

So...I'm pregnant and that's why the rush. Nice in France is near to my parents and in that way my BMs can chip in and we can have a small wedding. But all those baby coming and future plans are too complicated to allow me thinking about a romantic honey moon in France. I have to give it up.

However, you see, beaching wedding is costly and if I had it in LA, it's unreasonable to let my BMs chip in. I guess It's so unfair. Also if it's in LA, there's no way you tell people "I am having a beach wedding but you are not invited, because we don't have money". A beach wedding is what I've dreamt for so long a time. But I guess I had to give it up.

Not sure what you mean by that part, but the only people paying for the wedding should be you and your fiance (and parents if they offer). Unless your BMs have specifically said they'll kick in some money, don't plan around that.

STARMOON44 · December 2017

And even if your bridesmaids offer, just don’t let them. Your friends shouldn’t be paying for your wedding.

charlotte989875 · December 2017

STARMOON44 said:

And even if your bridesmaids offer, just don’t let them. Your friends shouldn’t be paying for your wedding.

This. So much this. It's great that your friends are offering, but I could never imagine taking my friends up on an offer to pay for a party. Part of being an adult is recognizing that while we may have dreams about how things are supposed to go, sometimes the reality is quite a bit different. Plan and host what you can afford.

lnixon8 · December 2017

ashashashley said:

ahoywedding said:

I think you and your FI need to talk about your priorities. It can be tough when what you've always dreamed of doesn't line up with what you can afford. Think about what would matter to you: is it having your friends & family attend? being on the beach? just doing the damn thing however that happens?

It seems like you're kind of acknowledging that your family may not be able to attend if you have the wedding where you're located. If that's something you're alright with, you could have just you & your FI on the beach.

If you want your family there, is there a beach located nearer to them? Or could you have a smaller wedding on the beach, invite only your immediate families, host them well (a low key dinner at a restaurant afterwards, possibly) and maybe chip in for part of their travel costs?

Would you be comfortable pushing the wedding back until you are able to afford everything you want?

So...I'm pregnant and that's why the rush. Nice in France is near to my parents and in that way my BMs can chip in and we can have a small wedding. But all those baby coming and future plans are too complicated to allow me thinking about a romantic honey moon in France. I have to give it up.

However, you see, beaching wedding is costly and if I had it in LA, it's unreasonable to let my BMs chip in. I guess It's so unfair. Also if it's in LA, there's no way you tell people "I am having a beach wedding but you are not invited, because we don't have money". A beach wedding is what I've dreamt for so long a time. But I guess I had to give it up.

SITB

You can still have a small wedding even if its local. You don't tell people they are not invited unless they bring it up (which is rude on their part). In that case just say "We wish we could invite everyone we wanted. Have you been watching This is Us/keeping up with Steelers/seen any good movies?"

To avoid people asking or assuming they are invited don't talk wedding details with these people. Coworkers may ask how its going, just answer politely and quickly and change the subject. Don't bring it up yourself.

MobKaz · December 2017

ashashashley said:

judywedding2019 said:

Beach wedding costs depend on many of the same factors as a non-beach wedding -- the number of guests, the size of the wedding party and the choice of the wedding-dress ($200-$5,000+), suit ($50-$1,500+), flowers ($700 average for a traditional wedding), wedding minister ($50-$400+), marriage license ($10-$100+) and more. Because a beach wedding is typically informal, it can be less expensive. And you can just invite VIPs to your wedding, and cover your parents's expense.Then it's possible.

I don't know. A caterer gives me an offer today: food and drink($3000 for 50 people), decos($1000), venue includes table setting and stuff($2000). But her offer is not detailed and we guess eventually it can cost us at least $8000, if we are lucky. But it might not be very decent.

My son lives in LA. There are many nice restaurants. It sounds as if you have an intimate >50 guest list. Look into finding a nice restaurant that has a small side or banquet room and consider hosting something there. You have said that the most important thing is to have your family with you. You have also mentioned that you are expecting.

A restaurant will be able to include table settings, and simple decor. "Decent" does not have to be fancy. Host your guests properly and the rest will be lovely.

CMGragain · December 2017

About a wedding in France - there is a 40 day residency requirement to get married in France.

knottieb4c19094377681e9 · December 2017

Never considered a beach wedding, so as those people who remind me that double wedding isn't a great idea for my friend and i. Beach wedding can be a total disaster and messed up.

missJeanLouise · December 2017

knottieb4c19094377681e9 said:

Never considered a beach wedding, so as those people who remind me that double wedding isn't a great idea for my friend and i. Beach wedding can be a total disaster and messed up.

Everything has the potential to be a total disaster. Some just have greater odds, like the odds of a snowstorm are greater in February than October, but there are some things you can easily plan for (weather) and others you can not plan for as easily (other people’s actions/reactions).

LondonLisa · January 2

Ditto @mobkaz There must be some restaurants in Los Angeles that offer a set menu and are close to the beach. Many have private rooms, and I bet there might be one with ocean views. Skip decorations, fancy dresses, fancy wedding cake etc. Have your BMs wear a dress in a hue/colour they already own (i.e. any purple or pink dress). There must be public parks/public beaches you can hire. Spend the money to fly your parents out- if you are pregnant, the last thing you will want to deal with is a 12 hour flight and planning a wedding with a 9 hour time difference.

Don't reinvent the wheel- a restaurant wedding reception could be incredibly easy for you. And it covers all linens/tables/servers etc (and often they have small candles etc already on the tables). Often times restaurants can work with your budget to offer 2-3 choices of starter/ 2-3 choices of main course/ and a dessert with wine on the table. It doesn't need to be a fancy restaurant- in fact a casual fish restaurant on the beach might be really fun!

Anyone tried a beaching wedding?

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