Registry and Gift Forum

When to Open Shower Gifts Sent Early

My bridal shower is in a couple weekends, and I’ve received a few gifts in the mail from OOT friends/family members who are unable to attend - I didn’t expect this at all and it was such a sweet surprise! My question is when to open these gifts. Should I go ahead and open now or wait until the shower itself and open the gifts there? Opening at the shower feels a little strange since they won’t be there but idk if that’s the proper etiquette since it is a shower gift. I assume that regardless of when/where I open I’ll send a TY card immediately along with cards for other shower guests. 

The other option is that I could wait to open until after the wedding - a post wedding gift opening brunch with immediate family is a tradition in my area, so any gifts we receive by mail closer to the wedding date will be opened then. If I wait to open, what’s the etiquette with the TY card? Would I still send a card immediately to let them know that the shower gift was received and that I’m excited to open at a later date? That kinda feels weird too. 

Thanks for any advice!

Re: When to Open Shower Gifts Sent Early

  • MRDCle said:
    My bridal shower is in a couple weekends, and I’ve received a few gifts in the mail from OOT friends/family members who are unable to attend - I didn’t expect this at all and it was such a sweet surprise! My question is when to open these gifts. Should I go ahead and open now or wait until the shower itself and open the gifts there? Opening at the shower feels a little strange since they won’t be there but idk if that’s the proper etiquette since it is a shower gift. I assume that regardless of when/where I open I’ll send a TY card immediately along with cards for other shower guests. 

    The other option is that I could wait to open until after the wedding - a post wedding gift opening brunch with immediate family is a tradition in my area, so any gifts we receive by mail closer to the wedding date will be opened then. If I wait to open, what’s the etiquette with the TY card? Would I still send a card immediately to let them know that the shower gift was received and that I’m excited to open at a later date? That kinda feels weird too. 

    Thanks for any advice!
    In my circle, if someone OOT wants to send a gift for you to open at the shower, they usually send it to someone else to bring it. Our shower was a couple weeks ago and we opened whatever we received via mail when we received it, acknowledged receipt to the sender, and sent a thank you note quickly after.

    Maybe this is just me, but I as a sender would like to know that you received it and it's in one piece rather than wait in limbo till the shower or wedding.  
    Exactly this. A few people who were unable to attend my shower sent their gifts directly to me. I opened them upon receipt and promptly wrote a thank-you note. The remaining few people who were unable to attend but wanted me to open them at my shower, sent their gifts to my parents' house, where my shower was being held. In that case, I opened the gifts at the shower and said to the other guests who were watching me open gifts: "Oh this is from Aunt Hermione! I wish she could have been here in person, but that was so thoughtful of her to send a gift." And then I opened the gift and sent a thank-you note after my shower, when I wrote out the other thank-you notes.

    Also - OP you may want to change the name of your thread here. I am a sleep-deprived new mom and have done a similar thing, so no judgement from me, but just thought I'd give you a heads-up in the interest of you preserving your internet anonymity. 
  • MRDCle said:
    My bridal shower is in a couple weekends, and I’ve received a few gifts in the mail from OOT friends/family members who are unable to attend - I didn’t expect this at all and it was such a sweet surprise! My question is when to open these gifts. Should I go ahead and open now or wait until the shower itself and open the gifts there? Opening at the shower feels a little strange since they won’t be there but idk if that’s the proper etiquette since it is a shower gift. I assume that regardless of when/where I open I’ll send a TY card immediately along with cards for other shower guests. 

    The other option is that I could wait to open until after the wedding - a post wedding gift opening brunch with immediate family is a tradition in my area, so any gifts we receive by mail closer to the wedding date will be opened then. If I wait to open, what’s the etiquette with the TY card? Would I still send a card immediately to let them know that the shower gift was received and that I’m excited to open at a later date? That kinda feels weird too. 

    Thanks for any advice!
    In my circle, if someone OOT wants to send a gift for you to open at the shower, they usually send it to someone else to bring it. Our shower was a couple weeks ago and we opened whatever we received via mail when we received it, acknowledged receipt to the sender, and sent a thank you note quickly after.

    Maybe this is just me, but I as a sender would like to know that you received it and it's in one piece rather than wait in limbo till the shower or wedding.  
    Exactly this. A few people who were unable to attend my shower sent their gifts directly to me. I opened them upon receipt and promptly wrote a thank-you note. The remaining few people who were unable to attend but wanted me to open them at my shower, sent their gifts to my parents' house, where my shower was being held. In that case, I opened the gifts at the shower and said to the other guests who were watching me open gifts: "Oh this is from Aunt Hermione! I wish she could have been here in person, but that was so thoughtful of her to send a gift." And then I opened the gift and sent a thank-you note after my shower, when I wrote out the other thank-you notes.

    Also - OP you may want to change the name of your thread here. I am a sleep-deprived new mom and have done a similar thing, so no judgement from me, but just thought I'd give you a heads-up in the interest of you preserving your internet anonymity. 
    Eek! Thank you! No idea how that happened...
  • Open them now and send a thank you note now. 
  • I agree; open them now, send a thank you note. Many people sent shower gifts to my home because I travelled to the shower. I opened the packages to make sure everything arrived safely, then stored everything until after the wedding. 
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