Etiquette

Paying for Guest Parking

2

Re: Paying for Guest Parking

  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    edited January 3
    If you can't afford to hire a valet service, or pay for onsite parking for your guests, then I wouldn't get too stressed over it.

    Your guests are adults, I'm sure they can figure it out, and as long as you are properly hosting the rest of your even (no gap, enough seating for everyone, enough food and drink) then having to pay for parking or an Uber isn't really that big of a deal.

    In an ideal world you wouldn't have counted on money before it was in hand, but shit happens and you learn.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    STARMOON44thisismynickname2cupcait927
  • edited January 4
    So curious about what people think about venue parking? What if the venue has parking but it’s paid only— would the couple be expected to pay for parking then? 

    I guess the the way I see it is once people get to the venue location they should not be expected to pay for anything, including entering a parking lot/ramp. If there are a bunch of free spaces around then sure, no problem there’s accessible free parking. If people opt to take a cab instead of walk from free parking, awesome. But I think it gets blurry when the only parking options are all paid places AND it’s a city/location where driving is the primary means of transportation. 

    ETF spelling.
    ahoyweddingsouthernbelle0915
  • So curious about what people think about venue parking? What if the venue has parking but it’s paid only— would the couple be expected to pay for parking then? 

    I guess the the way I see it is once people get to the venue location they should be expected to pay for anything, including entering a parking lot/ramp. If there are a bunch of free spaces around then sure, no problem there’s accessible free parking. If people opt to take a cab instead of walk from free parking, awesome. But I think it gets blurry when the only parking options are all paid places AND it’s a city/location where driving is the primary means of transportation. 

    I mentioned this in my original post on here but, yes, I think they should.  I'd even be okay with paying for spots at a cheaper place within about a block or so (very short distance).

    I can see where there are gray lines, though.

    I was even expanding my thoughts to "If a toll is involved, does the wedding couple have to pay the tolls?  How would they even do that?"  I decided on "no" for my own question, lol.

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    charlotte989875InLoveInQueens
  • I am literally shocked at how aggressive everyone is on these boards.

    Right now the options we truly can afford (NOT are willing to pay for) are: we either completely leave it up to people to figure out/pay for OR we still leave it up for people to figure out/pay for but pay the service fee to have one of their many same-priced options be service at the door. To me, the latter seems like a no-brainer, but apparently half-offering convenience merely sheds light on my inept hosting abilities. Emily Post must be rolling in her grave. 
  • I am literally shocked at how aggressive everyone is on these boards.

    Right now the options we truly can afford (NOT are willing to pay for) are: we either completely leave it up to people to figure out/pay for OR we still leave it up for people to figure out/pay for but pay the service fee to have one of their many same-priced options be service at the door. To me, the latter seems like a no-brainer, but apparently half-offering convenience merely sheds light on my inept hosting abilities. Emily Post must be rolling in her grave. 
    No one is actually getting aggressive, we're bringing up all sides of the issue and everyone has made pretty good points. In the end, it depends on a few things: how many of your guest are traveling, how many of them are familiar with the area, what the options are for public transit/taxi/Uber in your area, how much you're willing to adjust your budget for guest comfort, etc. Everyone gave pretty good personal examples, there's got to be one that fits closely to your situation. I think either way you go about it, if you have guests coming from outside the area, you should point out where the available parking is. 
    InLoveInQueens
  • @banana468 - Both you and @STARMOON44 make really good points, but I will have to agree to disagree here.

    The bottom line for me is that once I get to the venue - whether I drive, take a scooter, or whatever - I shouldn't have any incurred costs and I shouldn't have to hike to get there. Whether the couple decides to get married in a city or at a farm, this should be part of their budget and venue choice. To me anyway...

