Wedding Woes

Prudie, Prudie, Prudie! (It always reminds me of the Rudy chant)

Happy almost Friday! So looking forward to the weekend. I had a rest day for running so I fell back asleep and it was glorious!

I have a big project I'm finishing up at one work today, then teaching evening classes, but once I make it through that I'm heading right back to my bed. 

H is annoyed at my BIL. Sister and BIL bought a new house in December and they're doing a ton of renovations. They're paying a contractor for the big stuff, but they're doing the rest themselves. We've offered to help, H has been over there a bunch, and we're happy to. But my BIL doesn't really ask he says things like "painting party Saturday morning and early afternoon if you want in" or "Got some new flooring in". Clearly asking for help, but not really. We've already offered, just ask us if we can do it. The like half-ask, passive ask is annoying.
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Re: Prudie, Prudie, Prudie! (It always reminds me of the Rudy chant)

  • H needs to tell BIL, "I have x time available on y day.  I can come help you if you need it."  If BIL still beats around the bush, H can proceed with his plans (even if it is just staring at a wall or whatever). 

    DefConn went back to school today.  Wahoo.  I didn't get jack shit done yesterday around the house.  I was just tired.  

    Prudie is already posted.  Apparently they got their shit together.  ;) 
    charlotte989875short+sassylevioosaOliveOilsMom
  • I swear, weather needs to fix itself.
    Had to cancel seeing my friend last night because the snow was just too much.

    Every intention to start cleaning up but idk what it is - maybe the way she's sitting? - but I have pressure/weight on the lower part of my belly, which feels like it's pulling on my back muscles.
    I'm sure yoga - working the muscles - will help, but I haven't been able to get a good yoga mat yet. I've been stretching while standing, to work so back muscles but idk what else to do :(

    Did any of you other mama's deal with this? I'm wearing maternity pants and I have a belly band, but they don't help :(

    OH! We did start watching "Big Mouth" Omfg, has anyone watched that? It's so weird but you're laughing the entire time going "what is happening :') "
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
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    edited February 8
    @charlotte989875, I like MrsConn's suggestion of "x time on y day".  That should clear it up and something he can "accept" or not.
    @misskittydanger, is Big Mouth a 1/2 hour comedy? Is it on netflix (not that the US and Canadian ones are the same) I have one more ep of "The Good Place" and then I need another 1/2 hour show to keep my attention on the treadmill with.

    We're bearing down for another snow fall (maybe storm?) too. Every time it snows it costs me money and lately it's been on the daily!!! (I pay for someone to remove it) 

    Wednesday's are the best. tlc has 600 lb life and family by the ton.  I may just enjoy it because it's something I'm going through myself but I really love Family by the Ton, I want to hang out with this family! I love them. And the season is only 5 eps.  I hope they do a Season 2 as we watch their progress (both shows are about gastric sleeve surgeries) 

  • @CharmedPam ; It's on both parts of Netflix and yeh, about 1/2 hr :) It's similar to Family Guy, American Dad and Bob's Burgers - but a little more because it's a Netflix Original series lmao expect to say "WTF!" a lot while laughing
    We watched season 1 of "The Good Place" - let me know what you think of the last ep ;)
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  • @CharmedPam ; It's on both parts of Netflix and yeh, about 1/2 hr :) It's similar to Family Guy, American Dad and Bob's Burgers - but a little more because it's a Netflix Original series lmao expect to say "WTF!" a lot while laughing
    We watched season 1 of "The Good Place" - let me know what you think of the last ep ;)

    You might have just talked me into finally getting a Netflix subscription.

    Ugh, potential bad news on the tenant front.  Sounds like our next door tenants aren't going to be able to pay their rent this month.  It's a week late, as of today.  They always run a few days late, but have always paid.  They've been living there for about 18 months and, honestly, I'm surprised this hasn't happened sooner.

