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Wedding Etiquette Forum
minealone
member
BM dresses?
initially I’d told my bridesmaids to buy any dress they want within a certain length/fabric and color, but nobody had done anything about it. Rather than make a big deal about it, I bought them each a dress as a gift. They’re set to arrive at the end of the month. My question is, since I bought them am I required to pay for alterations if needed or is it acceptable to expect them to? (They weren’t* bought at a bridal shop and can choose where to get it done if that makes a difference)
Re: BM dresses?
When is your wedding? If it's not for some time, they still had plenty of time to get the dresses.
ETA: This is the dress I wore in case you wanted to know:
In one respect, I would expect to pay for my own alterations, as it was nice of you to cover the cost of the dress, BUTTT I also wouldn't be super thrilled to pay $$$ for alterations on a dress I've never tried on and maybe you didn't choose the right size.
If you had said to me this length, fabric and colour, it would be my decision on how much to pay. And I'd go try on a bunch of dresses. Even if I LOVED one dress, if it didn't fit me great and needed to be altered a bunch, then I wouldn't buy it. If a $50 dress is too much for your (or some) BMs, any alterations beyond a basic hem are going to be more than that.
P.S. While it was nice of you to buy the dresses, please realize they are not gifts to your BMs. They are dresses that were required to be bought for your wedding.
theyre not intended to be my “bridesmaid gift” I’ve gotten them earrings, a clutch and a Starbucks gift card for that. Like I said, I just kind of blurted it out when she expressed her concern.
What I took from the conversation wasn’t the amount the dress cost (it was $92 at the time, I got it a few days later on Black Friday), it was more a hesitation at spending ANY money on an online store.
I really don’t think they would have an issue with it if I asked them to get it altered themselves, I predict they’ll offer to do it anyway since they asked me to drop off their dresses whenever we hang out next as opposed to scheduling a day where they can all come over and try them on. I’m wondering when I do deliver their dresses, should I say “hey btw if it needs any alterations let me know and I’ll take care of it”. Etiquette wise, what’s the right thing for me to do? I’m more dreading the logistics than anything else.
So for example, I've paid $130 for alterations and I've paid $20 depending on the fabric, complexity, and structure of a BM dress. If you chose a dress that's really expensive to alter (like to the point it could exceed what they would have spent on a dress they picked out), I think you should consider chipping in. If not, I wouldn't worry about it.
I hope they're returnable? I'd drop them off for each girl and say "let me know if there are any issues!" or something like that at least. What's your plan if 2 girls love it and one is like "No amount of alterations will ever make this look halfway decent"?
In general I think it's assumed the bridesmaid pays for her own alterations.
Assuming the bride picks a dress in their budget, normally it's acceptable for the bride to make them buy a dress AND get it altered. In your case its only the latter so I'd think even better!
The catch here is that they never tried the thing on first and got officially measured.
I know I once had to order a dress in October for a wedding in April. One of my three measurements was in their "plus size" category so I had to pay $20 extra for an extra large dress.
I lost 20lbs over the next six months... and I ended up having to pay almost $200 in alterations because the gal had to remake the whole back of the dress to take it in enough.
So a $180 dress turned into a $400 one.
This is a long winded way of saying: Maybe make sure girls know that if the size is way too big or if it's too small, that you'll exchange the dress for them so they don't have to spend a mint on alterations.