    For the record, I agree with you that it's not as black and white as a cash bar, not having chairs, etc. 
    *********************************************************************************

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    charlotte989875InLoveInQueensjustsieSP29
  • FWIW, I also think locale comes into play here
    If you chose the one place in your city lacking parking that's poor planning.    If this is common (ex: many locations in Manhattan) then I'm softer on it.
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair
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    edited January 4
    So curious about what people think about venue parking? What if the venue has parking but it’s paid only— would the couple be expected to pay for parking then? 

    I guess the the way I see it is once people get to the venue location they should be expected to pay for anything, including entering a parking lot/ramp. If there are a bunch of free spaces around then sure, no problem there’s accessible free parking. If people opt to take a cab instead of walk from free parking, awesome. But I think it gets blurry when the only parking options are all paid places AND it’s a city/location where driving is the primary means of transportation. 
    This is where I am, too. In other threads where it's a pay-only to park venue or required valet, we always advise that the couple picks up the tab since guests shouldn't have to pay for anything once they're at the venue. 

    This situation is basically that PLUS making them walk. I remember a thread where a couple was getting married at a beach and there were only like 10 FREE parking spots at the entrance to the beach. A quarter mile or so down the road, there was a big lot where lots of people could park (also FREE). She was asking if that was ok or if she should have a shuttle. I don't think there was one reg on here who didn't shame her crappy planning and tell her to get a shuttle. I will reiterate: that parking was FREE. 

    This person wants to make guests pay AND make them walk. It's ok because it's a city? IMO, no. You choose to get married in a city (or wherever) you need to cover these kinds of costs and not make your guests hike to your event.
    2 or three blocks of walking versus a quarter mile is a huge difference.

    If guests don't want to or can't walk, they can get dropped off at the entrance to OP's venue, get a taxi, get an Uber, carpool, etc.  Lots of options.

    I'm with Starmoon and others in that I don't see this as a big deal.  This isn't on the level of a gap or lack of chairs or a cash bar.

    The guests can figure out how they are going to get to the venue and where they are going to park, even if they have to pay for it and walk.  If I were OP I wouldn't kill myself trying to rework my budget over this one.

    And for the record we paid for some valet parking, but most guests did not utilize it.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    STARMOON44thisismynickname2short+sassy
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    edited January 4
    MandyMost said:
    Good grief. How is walking 3 blocks in heels not ok, but standing around in heels for cocktail hour or dancing for a few hours in heels IS ok?

    I completely agree that if the venue requires paid parking (i.e. state park), the host should pay it. But if your venue does not require paid parking, all transit costs are on the guest. If they do not like the available transportation format or costs associated, they can choose not to come. 

    If everyone had this thinking that 3 blocks isn't "right" then no venue in any city would ever have business and all weddings would be in banquet halls with massive parking lots. Eye roll. 

    3 blocks isn't "right" when you know most of your guests will be driving AND you had the option, but turned it down, to have valet parking on site.

    I've personally never driven to a city venue and then had to walk 3 blocks to the wedding--I've been to city venues  where I took a taxi/uber from a hotel, was provided transportation from a hotel, valet parked after driving from home, or parked at an onsite or adjacent garage after driving from home. Have you ever had to walk 3 blocks to a wedding?

    Point being: there are plenty of ways that city venues without onsite parking can have weddings without requiring guests to walk 3 blocks. 
    Like this one!!! There is no reason why her guests can’t uber or taxi if they don’t want to walk three blocks. 
    Assuming the area has Uber and taxis, it can take a long time for Ubers et al to be available after calling. If the ceremony ends at 5pm, an Uber won't necessarily be available at 5pm to pick someone up after the ceremony and drive them. I've used Uber before and had to wait as long as 20 minutes. I don't think guests want to wait 20 minutes for an Uber, and they can't call during the ceremony to pre-arrange it.

    Also, for many people, like elderly persons, small children and people with health or mobility issues, walking three blocks isn't safe. And people who are not familiar with the area could get lost. Nor should anyone have to pay for parking and then walk three blocks. That's what's "ridiculous."
    ahoywedding
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
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    Jen4948 said:
    MandyMost said:
    Good grief. How is walking 3 blocks in heels not ok, but standing around in heels for cocktail hour or dancing for a few hours in heels IS ok?