    They both have problems with alcohol.  Neither one can seem to keep a job because of it.  The H owns a house free and clear in WY (inherited it) and they have tenants there.  Their excuse for being late has always been that their tenants paid late.  But this month, when my H talked to the wife, he got the impression that they think their tenants aren't going to pay them.  So they can't pay us.  She even already said something like, "So I guess you'll be putting the house back on the market (rental)?"

    We were going to be serving them with a 5-Day Pay or Quit Notice today, anyway.  I coached my H with some words to say when he gets back to her.  Quite frankly, if they just agree to leave voluntarily over the next week, we'll work with them and even give them back some of their security deposit.  Even though they technically wouldn't be entitled to any of it, since we weren't given any notice.

    From having experienced one eviction already that went all the way to court and then we had to hire a constable because the guy still refused to leave, it is WAY better when people see the writing on the wall and voluntarily agree to leave.

    Crossing my fingers they just GTFO, easy peasy.

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    MissKittyDanger
  • @CharmedPam ; It's on both parts of Netflix and yeh, about 1/2 hr :) It's similar to Family Guy, American Dad and Bob's Burgers - but a little more because it's a Netflix Original series lmao expect to say "WTF!" a lot while laughing
    We watched season 1 of "The Good Place" - let me know what you think of the last ep ;)

    You might have just talked me into finally getting a Netflix subscription.

    Doooo it! Lol
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    short+sassy
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
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    Did I miss the Prudie discussion of the grandmother-to-be (a nurse!) who was upset her DIL wouldn't let her in the delivery room for the arrival of the first grandchild...?

    Because that was some cray cray shit right there. 

    Our parents were totally cool not being in the delivery room and elected to camp out in the waiting area... but early on as I was pushing, a nurse came in and said there was a call for the room. DH ran out and his mom was crying with worry. He was like, dude mom she's pushing, everything's fine. Chill. She's a nurse too and I thought she'd be steadier than that. 
    ________________________________


  • levioosalevioosa Southern California
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
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    Ugh, @short+sassy that sucks. I hope they just leave easily and peacefully. 

    @MissKittyDanger we just finished the first season of Big Mouth. I thought it was pretty funny although a bit much. SO said he thought it was funny but it was “offending his conservative Catholic upbringing.” Lol. 

    Work today. Not too much else going on otherwise. SO is having his friends over tonight so I might try to hit up the gym after work. Tomorrow I have PT and a bunch of unpacking and homework to do. 


    image
    short+sassyMissKittyDanger
  • @levioosa ; Oh dear, your SO :') yeh sometimes it's like "wtf?" and with the guy stuff, I keep asking M if he dealt with those issues lmao!
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  • Did I miss the Prudie discussion of the grandmother-to-be (a nurse!) who was upset her DIL wouldn't let her in the delivery room for the arrival of the first grandchild...?

    Because that was some cray cray shit right there. 

    Our parents were totally cool not being in the delivery room and elected to camp out in the waiting area... but early on as I was pushing, a nurse came in and said there was a call for the room. DH ran out and his mom was crying with worry. He was like, dude mom she's pushing, everything's fine. Chill. She's a nurse too and I thought she'd be steadier than that. 

    I don't think so.  @mrsconn23's Prudie are usually the letters.  The one you are talking about was in the Live Prudie chat transcript.

    For those who didn't read it, the letter was about a MIL who was super butt hurt and very bent out of shape because she was told her DIL did not want her in the delivery room.  The LW felt like a "second class" grandma, because the women's own mother was going to be there.  To the point where she was too angry to speak to her DIL and had even called the woman's parents, in the hopes they would convince their daughter to allow her to be there.  And the MIL was a nurse, for crying out loud!  You'd think that she, of all people, would understand people's sensitivity in medical matters.

    That was some cray cray shit!!!  That LW was appalling.  Pregnant women get dictate who is in the delivery room.  Period.  They can ban their own husbands/SOs, if that is what they want.  Their medical procedure.  Their choice.

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    thisismynickname2southernbelle0915
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Did I miss the Prudie discussion of the grandmother-to-be (a nurse!) who was upset her DIL wouldn't let her in the delivery room for the arrival of the first grandchild...?

