Weary from worry and wondering

Re: Weary from worry and wondering

• MissKittyDanger member

  

  March 2018

  Is it possible to meet the partner while they're on tour - even if it's only once - to reconnect? Or take vacation and go with?

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• thisismynickname2 member

  

  March 2018

  That sucks. I'd feel jealous and even resentful too- I'd love to have adventures like that. FOMO. I think LW trying to make getaways to meet them is the best idea, considering they've tried other hobbies and activities and whatnot. 
  I wonder if they've spoken to their partner? Could the partner be more "adventurous" when they're home together- surprising them with nights out and whatnot?
  The only odd thing is they claim they trust but dislike the constant nights out- why? They're not waking you up at 3am. That doesn't sound like trust. 

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  March 2018 edited March 2018

  If you can't find a way to cope, there are really only two options here:
  
  1) Join the partner on tour (if invited) and partake in the adventures
  2) Break up
  
  Notice there is not an option to restrict his profession or become a jealous partner.

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• ShesSoCold mod

  

  March 2018 edited March 2018

  southernbelle0915 said:

  If you can't find a way to cope, there are really only two options here:
  
  1) Join the partner on tour (if invited) and partake in the adventures
  2) Break up
  
  Notice there is not an option to restrict his profession or become a jealous partner.

  
  Exactly. I'm almost comparing this to the brides who come here and say that X venue is PERFECT except for Y. Welp, then it's not perfect.

  LW can't (shouldn't) go on feeling like this, nor should she try to change him or what he does. LW's gotta move on, whether that's moving on from this relationship or finding a way to move on from these feelings.

  ETA: I wouldn't be able to be in a relationship with someone who was gone for extended periods of time. I'm like LW in the sense that I worry for no reason and get all upset for no reason other than I'm nuts. H has been offered opportunities to make a lot of money traveling for work and he's declined.

  
  

  
  

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• short+sassy member

  

  March 2018

  To me, I don't think my SO being gone for 2-4 weeks every few months sounds bad at all.  But I can understand why others, ie the LW, would feel differently.

  Something else that caught my attention is she talks about "late night partying".  I'm reading into that phrase, but am wondering if it speaks to the LW being an 8-5 job kind of person.  While her SO, even when he is home, is performing at gigs and partying at night.  Now THAT, all rolled in together, should be either a dealbreaker for her or adjust her own lifestyle/job to the night and/or WFH.

  

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• charlotte989875 member

  

  March 2018

  I'm curious how long they've been together. He's part of a nationally touring band; I'm not part of that industry but my guess is you play as long as you can. Maybe you'll be popular and have gigs for years, maybe not. If he's given her no reason not to trust him then this is something she definitely needs to work out on her own. 

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• artbyallie mod

  

  March 2018

  I read this as: I don't trust my partner and suspect they're partaking of the stereotypical sex and drugs that accompany rock and roll.

  

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