    I completely agree that if the venue requires paid parking (i.e. state park), the host should pay it. But if your venue does not require paid parking, all transit costs are on the guest. If they do not like the available transportation format or costs associated, they can choose not to come. 

    If everyone had this thinking that 3 blocks isn't "right" then no venue in any city would ever have business and all weddings would be in banquet halls with massive parking lots. Eye roll. 

    3 blocks isn't "right" when you know most of your guests will be driving AND you had the option, but turned it down, to have valet parking on site.

    I've personally never driven to a city venue and then had to walk 3 blocks to the wedding--I've been to city venues  where I took a taxi/uber from a hotel, was provided transportation from a hotel, valet parked after driving from home, or parked at an onsite or adjacent garage after driving from home. Have you ever had to walk 3 blocks to a wedding?

    Point being: there are plenty of ways that city venues without onsite parking can have weddings without requiring guests to walk 3 blocks. 
    Like this one!!! There is no reason why her guests can’t uber or taxi if they don’t want to walk three blocks. 
    Assuming the area has Uber and taxis, it can take a long time for Ubers et al to be available after calling. If the ceremony ends at 5pm, an Uber won't necessarily be available at 5pm to pick someone up after the ceremony and drive them. I've used Uber before and had to wait as long as 20 minutes. I don't think guests want to wait 20 minutes for an Uber, and they can't call during the ceremony to pre-arrange it.

    Also, for many people, like elderly persons, small children and people with health or mobility issues, walking three blocks isn't safe. And people who are not familiar with the area could get lost. Nor should anyone have to pay for parking and then walk three blocks. That's what's "ridiculous."
    I don’t know how some people survive in the world. 
    Yeah, I think this is a little much. 

    Honestly, I think there's a little abelism going on in this thread. The "walking three blocks isn't a big" attitude is assuming everyone can walk, or walk that distance. Or that you know who can or cannot walk that distance. And yes it is on individuals to "figure it out" but as a host it's on you to make your event accessible to all the people you invite. 
    It's not ableist. It's knowing that adults can figure stuff out on their own. Several of my husband's aunts and uncles are all pretty much disabled- not by sight, they're not in wheelchairs, but they're people who can't walk much farther than a block. You know what'd they'd do if confronted with a parking garage three blocks from where they want to be? Have their spouse or kid drop them at the door, and the dropper-offer would be capable of going back, parking, and walking. And if for some odd reason that wasn't an option, they'd still figure out how to get themselves to the door or they'd decline the invitation. 
    ________________________________


    kahluakoalaPrettyGirlLostSTARMOON44
  • kahluakoalakahluakoala
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited January 4
    Jen4948 said:
    MandyMost said:
    Good grief. How is walking 3 blocks in heels not ok, but standing around in heels for cocktail hour or dancing for a few hours in heels IS ok?

    I completely agree that if the venue requires paid parking (i.e. state park), the host should pay it. But if your venue does not require paid parking, all transit costs are on the guest. If they do not like the available transportation format or costs associated, they can choose not to come. 

    If everyone had this thinking that 3 blocks isn't "right" then no venue in any city would ever have business and all weddings would be in banquet halls with massive parking lots. Eye roll. 

    3 blocks isn't "right" when you know most of your guests will be driving AND you had the option, but turned it down, to have valet parking on site.

    I've personally never driven to a city venue and then had to walk 3 blocks to the wedding--I've been to city venues  where I took a taxi/uber from a hotel, was provided transportation from a hotel, valet parked after driving from home, or parked at an onsite or adjacent garage after driving from home. Have you ever had to walk 3 blocks to a wedding?