    Because that was some cray cray shit right there. 

    Our parents were totally cool not being in the delivery room and elected to camp out in the waiting area... but early on as I was pushing, a nurse came in and said there was a call for the room. DH ran out and his mom was crying with worry. He was like, dude mom she's pushing, everything's fine. Chill. She's a nurse too and I thought she'd be steadier than that. 
    I don't get wanting other people in the room. I was weirded out being an ultrasound with DD and SIL. There is no way I would want to be in the delivery room. I've known people who have just about had the entire family in there - aunts, siblings. I couldn't have handled that crap.
  • Did I miss the Prudie discussion of the grandmother-to-be (a nurse!) who was upset her DIL wouldn't let her in the delivery room for the arrival of the first grandchild...?

    Because that was some cray cray shit right there. 

    Our parents were totally cool not being in the delivery room and elected to camp out in the waiting area... but early on as I was pushing, a nurse came in and said there was a call for the room. DH ran out and his mom was crying with worry. He was like, dude mom she's pushing, everything's fine. Chill. She's a nurse too and I thought she'd be steadier than that. 

    I don't think so.  @mrsconn23's Prudie are usually the letters.  The one you are talking about was in the Live Prudie chat transcript.

    For those who didn't read it, the letter was about a MIL who was super butt hurt and very bent out of shape because she was told her DIL did not want her in the delivery room.  The LW felt like a "second class" grandma, because the women's own mother was going to be there.  To the point where she was too angry to speak to her DIL and had even called the woman's parents, in the hopes they would convince their daughter to allow her to be there.  And the MIL was a nurse, for crying out loud!  You'd think that she, of all people, would understand people's sensitivity in medical matters.

    That was some cray cray shit!!!  That LW was appalling.  Pregnant women get dictate who is in the delivery room.  Period.  They can ban their own husbands/SOs, if that is what they want.  Their medical procedure.  Their choice.

    Umm this would totally be my mother. She is an L&D nurse and I think she'd be a little unhappy if I didn't let her in the delivery room. When my sister delivered it was so fast there wasn't any time so no mothers/MIL's (who is also a nurse) were allowed in. I think my sister preferred it that way, but thankfully didn't have to make the call. 
    short+sassy
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
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    Did I miss the Prudie discussion of the grandmother-to-be (a nurse!) who was upset her DIL wouldn't let her in the delivery room for the arrival of the first grandchild...?

    Because that was some cray cray shit right there. 

    Our parents were totally cool not being in the delivery room and elected to camp out in the waiting area... but early on as I was pushing, a nurse came in and said there was a call for the room. DH ran out and his mom was crying with worry. He was like, dude mom she's pushing, everything's fine. Chill. She's a nurse too and I thought she'd be steadier than that. 
    I don't get wanting other people in the room. I was weirded out being an ultrasound with DD and SIL. There is no way I would want to be in the delivery room. I've known people who have just about had the entire family in there - aunts, siblings. I couldn't have handled that crap.
    Entire family is just odd to me too! It's not a spectator sport. 
    ________________________________


    short+sassy
  • Did I miss the Prudie discussion of the grandmother-to-be (a nurse!) who was upset her DIL wouldn't let her in the delivery room for the arrival of the first grandchild...?

    Because that was some cray cray shit right there. 

    Our parents were totally cool not being in the delivery room and elected to camp out in the waiting area... but early on as I was pushing, a nurse came in and said there was a call for the room. DH ran out and his mom was crying with worry. He was like, dude mom she's pushing, everything's fine. Chill. She's a nurse too and I thought she'd be steadier than that. 
    For me, the plan was always my spouse and dad in the room and my mum was to hand out cigars afterwards {lol!} and now it's gonna be just M in the room.
    I doubt MIL and sFIL will be at the hospital, but my mum said she's gonna stay. She'll be in the room until things get going {she can't handle seeing pain on other people} but M thinks I'll end up wanting her there ..... we'll see.
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    short+sassy
  • banana468 said:
    Did I miss the Prudie discussion of the grandmother-to-be (a nurse!) who was upset her DIL wouldn't let her in the delivery room for the arrival of the first grandchild...?

