Has anyone here actually had a double wedding?

knottieb4c19094377681e9 · December 2017

I don't know if this is happening to anyone else or it just be me. My best friend were being engaged recently, i'm very happy for her. After discussing wedding details together we came up with the same idea that why don't we do a double-wedding. but after searching and studying we both found its a quite complected stuff to do. So, i was wondering if anyone been through all this, any advice would be appreciated.

missJeanLouise · December 2017

knottieb4c19094377681e9 said:

I don't know if this is happening to anyone else or it just be me. My best friend were being engaged recently, i'm very happy for her. After discussing wedding details together we came up with the same idea that why don't we do a double-wedding. but after searching and studying we both found its a quite complected stuff to do. So, i was wondering if anyone been through all this, any advice would be appreciated.

My friend did this because his fiancé is a twin and her sister also happened to be getting married. Since the two sisters had the same guest list they had a double wedding rather than making people travel twice. I wasn’t involved in the planning of it so I am of no help but just thought I would say it can be done.

Two friends sounds way more complicated though. What if the only time her grandparents can come is a bad time for your sibling? How will you split up finances? Honestly, it just sounds like a recipe for disaster, imo.

ahoywedding · December 2017

It sounds really fun, but the planning of it may be even more stressful than one wedding. If you have mostly the same friend group, that would help but then you'll have two extended families there, which might limit your venue options, etc. Plus all of the financial issues that come up during a wedding may be awkward to discuss with a friend (what if one of you has a much larger guest list? what if one of you wants something way fancier than the other? how do you agree on a date?).

I know you're not supposed to plan your own bachelorette or shower, but if the same people might be working on both of yours, you could have those events together!

southernbelle0915 · December 2017

Think about how difficult it can be to make decisions when you're planning a wedding with just your FI. Then add in your family/his family, if they're contributing. Now try adding another couple plus their families to the mix.

I wouldn't do this in a million years. No way, no how. The only way I see this actually working out is if:

1) the couples are the only ones paying (no family contributions/opinions);
2) each couple pays the same amount;
3) each couple gets the same number of guests;
4) if the couples' families are generally local;
5) if all 4 people have ZERO reservations about a joint wedding;
6) if all 4 people generally have the same wedding vision; and
7) if all 4 people are generally chill and not type A. Or maybe one type A person of the 4.

Otherwise, I just don't see that working out.

OliveOilsMom · December 2017

I recall a thread a while ago where the bride's FMIL wanted a double wedding for her kids, since they were both engaged at the same time. They were humoring her at first, but then she thought it was a go. In the end, I think the bride posting was told to present a united front to FMIL that the double wedding was a no go, as neither couple wanted one.

I think a double wedding with siblings could/can work. But I would say HELL NO to a double wedding between friends. That is a recipe for an ended friendship.

MissKittyDanger · December 2017

My dad's cousins are twins and they did a double wedding

Apparently they split the wedding costs and planned together since they had similar taste.

Depending on the friendship, it could work. It could also turn disastrous.

short+sassy · December 2017

I think it could, but is unlikely to work. At least with friends. I would have all the same caveats that @southernbelle0915 listed as to it maybe working.

I know I'm going way back in time. My grandparents had a double wedding in the late '40s, with grandma's sister and her FI. As far as I know, they were all happy to have done that and don't regret it. There is a pic I love from their wedding that is the two couples, in their wedding finery, standing in front of the church. Four joyful looking people. Two handsome men and two beautiful brides, in their beautiful dresses. But I might be biased .

eileenrob · December 2017

I went to a double Sweet 16 years ago (in my area sweet 16’s are wedding-like: fancy venue, cocktail hour, DJ, photographer etc). The girls were cousins and very close so logistically (and I guess financially for the parents) it made sense. But as a guest it was a little tedious- two grand entrances, two dances with Dad, two “16 candle” speeches. I feel like guests would spend too much time having to be a captive audience at a wedding with double the entrances, toasts or speeches, parent and first dances, cake cuttings, etc.

kaos16 · December 2017

Another thought. . . . what if your friendship with these people sours? Do you want to think back to a wonderful memory of your wedding and have them be such a huge part of it? Not to be a Debbie Downer, but it could happen.

short+sassy · December 2017

eileenrob said:

I went to a double Sweet 16 years ago (in my area sweet 16’s are wedding-like: fancy venue, cocktail hour, DJ, photographer etc). The girls were cousins and very close so logistically (and I guess financially for the parents) it made sense. But as a guest it was a little tedious- two grand entrances, two dances with Dad, two “16 candle” speeches. I feel like guests would spend too much time having to be a captive audience at a wedding with double the entrances, toasts or speeches, parent and first dances, cake cuttings, etc.