    Point being: there are plenty of ways that city venues without onsite parking can have weddings without requiring guests to walk 3 blocks. 
    Like this one!!! There is no reason why her guests can’t uber or taxi if they don’t want to walk three blocks. 
    Assuming the area has Uber and taxis, it can take a long time for Ubers et al to be available after calling. If the ceremony ends at 5pm, an Uber won't necessarily be available at 5pm to pick someone up after the ceremony and drive them. I've used Uber before and had to wait as long as 20 minutes. I don't think guests want to wait 20 minutes for an Uber, and they can't call during the ceremony to pre-arrange it.

    Also, for many people, like elderly persons, small children and people with health or mobility issues, walking three blocks isn't safe. And people who are not familiar with the area could get lost. Nor should anyone have to pay for parking and then walk three blocks. That's what's "ridiculous."
    I don’t know how some people survive in the world. 
    Yeah, I think this is a little much. 

    Honestly, I think there's a little abelism going on in this thread. The "walking three blocks isn't a big" attitude is assuming everyone can walk, or walk that distance. Or that you know who can or cannot walk that distance. And yes it is on individuals to "figure it out" but as a host it's on you to make your event accessible to all the people you invite. 
    It's not ableist. It's knowing that adults can figure stuff out on their own. Several of my husband's aunts and uncles are all pretty much disabled- not by sight, they're not in wheelchairs, but they're people who can't walk much farther than a block. You know what'd they'd do if confronted with a parking garage three blocks from where they want to be? Have their spouse or kid drop them at the door, and the dropper-offer would be capable of going back, parking, and walking. And if for some odd reason that wasn't an option, they'd still figure out how to get themselves to the door or they'd decline the invitation
    Okay, I disagree. If I invite someone to an event I want it to be accessible to them so they can attend, not feel like if they couldn't "figure it out" they have to decline. 

    I just think it's a pretty privileged position to not consider accessibility when planning an event and just assume it's on your guests to figure it out. 

    If someone has a mobility issue I'd hope they'd contact me with their issue before declining so then *I* could help them figure it out. I still think it's ok to plan for the majority and be ready to accommodate exceptions. Kind of like how your meals can be planned for most people and then someone will contact you if they're vegan, celiac, have allergies, etc. 

    Also, people with disabilities may have a disability sticker which will then enable them to have a few specific options in the "limited but free" street parking.
    STARMOON44PrettyGirlLostILoveBeachMusic
  • I'm not entirely sure that people totally understand what we're trying to do...

    We are by no means making guests pay AND walk, unless they choose that option. Valet at my venue costs about $2500 for the night once tips are accounted for, if we completely pay on our own dime. The option I bring up is paying the service fee to have the valet come out in the first place and then having guests pay the parking fee itself. It would be the same cost as the self-pay garage but they would NOT have to walk. 

    From everything I've read on the Knot and elsewhere, etiquette states that the cost of transportation and parking is on the guest. I take that logic, in light of my knowledge that the only real self-park option is quite a bit away, to come up with the idea that we pay to have the valet offered, but then guests pay to have the car parked at a discounted rate which would be equal to the cost of the garage, and probably less than the cost of Uber/Lyft/taxi. I'm essentially footing the bill for offering the convenience. 

    $2500 is pretty steep. We're doing a lot ourselves (photographer in the family, mom is a florist, friends with the band) and already have planned not to have some less necessary elements (favors, programs), so any cuts we make aside from open bar or dinner won't really make up that difference. 
  • @SoonToBeSmith0512, for what it's worth, that is exactly the situation I was picturing.  That the venue doesn't normally have valet parking, but they'll hook that up for an additional fee.  Though I wasn't picturing that fee as steep as $2500.  That is something I normally don't think etiquette would require a host to pay for.  Since valet services are not normally offered anyway.

    But the rest of my post is the general conundrum I'm having, and some of the other PPs, of "does a 3-block walk mean being too far"?

    This is probably picking hairs, but some of it would depend on how long those blocks are, lol.  In a city environment, I'm assuming they're long.