    Because that was some cray cray shit right there. 

    Our parents were totally cool not being in the delivery room and elected to camp out in the waiting area... but early on as I was pushing, a nurse came in and said there was a call for the room. DH ran out and his mom was crying with worry. He was like, dude mom she's pushing, everything's fine. Chill. She's a nurse too and I thought she'd be steadier than that. 
    For me, the plan was always my spouse and dad in the room and my mum was to hand out cigars afterwards {lol!} and now it's gonna be just M in the room.
    I doubt MIL and sFIL will be at the hospital, but my mum said she's gonna stay. She'll be in the room until things get going {she can't handle seeing pain on other people} but M thinks I'll end up wanting her there ..... we'll see.
    Can I just advise that telling your parents to just show up hang out in a waiting room may not be all that productive?   What are they going to do?  It is reminiscent of old TV shows and movies but it's possible that your labor could be HOURS.   I went in on a Thursday afternoon for my induction and DD came out the following morning.    Especially with your first things may move slowly.
    Yeh I mentioned that to my mum, but she wants to come anyways. *shrug*
    She'll likely hang out in the room with me {I'm allowed 2 people during delivery for reference} until things happen.
    I've told her already that she'll have the job to call family when baby's born if she stays lol she's already found chocolate cigars to hand out lololol
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  • banana468 said:
    Did I miss the Prudie discussion of the grandmother-to-be (a nurse!) who was upset her DIL wouldn't let her in the delivery room for the arrival of the first grandchild...?

    Because that was some cray cray shit right there. 

    Our parents were totally cool not being in the delivery room and elected to camp out in the waiting area... but early on as I was pushing, a nurse came in and said there was a call for the room. DH ran out and his mom was crying with worry. He was like, dude mom she's pushing, everything's fine. Chill. She's a nurse too and I thought she'd be steadier than that. 
    For me, the plan was always my spouse and dad in the room and my mum was to hand out cigars afterwards {lol!} and now it's gonna be just M in the room.
    I doubt MIL and sFIL will be at the hospital, but my mum said she's gonna stay. She'll be in the room until things get going {she can't handle seeing pain on other people} but M thinks I'll end up wanting her there ..... we'll see.
    Can I just advise that telling your parents to just show up hang out in a waiting room may not be all that productive?   What are they going to do?  It is reminiscent of old TV shows and movies but it's possible that your labor could be HOURS.   I went in on a Thursday afternoon for my induction and DD came out the following morning.    Especially with your first things may move slowly.
    Yeh I mentioned that to my mum, but she wants to come anyways. *shrug*
    She'll likely hang out in the room with me {I'm allowed 2 people during delivery for reference} until things happen.
    I've told her already that she'll have the job to call family when baby's born if she stays lol she's already found chocolate cigars to hand out lololol
    OK.

    I really encourage you to do some reading up on productive labor.  If you think that your mom hanging out may make you uncomfortable there are studies that show that when you're uncomfortable the labor stalls and physically doesn't progress.  I'm not sure what rules are followed where you plan to deliver but a lot of doctors don't like to see labor stall.   If your water breaks that can also mean a finite timeline as many hospitals (at least in the US) follow the protocol that baby needs to be delivered within 24 hours.    Failure to progress means that you're headed to a cesarean section.     

    Labor is a bizarre process.   I've only had two myself so I'm hardly an expert but depending on what you choose (drugs or no drugs) you may just find that things (and you) happen and you're not in control.  I didn't want to reach a point where I was going to kick someone out (or have to have DH in the position that he would have to).  You're in pain, not completely mentally there (especially if you labor through the night and are sleep deprived), you will probably be nauseated and vomiting (I did with DD and one friend puked ten times when she delivered her daughter) and may poop without control.    People may ask you questions and you may not even be capable of answering them.  If any of that sounds like something you don't want your mom seeing then I guess I am just tilting my head at the shrug.   
    MissKittyDangerOliveOilsMomsparklepants41southernbelle0915
  • banana468 said:
    Can I just advise that telling your parents to just show up hang out in a waiting room may not be all that productive?   What are they going to do?  It is reminiscent of old TV shows and movies but it's possible that your labor could be HOURS.   I went in on a Thursday afternoon for my induction and DD came out the following morning.    Especially with your first things may move slowly. 

