Wedding Woes

Leave them alone. You're a nightmare.

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Re: Leave them alone. You're a nightmare.

  • Warning: feminist rant

    I'll also add that I get really sick of women having to justify why they want to work. Like "oh well her job pays really well" or "she worked hard for her title" or "she went to school for a long time". I don't care if someone is a CEO or they're a cashier at McDonald's. Neither woman should have to justify why or if she wants to go back to work. Men are NEVER asked these questions "why do you feel you need to go back to work?" or "why don't you just stay home?" or "doesn't your wife support you?"

    It reminds me of last name discussions where people are like "she's keeping it because she's made a name for herself in her field" or "oh well she's published under her maiden name, so it makes sense" or "there's a lot of family history there." No. Men never have to make these excuses or justify their choice to keep their name. They just do it and no questions it or feels the need to justify why they did it. 
    Quoting this just because I love it so much. 

    If LW was my mother, we would not be on speaking terms. Who the hell does she think she is?
    Someone's reason to drink... 
    Image result for Taking a drink
  • kvruns said:
    *Barbie* said:
    there's also a chance that the couple does want kids and have fertility issues, which they don't want to discuss with MIL (cause it;s none of her business). 


    that is actually where my mind first went
    actually, back when the Mr. and I were in the 'one of us changed our mind, so right now, one wants kids, one doesn't, and no kids until we're on the same page' part of relationship, questions/pushes were actually more awful than they were during infertility shit.  (During IF, I was fairly sure I knew the outcome, mostly--I just didn't know how we'd get there.)

    It's a fraught question and people should quit fucking around with their nosyness and obnoxious expectations.
    (I know, preaching to the choir)
  • mrsconn23 said:
    Q. Son won’t have children: We are concerned our only son isn’t having children. Every time we bring it up with him, he seems to have a new excuse. Recently when we tried to discuss this with our daughter-in-law directly, she said her high-powered career would be severely impacted if she didn’t plan child-bearing carefully because she doesn’t get paid parental leave at her workplace. We tried to encourage her by saying that she doesn’t even need to work since our son is very successful and we have considerable means. This seems to have offended her greatly. How do we convince them that we only want them to be happy?

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  • ernursej said:
    My MIL is still pissed that she isn’t getting Grandkids but at least I don’t have to hear this kind of crap. H deals with her complaints directly. We have no interest in children at all and having kids for any reason other than because “I would like to have a child to love and cherish” is stupid. My favourite excuse “who will look after you when you were old” is something I see everyday ... old people who are alone (but they actually have children who don’t care). 

    Feeling kind of ranty. ‘Pours another glass of vino’
    *also feeling ranty*

    To the bolded: "The money WE'VE saved. And it will probably be barrel bottom and crappy care, because your generation has squandered and voted away social security, pensions, solid Medicare funding, and other community responsibility for the elderly. But hey, y'all will probably die before those benefits are up, so whateva whateva!"

    I don't mean to imply your H's parents are like this or have voted this way. Talking about boomers in general.
    Money is my favourite response! I also like stirring the pot by saying that medical assistance in death may be an option for more than just terminal illness in the future. That usually changes the subject real fast. 

    My my in laws don’t usually get beyond the who will look after you comment because H just says that they don’t have to be worried about as they will be dead by then!!
  • This letter actually came across my fb this morning. I've never loved reading the comments as I did with this :)
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