    I'm still not sure how I feel about that.  I more lean on the side of most/all people can handle it and/or do a drop off.  But, then again, I definitely hear not wanting to make life more difficult for guests who might have mobility issues.  But a $2500 cost to make a guest(s), who might have a mobility issue, more comfortable does sound like an over-the-top option. 

    ---------------------------------------------------------- 

    It's not quite related, but I just can't help but mention it and it's a good example of the impossible difficulties cities can have with parking.  I was recently on a local forum board for the newspaper.  And some tourist was super angry and appalled that the restaurants in the French Quarter don't have their own parking lots.  And they were so upset because his disabled mother couldn't go anywhere.

    You could almost feel the confusion and head tilt from everyone.  I get it, I probably can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to have a mobility issue.  But, exactly where does this guy think magical parking lots are going to go?  That's pricy real estate.  For a restaurant to buy a lot next to it.  Then retrofit it to be a parking structure.  Starting at $100 million would probably be a bargain price.  And I'm just giving the guy the benefit of the doubt that he would have no way to know that anything "modern", like a parking structure, would no longer be allowed to be built in the FQ anyway.

    As an aside, there are a few pay parking structures.  But you'll pay $30+ and still have to walk a few blocks for some of the restaurants. 

    This is hardly a unique situation for most cities, smh.

    At any rate, that's my long way to say, I think it's important that as a society we make life as fair for people as possible.  Especially those facing mobility/medical issues.  But life isn't fair.  And sometimes there is nothing that can be done or nothing that can be done that isn't prohibitive.  Those are the punches we have to roll with sometimes. 

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    STARMOON44
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    @SoonToBeSmith0512, for what it's worth, that is exactly the situation I was picturing.  That the venue doesn't normally have valet parking, but they'll hook that up for an additional fee.  Though I wasn't picturing that fee as steep as $2500.  That is something I normally don't think etiquette would require a host to pay for.  Since valet services are not normally offered anyway.

    But the rest of my post is the general conundrum I'm having, and some of the other PPs, of "does a 3-block walk mean being too far"?

    This is probably picking hairs, but some of it would depend on how long those blocks are, lol.  In a city environment, I'm assuming they're long.

    I'm still not sure how I feel about that.  I more lean on the side of most/all people can handle it and/or do a drop off.  But, then again, I definitely hear not wanting to make life more difficult for guests who might have mobility issues.  But a $2500 cost to make a guest(s), who might have a mobility issue, more comfortable does sound like an over-the-top option. 

    ---------------------------------------------------------- 

    It's not quite related, but I just can't help but mention it and it's a good example of the impossible difficulties cities can have with parking.  I was recently on a local forum board for the newspaper.  And some tourist was super angry and appalled that the restaurants in the French Quarter don't have their own parking lots.  And they were so upset because his disabled mother couldn't go anywhere.

    You could almost feel the confusion and head tilt from everyone.  I get it, I probably can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to have a mobility issue.  But, exactly where does this guy think magical parking lots are going to go?  That's pricy real estate.  For a restaurant to buy a lot next to it.  Then retrofit it to be a parking structure.  Starting at $100 million would probably be a bargain price.  And I'm just giving the guy the benefit of the doubt that he would have no way to know that anything "modern", like a parking structure, would no longer be allowed to be built in the FQ anyway.

    As an aside, there are a few pay parking structures.  But you'll pay $30+ and still have to walk a few blocks for some of the restaurants. 

    This is hardly a unique situation for most cities, smh.

    At any rate, that's my long way to say, I think it's important that as a society we make life as fair for people as possible.  Especially those facing mobility/medical issues.  But life isn't fair.  And sometimes there is nothing that can be done or nothing that can be done that isn't prohibitive.  Those are the punches we have to roll with sometimes. 

    Some people can make a three-block walk while dressed up just fine. Others can't. Assuming that just because most people can, everyone should, is where you (generic) are going to run into problems.