    I saw that Prudie letter and thought that the MIL was going to be setting herself up for a lifetime of issues if she constantly felt like everything had to be the same.  She needs to back the eff down. 

    When my friend was pregnant, she told her H that he was NOT to call his parents when she went into labor.  He wasn't allowed to call them until AFTER the baby was born.

    I don't think she was worried her MIL would try and butt into the delivery room, but her MIL stresses her out on a good day and she just didn't want her around at all, even beforehand.

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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
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    I was home yesterday with DD.  I had to take her back to the doctor's, she has a double ear infection.  So I worked from home as I could, which was mostly successful since she took a 2 1/2 hour nap after the doctors!  But I'm back in the office today, with the Eagles parade streaming on my extra laptop!  The office even gave us free pizza for lunch!  Woohoo!  Tomorrow I'm traveling about an hour half away for a document review, so with travel time, I should be out of the office all day!

    DDs birthday party is shaping up nicely.  I'm going to make sugar cookies for a favor and will hopefully start them tonight.  But I am still waiting for the green sugar crystals to come from Amazon - they weren't prime.  I may need to wait until tomorrow.

    Speaking of moms & labor: I did have my mom (retired nurse) come to the hospital.  It was mostly to help pass the time with chatting.  She had 4 kids with no medicine, so I know she knew what to expect - pain wise.  She stayed with me while H went to get food (he ate in the cafeteria).  She left after H came back from eating dinner.  I think she hung out for about 5-6 hours?  But she was always going to leave before any pushing was going to occur.  As Banana mentioned, some hospitals do not let moms with broken water to go past 24 hours, I was thinking the same would happen to me.  I was an exception though, I did not deliver until 25 hours after my water broke, but I was also at the hospital for 24 of those hours.  That might have been factored in.

    MKD - If your mom can't handle others in pain, I don't think she should be in the room with you at all.  Unless you have an epidural already in and its working properly (they don't always take or only numb some of you), having your mom in the room may actually do more harm to your labor progression.


    banana468charlotte989875
  • Did I miss the Prudie discussion of the grandmother-to-be (a nurse!) who was upset her DIL wouldn't let her in the delivery room for the arrival of the first grandchild...?

    Because that was some cray cray shit right there. 

    Our parents were totally cool not being in the delivery room and elected to camp out in the waiting area... but early on as I was pushing, a nurse came in and said there was a call for the room. DH ran out and his mom was crying with worry. He was like, dude mom she's pushing, everything's fine. Chill. She's a nurse too and I thought she'd be steadier than that. 
    LOL, OMG that sounds like my mother. She used to be an L&D nurse but I was like, nope. She would have driven everyone insane including FI, the other nurses, and OBs. I wanted to have a stress free delivery (relatively), so I told the parents after I gave birth. 
    charlotte989875OliveOilsMom
  • I told my parents they could come after the baby was born but I didn't want them hanging around in the waiting room since I had no idea how long it would last. As it turned out mom had to have a hysterectomy for cancer 4 days before I gave birth (her surgery was my due date) so I don't think they would have waited all day anyway.

    My ILs are across the country and originally wanted to come out before the birth so they could be at the hospital. Logistics and common sense finally worked and they scheduled a trip for after we knew he would be born. I was like I don't want my own family sitting in the waiting room forever and I don't want yours either so you need to talk to your dad. 
    charlotte989875short+sassyOliveOilsMom
  • FWIW our system was that the parents would be aware but agreed not to come until we told them so.