Now I would find that really weird! To me, it makes more logical sense that both the grand entrance and the dance with Dad would be done at the same time. Each girl especially doesn't need her own spotlight dance with dad. The double speeches I can better understand. But all the more reason to set limits, like maybe just the parents.

CharmedPam · December 2017

short+sassy said:

eileenrob said:

I went to a double Sweet 16 years ago (in my area sweet 16’s are wedding-like: fancy venue, cocktail hour, DJ, photographer etc). The girls were cousins and very close so logistically (and I guess financially for the parents) it made sense. But as a guest it was a little tedious- two grand entrances, two dances with Dad, two “16 candle” speeches. I feel like guests would spend too much time having to be a captive audience at a wedding with double the entrances, toasts or speeches, parent and first dances, cake cuttings, etc.

Now I would find that really weird! To me, it makes more logical sense that both the grand entrance and the dance with Dad would be done at the same time. Each girl especially doesn't need her own spotlight dance with dad. The double speeches I can better understand. But all the more reason to set limits, like maybe just the parents.

I could have cut my dances short. I found them to be really long. Our song was "right here waiting for you" (yes the wedding was in 2016) which is a long song anyway!

When I first read this, I thought "nope" but then PP made valid points with twins/siblings. If all four involved is OK with it, why not?

downtondiva · December 2017

For brides within the same family, I can see a double wedding working out, as PP'ave have mentioned above. But for friends, I'm not a big fan of the idea. At the very least, that's potentially a lot of guests and a lot of VIP's whose schedules you need to consider. Then, of course, you have to keep in mind how finances will be split up and who gets to decide what in regard to details. I don't know how comfortable you are speaking openly about your financial situation with your friend, but you won't have a choice if you decide to do a double wedding. If your financial situations are very different, that could also be a problem; that sometimes causes tension in friendships even when there isn't anything as big as a wedding involved.

Wedding planning can be challenging enough for one couple getting married, so having to accommodate two couples at the same event could get very complicated and lose its charm very fast. I hate to be a downer, but I think this is something that could end up as a fight with your friend rather than a fun shared experience.

judywedding2019 · December 2017

I think that would be pretty awesome! If you and her don't think it will "take away" anything, then I would say go for it. Especially if you guys can split the costs. It sounds like you are really close with your friend and I think that's super great. I also think it is pretty great that you would think of your friend's benefit enough to share your wedding day with her. lot of people seem to think that if the world doesn't revolve around them completely at their wedding, it was ruined.

WinstonsGirl · December 2017

Not my cup of tea, but I have some minor control issues that wouldn't work well in a situation like this. I feel like there is too much potential here to end up hating your friend in the end

Jen4948 · December 2017

I suppose a double wedding could work if it involved two couples in the same family. But it's very risky, because if one of the couples later splits or becomes distant from the other, it will sour the memories of the other couple -- not to mention all the joint decisions and planning that would need to be made.

So I wouldn't go for it.

knottieb4c19094377681e9 · December 2017

Thank you all for the comments i'd take a serious consideration

lyndausvi · December 2017

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5182281/Trio-sisters-marry-sweethearts-TRIPLE-ceremony.html

Just saw this today. I think it would better with siblings since at least that side have shared guests. 4 unrelated people would have more sets of family. Sounds like a nightmare.

knottieb4c19094377681e9 · December 2017

After consulting with some wedding planning company and asking for my friend's idea we finally decided try not to do it together. all i wanna say is thank you all for the advice and your opinion

short+sassy · December 2017

knottieb4c19094377681e9 said:

After consulting with some wedding planning company and asking for my friend's idea we finally decided try not to do it together. all i wanna say is thank you all for the advice and your opinion

I hope you both have beautiful and wonderful wedding days!

And it can still be fun to bounce ideas off each other and talk about planning, since you will both be in "wedding mode".

knottie77380c59bc9c88ec · January 2018

congrats though

Has anyone here actually had a double wedding?

Re: Has anyone here actually had a double wedding?

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