    If the situation requires paying for parking and then walking three blocks, I think it would be fair to expect anyone who can't make a three-block walk to call you to ask for additional help.


    short+sassy
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado
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    @SoonToBeSmith0512, for what it's worth, that is exactly the situation I was picturing.  That the venue doesn't normally have valet parking, but they'll hook that up for an additional fee.  Though I wasn't picturing that fee as steep as $2500.  That is something I normally don't think etiquette would require a host to pay for.  Since valet services are not normally offered anyway.

    But the rest of my post is the general conundrum I'm having, and some of the other PPs, of "does a 3-block walk mean being too far"?

    This is probably picking hairs, but some of it would depend on how long those blocks are, lol.  In a city environment, I'm assuming they're long.

    I'm still not sure how I feel about that.  I more lean on the side of most/all people can handle it and/or do a drop off.  But, then again, I definitely hear not wanting to make life more difficult for guests who might have mobility issues.  But a $2500 cost to make a guest(s), who might have a mobility issue, more comfortable does sound like an over-the-top option. 

    ---------------------------------------------------------- 

    It's not quite related, but I just can't help but mention it and it's a good example of the impossible difficulties cities can have with parking.  I was recently on a local forum board for the newspaper.  And some tourist was super angry and appalled that the restaurants in the French Quarter don't have their own parking lots.  And they were so upset because his disabled mother couldn't go anywhere.

    You could almost feel the confusion and head tilt from everyone.  I get it, I probably can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to have a mobility issue.  But, exactly where does this guy think magical parking lots are going to go?  That's pricy real estate.  For a restaurant to buy a lot next to it.  Then retrofit it to be a parking structure.  Starting at $100 million would probably be a bargain price.  And I'm just giving the guy the benefit of the doubt that he would have no way to know that anything "modern", like a parking structure, would no longer be allowed to be built in the FQ anyway.

    As an aside, there are a few pay parking structures.  But you'll pay $30+ and still have to walk a few blocks for some of the restaurants. 

    This is hardly a unique situation for most cities, smh.

    At any rate, that's my long way to say, I think it's important that as a society we make life as fair for people as possible.  Especially those facing mobility/medical issues.  But life isn't fair.  And sometimes there is nothing that can be done or nothing that can be done that isn't prohibitive.  Those are the punches we have to roll with sometimes. 

    FQ is the worst, but what is the alternative?   That part of town was built BEFORE cars.   The streets are narrow and in some cases not even enough room for on street parking.   Empty lots to make a parking lot/garage just do not exist.     And like you said, it's a historical district they wouldn't be allowed anyway. 

    Heck, FQ getting decent sidewalks for people with mobility issues was barely approved and that was only because it was contingent  to get the Super Bowl.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    short+sassy
  • Jen4948 said:

    @SoonToBeSmith0512, for what it's worth, that is exactly the situation I was picturing.  That the venue doesn't normally have valet parking, but they'll hook that up for an additional fee.  Though I wasn't picturing that fee as steep as $2500.  That is something I normally don't think etiquette would require a host to pay for.  Since valet services are not normally offered anyway.

    But the rest of my post is the general conundrum I'm having, and some of the other PPs, of "does a 3-block walk mean being too far"?

    This is probably picking hairs, but some of it would depend on how long those blocks are, lol.  In a city environment, I'm assuming they're long.

    I'm still not sure how I feel about that.  I more lean on the side of most/all people can handle it and/or do a drop off.  But, then again, I definitely hear not wanting to make life more difficult for guests who might have mobility issues.  But a $2500 cost to make a guest(s), who might have a mobility issue, more comfortable does sound like an over-the-top option. 

    ---------------------------------------------------------- 

    It's not quite related, but I just can't help but mention it and it's a good example of the impossible difficulties cities can have with parking.  I was recently on a local forum board for the newspaper.  And some tourist was super angry and appalled that the restaurants in the French Quarter don't have their own parking lots.  And they were so upset because his disabled mother couldn't go anywhere.