    #1 - I was induced.   We went to the hospital and told them what was up as we were en route.  Told them that they shouldn't expect anything until the next day and we called the following morning around 11 after Chiquita was out.  Then we told them WHEN to come to the hospital.

    #2 - Logistics this time involved an overnight for Chiquita.   I was 5 days past my DD and could feel things moving but it wasn't much.   FIL took DD that night overnight just as prep so there wasn't a 2 AM fire drill.    I labored through the night and got to the hospital around 6.   At 7 or so DH made a couple phone calls to say where we were.   At 7:50 Chiquito was born.   Again, we waited until after birth and until we felt ready to make some calls and told them when we wanted visitors.   

    I delivered both kids in the same hospital and in both cases I delivered in the same room where I slept.   The only time that changes is if I would need a c-section.   

    I really liked that my laboring was done with minimal interruption or the feeling that I needed to perform for those outside.   I just don't get the concept of sitting in a waiting room in a hospital for a nonsurgical childbirth.   If you have no idea how long something is going to take why would you just go show up to do nothing?   


    OliveOilsMomcharlotte989875MissKittyDanger
  • banana468 said:
    FWIW our system was that the parents would be aware but agreed not to come until we told them so.

    #1 - I was induced.   We went to the hospital and told them what was up as we were en route.  Told them that they shouldn't expect anything until the next day and we called the following morning around 11 after Chiquita was out.  Then we told them WHEN to come to the hospital.

    #2 - Logistics this time involved an overnight for Chiquita.   I was 5 days past my DD and could feel things moving but it wasn't much.   FIL took DD that night overnight just as prep so there wasn't a 2 AM fire drill.    I labored through the night and got to the hospital around 6.   At 7 or so DH made a couple phone calls to say where we were.   At 7:50 Chiquito was born.   Again, we waited until after birth and until we felt ready to make some calls and told them when we wanted visitors.   

    I delivered both kids in the same hospital and in both cases I delivered in the same room where I slept.   The only time that changes is if I would need a c-section.   

    I really liked that my laboring was done with minimal interruption or the feeling that I needed to perform for those outside.   I just don't get the concept of sitting in a waiting room in a hospital for a nonsurgical childbirth.   If you have no idea how long something is going to take why would you just go show up to do nothing?   


    This was exactly our system as well. With Babypants, I was also induced. We went in on a Monday night, and she wasn't born until Wednesday night - 44 hours later. I have absolutely no idea what parents/guests/visitors would have done for 44 hours other than drive me absolutely bonkers. At one point I was so uncomfortable that I sent H to the Bertucci's across the street and told him to have a cocktail just so I could have some peace and quiet and alone time LOL
    OliveOilsMomcharlotte989875
  • banana468 said:
    FWIW our system was that the parents would be aware but agreed not to come until we told them so.

    #1 - I was induced.   We went to the hospital and told them what was up as we were en route.  Told them that they shouldn't expect anything until the next day and we called the following morning around 11 after Chiquita was out.  Then we told them WHEN to come to the hospital.

    #2 - Logistics this time involved an overnight for Chiquita.   I was 5 days past my DD and could feel things moving but it wasn't much.   FIL took DD that night overnight just as prep so there wasn't a 2 AM fire drill.    I labored through the night and got to the hospital around 6.   At 7 or so DH made a couple phone calls to say where we were.   At 7:50 Chiquito was born.   Again, we waited until after birth and until we felt ready to make some calls and told them when we wanted visitors.   

    I delivered both kids in the same hospital and in both cases I delivered in the same room where I slept.   The only time that changes is if I would need a c-section.   

    I really liked that my laboring was done with minimal interruption or the feeling that I needed to perform for those outside.   I just don't get the concept of sitting in a waiting room in a hospital for a nonsurgical childbirth.   If you have no idea how long something is going to take why would you just go show up to do nothing?   


    This was exactly our system as well. With Babypants, I was also induced. We went in on a Monday night, and she wasn't born until Wednesday night - 44 hours later. I have absolutely no idea what parents/guests/visitors would have done for 44 hours other than drive me absolutely bonkers. At one point I was so uncomfortable that I sent H to the Bertucci's across the street and told him to have a cocktail just so I could have some peace and quiet and alone time LOL
    Our hospital's waiting room was on the same floor as where we delivered, but not really anywhere near. It's not as though anyone could quickly update anyone sitting out there. 
  • banana468 said:
    FWIW our system was that the parents would be aware but agreed not to come until we told them so.

    #1 - I was induced.   We went to the hospital and told them what was up as we were en route.  Told them that they shouldn't expect anything until the next day and we called the following morning around 11 after Chiquita was out.  Then we told them WHEN to come to the hospital.

    #2 - Logistics this time involved an overnight for Chiquita.   I was 5 days past my DD and could feel things moving but it wasn't much.   FIL took DD that night overnight just as prep so there wasn't a 2 AM fire drill.    I labored through the night and got to the hospital around 6.   At 7 or so DH made a couple phone calls to say where we were.   At 7:50 Chiquito was born.   Again, we waited until after birth and until we felt ready to make some calls and told them when we wanted visitors.   

    I delivered both kids in the same hospital and in both cases I delivered in the same room where I slept.   The only time that changes is if I would need a c-section.   

    I really liked that my laboring was done with minimal interruption or the feeling that I needed to perform for those outside.   I just don't get the concept of sitting in a waiting room in a hospital for a nonsurgical childbirth.   If you have no idea how long something is going to take why would you just go show up to do nothing?   


    This was exactly our system as well. With Babypants, I was also induced. We went in on a Monday night, and she wasn't born until Wednesday night - 44 hours later. I have absolutely no idea what parents/guests/visitors would have done for 44 hours other than drive me absolutely bonkers. At one point I was so uncomfortable that I sent H to the Bertucci's across the street and told him to have a cocktail just so I could have some peace and quiet and alone time LOL
    Our hospital's waiting room was on the same floor as where we delivered, but not really anywhere near. It's not as though anyone could quickly update anyone sitting out there. 
    Same here.  

    Not to mention, there isn't much to do. 


  • edited February 8
    Ditto everyone saying people in the waiting room is unproductive. We had family say they would come and wait as soon as they knew I was in labor. Well then, I guess you'll be getting a text after the baby is born because, yea, no you won't. 

    With babybelle, I was in labor for almost 20 hours and pushing for 2. It wouldn't have been productive to have people sitting around waiting. Or for me to think about people sitting around waiting. Also, at our hospital, they keep you in the L&D room for 2 hours before wheeling you to recovery and those 2 hours are filled with "to do's". They're weighing the baby, taking blood samples, stitching up your vagina, wiping all the poop off your ass, doing footprints, etc. It's not like you just sit there visiting with people and it's not glamorous at all. IMO, visits don't really make sense until you're in recovery. And depending on your L&D, you might just want to shower and sleep for a bit before visiting.

    With futurebelle, I don't really care if anyone wants to be in the delivery room. I know how I'm going to respond to stuff and how horrible/beautiful it is. But they will take a vow of silence - no talking to me, H, or any medical staff. And they will sit on the couch - they will not stand, they will not pace, they will stay out of the way. If my labor is stalled, they will leave and send no texts until they hear from H that they are invited back in. If they are asked to leave, they will get up quietly and leave - they will not argue or make a fuss. When the baby is born, they will not ask to hold it. H will hold it briefly and then I will do skin to skin. I will offer when I feel like giving the baby to someone else. After all that, if they still want to come and watch me screaming and pooping all over the bed, fine.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    member
    edited February 8
    DH has been sick with a cold since Christmas.  Now he has another cold on top of the old one.  He finally went to the doctor last night, and was assured he didn't have the flu.

    Well, I go to go to my chemo ALONE.  He drove me and dropped me off for three hours.  Yay!  I got to talk to my doctors without him hanging over my head and correcting me, or answering their questions (directed to ME!).  Lovely!