    You could almost feel the confusion and head tilt from everyone.  I get it, I probably can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to have a mobility issue.  But, exactly where does this guy think magical parking lots are going to go?  That's pricy real estate.  For a restaurant to buy a lot next to it.  Then retrofit it to be a parking structure.  Starting at $100 million would probably be a bargain price.  And I'm just giving the guy the benefit of the doubt that he would have no way to know that anything "modern", like a parking structure, would no longer be allowed to be built in the FQ anyway.

    As an aside, there are a few pay parking structures.  But you'll pay $30+ and still have to walk a few blocks for some of the restaurants. 

    This is hardly a unique situation for most cities, smh.

    At any rate, that's my long way to say, I think it's important that as a society we make life as fair for people as possible.  Especially those facing mobility/medical issues.  But life isn't fair.  And sometimes there is nothing that can be done or nothing that can be done that isn't prohibitive.  Those are the punches we have to roll with sometimes. 

    Some people can make a three-block walk while dressed up just fine. Others can't. Assuming that just because most people can, everyone should, is where you (generic) are going to run into problems.

    If the situation requires paying for parking and then walking three blocks, I think it would be fair to expect anyone who can't make a three-block walk to call you to ask for additional help.


    It. Doesn’t. And that is a ridiculous thought. People who cannot walk three blocks can make other arrangements and no, you should not expect them all to be calling the bride about it. 
    PrettyGirlLost
  • @SoonToBeSmith0512, for what it's worth, that is exactly the situation I was picturing.  That the venue doesn't normally have valet parking, but they'll hook that up for an additional fee.  Though I wasn't picturing that fee as steep as $2500.  That is something I normally don't think etiquette would require a host to pay for.  Since valet services are not normally offered anyway.

    But the rest of my post is the general conundrum I'm having, and some of the other PPs, of "does a 3-block walk mean being too far"?

    This is probably picking hairs, but some of it would depend on how long those blocks are, lol.  In a city environment, I'm assuming they're long.

    I'm still not sure how I feel about that.  I more lean on the side of most/all people can handle it and/or do a drop off.  But, then again, I definitely hear not wanting to make life more difficult for guests who might have mobility issues.  But a $2500 cost to make a guest(s), who might have a mobility issue, more comfortable does sound like an over-the-top option. 

    ---------------------------------------------------------- 

    It's not quite related, but I just can't help but mention it and it's a good example of the impossible difficulties cities can have with parking.  I was recently on a local forum board for the newspaper.  And some tourist was super angry and appalled that the restaurants in the French Quarter don't have their own parking lots.  And they were so upset because his disabled mother couldn't go anywhere.

    You could almost feel the confusion and head tilt from everyone.  I get it, I probably can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to have a mobility issue.  But, exactly where does this guy think magical parking lots are going to go?  That's pricy real estate.  For a restaurant to buy a lot next to it.  Then retrofit it to be a parking structure.  Starting at $100 million would probably be a bargain price.  And I'm just giving the guy the benefit of the doubt that he would have no way to know that anything "modern", like a parking structure, would no longer be allowed to be built in the FQ anyway.

    As an aside, there are a few pay parking structures.  But you'll pay $30+ and still have to walk a few blocks for some of the restaurants. 

    This is hardly a unique situation for most cities, smh.

    At any rate, that's my long way to say, I think it's important that as a society we make life as fair for people as possible.  Especially those facing mobility/medical issues.  But life isn't fair.  And sometimes there is nothing that can be done or nothing that can be done that isn't prohibitive.  Those are the punches we have to roll with sometimes. 

    Yes. This is the reality of cities. 
    short+sassy
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    edited January 5
    Jen4948 said:

    @SoonToBeSmith0512, for what it's worth, that is exactly the situation I was picturing.  That the venue doesn't normally have valet parking, but they'll hook that up for an additional fee.  Though I wasn't picturing that fee as steep as $2500.  That is something I normally don't think etiquette would require a host to pay for.  Since valet services are not normally offered anyway.