    I relaxed for three hours and they fed me lunch.  Last night I had to get up and pee every half hour, and I went through a huge number of Poise pads.  Ugh.  Today I feel normal!  It's all that saline they put into me to diffuse the chemo.

    Today I needed to go to the grocery store for a big trip.  I've only been doing short trips for the last few weeks, and it was time.  DH was too sick to go into the store and be around people, so he drove and sat in the car reading and listening to the radio while I scooted around the store in an electric cart.  Nobody telling me what NOT to buy!  Yay!

    OMG, Magnum ice cream bars is making a cherry truffle flavor!  Wow!  You have to try it!  Divine!

    Funny how illness (mine) can make you appreciate the little joys in life.  Happy day!  Warning!  Do not let cat anywhere near wigs!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    OliveOilsMomshort+sassycharlotte989875
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    edited February 9
    My mom wanted nothing to do with being in the delivery room.  

    Our plan was always to call MIL/FIL when I went into labor to get the kiddo. And we did and MIL took the kiddo to her house, after she cleaned my house (that we thought we'd cleaned before she came over, but there is clean and there was "MIL clean"...damn, I miss that woman). 

    Funny labor story...everyone in my family has short labors (my older sister didn't have time for her epi with youngest nephew, she was not pleased about the unplanned natural delivery). OTOH, I was in labor for about 29 hours start to finish.  My parents lived about 2 hours away when I gave birth.  When I labored overnight and into the next day, my mom decided she was coming to town to see me and meet DefConn.   She messaged me to let me know she was coming.  I was about 22 hours in, and exhausted already, so when I found out she was coming, I burst into tears.  The nurses were all, "What's wrong?!" I said, "My mom's coming!"  They look so confused and were all, "Well, we don't have to let her in."  DH quickly explained that it was a good thing and I was crying from relief/happiness.  (And typing all that out made me tear up again...LOL)
    mollybarker11
  • banana468 said:
    FWIW our system was that the parents would be aware but agreed not to come until we told them so.

    #1 - I was induced.   We went to the hospital and told them what was up as we were en route.  Told them that they shouldn't expect anything until the next day and we called the following morning around 11 after Chiquita was out.  Then we told them WHEN to come to the hospital.

    #2 - Logistics this time involved an overnight for Chiquita.   I was 5 days past my DD and could feel things moving but it wasn't much.   FIL took DD that night overnight just as prep so there wasn't a 2 AM fire drill.    I labored through the night and got to the hospital around 6.   At 7 or so DH made a couple phone calls to say where we were.   At 7:50 Chiquito was born.   Again, we waited until after birth and until we felt ready to make some calls and told them when we wanted visitors.   

    I delivered both kids in the same hospital and in both cases I delivered in the same room where I slept.   The only time that changes is if I would need a c-section.   

    I really liked that my laboring was done with minimal interruption or the feeling that I needed to perform for those outside.   I just don't get the concept of sitting in a waiting room in a hospital for a nonsurgical childbirth.   If you have no idea how long something is going to take why would you just go show up to do nothing?   


    This was exactly our system as well. With Babypants, I was also induced. We went in on a Monday night, and she wasn't born until Wednesday night - 44 hours later. I have absolutely no idea what parents/guests/visitors would have done for 44 hours other than drive me absolutely bonkers. At one point I was so uncomfortable that I sent H to the Bertucci's across the street and told him to have a cocktail just so I could have some peace and quiet and alone time LOL
    Our hospital's waiting room was on the same floor as where we delivered, but not really anywhere near. It's not as though anyone could quickly update anyone sitting out there. 
    The waiting room for the hospital I'm going to is relatively close {well it's a 'family room'} and they have a t.v 
    <a href="https://babysizer.com/geeky"><img src="https://babysizer.com/geeky-2018-06-08.jpg" alt="Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker"></a>
  • @CMGragain, thanks for the Magnum cherry truffle recommendation.  That does sound awesome!  I'm glad you had a less stressful time with your chemo session and grocery shopping.
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    charlotte989875
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