    But the rest of my post is the general conundrum I'm having, and some of the other PPs, of "does a 3-block walk mean being too far"?

    This is probably picking hairs, but some of it would depend on how long those blocks are, lol.  In a city environment, I'm assuming they're long.

    I'm still not sure how I feel about that.  I more lean on the side of most/all people can handle it and/or do a drop off.  But, then again, I definitely hear not wanting to make life more difficult for guests who might have mobility issues.  But a $2500 cost to make a guest(s), who might have a mobility issue, more comfortable does sound like an over-the-top option. 

    ---------------------------------------------------------- 

    It's not quite related, but I just can't help but mention it and it's a good example of the impossible difficulties cities can have with parking.  I was recently on a local forum board for the newspaper.  And some tourist was super angry and appalled that the restaurants in the French Quarter don't have their own parking lots.  And they were so upset because his disabled mother couldn't go anywhere.

    You could almost feel the confusion and head tilt from everyone.  I get it, I probably can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to have a mobility issue.  But, exactly where does this guy think magical parking lots are going to go?  That's pricy real estate.  For a restaurant to buy a lot next to it.  Then retrofit it to be a parking structure.  Starting at $100 million would probably be a bargain price.  And I'm just giving the guy the benefit of the doubt that he would have no way to know that anything "modern", like a parking structure, would no longer be allowed to be built in the FQ anyway.

    As an aside, there are a few pay parking structures.  But you'll pay $30+ and still have to walk a few blocks for some of the restaurants. 

    This is hardly a unique situation for most cities, smh.

    At any rate, that's my long way to say, I think it's important that as a society we make life as fair for people as possible.  Especially those facing mobility/medical issues.  But life isn't fair.  And sometimes there is nothing that can be done or nothing that can be done that isn't prohibitive.  Those are the punches we have to roll with sometimes. 

    Some people can make a three-block walk while dressed up just fine. Others can't. Assuming that just because most people can, everyone should, is where you (generic) are going to run into problems.

    If the situation requires paying for parking and then walking three blocks, I think it would be fair to expect anyone who can't make a three-block walk to call you to ask for additional help.


    It. Doesn’t. And that is a ridiculous thought. People who cannot walk three blocks can make other arrangements and no, you should not expect them all to be calling the bride about it. 
    I think you misunderstood my meaning because you were too busy putting it down as "ridiculous."

    I don't think that anyone should call the couple for additional help. But I do think that it's possible that some guests might. That's not the same as "should."

    So if the couple/hosts aren't going to provide additional help to these guests, they might have to accept that if these guests can't make other arrangements, they might well not come.

    And depending on the locality, other arrangements might not be available. Or, depending on the other person's limitations, they might not be able to make them.

    For example, my parents and my ex-BF's mother cannot walk three blocks because of physical limitations (they are elderly, my dad has arthritis in his knee, my mom is a cancer survivor with lung trouble and gets winded, and my ex-BF's mother had to have a hip replacement several years ago), so if they were expected to walk three blocks, they might well decline an invitation that requires it if they're in an area where Uber or other alternatives aren't available.  Uber and Lyft aren't available everywhere.

    Also, my ex-BF's mother is a Luddite when it comes to the Internet (she doesn't have an Internet connection at all in her house). It's highly unlikely that she would use Uber, Lyft or a similar service. She also seldom travels away from her home area, so she would have a very hard time "fending for herself" if she were to accept an invitation that required her to travel to another region to attend a wedding.
  • So to slightly change the topic, regardless of which option we choose, what’s the best way to inform guests of the parking situation? We plan to add the info to the wedding website but knowing not everyone will look there, is word of mouth our second line of defense? We won’t be having a map insert or anything in the invitation suite. 
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