Date Night Shower

knottieed3a544a7e225f5e · March 2018

Is it appropriate to write on a wedding shower invitation that instead of gifts we are asking guests to bring date night idea gifts; ex. hotel gift cards, dinner and a movie, tickets to an event ect.?
If so how would we write that? Whats the correct wording?

MobKaz · March 2018

knottieed3a544a7e225f5e said:

Is it appropriate to write on a wedding shower invitation that instead of gifts we are asking guests to bring date night idea gifts; ex. hotel gift cards, dinner and a movie, tickets to an event ect.?
If so how would we write that? Whats the correct wording?

On occasion, some showers will have a theme, such as “kitchen shower”, or “stock the bar” shower. That’s as far as the theme is carried, however. Specific listed items would be inappropriate. I am personally not a fan of the themed showers. I like to have some variety in my choice of gifts.

This shower theme is problematic in several ways. It would be almost impossible to purchase tickets to any event without knowing your calendar and schedule. Unless you expect guests to spend a sizable amount of money on a shower gift, gift cards to hotels would feel like a partial gift. I think in this situation, your theme is much too specific and a bit too personal. A shower, in my opinion, is meant to help start your household, and not your activities.

ernursej · March 2018

In my friend circle, theme showers are the norm. We will send out invites reflecting the theme but never require that people center their gifts around the theme. Stock the bar, wine and kitchen basics are easier to communicate. I think theme showers are more of a thing because people often have the essentials before they marry.

Ive personally done a date night basket stocked with a new DVD, massage oil, wine and snacks. It was the same amount that I would have spent on spatulas and such.

MobKaz · March 2018

@ernurse, I agree with the premise of your post. A date night basket as you describe is an awesome idea because there is no deadline or specific date attached to it. It simply requires a fairly "intimate" knowledge of the couple in order to create a basket that aligns to the tastes of the recipient.

I just wanted to point out that ideas requiring the gifting of time sensitive or specific dates would be problematic. Many of the ideas are also "gift cardy" in nature, which is simply not to my liking.

Finally, in the few themed showers with which I am familiar, no other wording is necessary other than the "title" of the shower theme, as in "Please join us for a "Stock the Bar" shower honoring Jack and Jill". I think an invitation is over thought or problematic when a potential need for a "description" is required. OP even states that the idea is "in lieu of gifts" which might merely be poor wording on her part.

To answer OP's question, I think the only wording that would be appropriate is "Please join us for a "Date Night" shower honoring Jack and Jill." Please bring your best date night ideas could imply you literally want written ideas. Please come with your best date night gifts sounds "off" to me.

I love making gift baskets for close friends and would actually enjoy putting together a basket with cards, poker chips, and even a card table with chairs. It's not the money behind the gift per se. The basic premise sounds fine but less clear than other themed showers. I think I am struggling a bit because it is not a theme I see as appropriate as others for a wedding shower.

Jen4948 · March 2018

I think themed showers are fine, but themes that call for gift cards aren't good for showers.

ernursej · March 2018

MobKaz said:

@ernurse, I agree with the premise of your post. A date night basket as you describe is an awesome idea because there is no deadline or specific date attached to it. It simply requires a fairly "intimate" knowledge of the couple in order to create a basket that aligns to the tastes of the recipient.

I just wanted to point out that ideas requiring the gifting of time sensitive or specific dates would be problematic. Many of the ideas are also "gift cardy" in nature, which is simply not to my liking.

Finally, in the few themed showers with which I am familiar, no other wording is necessary other than the "title" of the shower theme, as in "Please join us for a "Stock the Bar" shower honoring Jack and Jill". I think an invitation is over thought or problematic when a potential need for a "description" is required. OP even states that the idea is "in lieu of gifts" which might merely be poor wording on her part.

To answer OP's question, I think the only wording that would be appropriate is "Please join us for a "Date Night" shower honoring Jack and Jill." Please bring your best date night ideas could imply you literally want written ideas. Please come with your best date night gifts sounds "off" to me.

I love making gift baskets for close friends and would actually enjoy putting together a basket with cards, poker chips, and even a card table with chairs. It's not the money behind the gift per se. The basic premise sounds fine but less clear than other themed showers. I think I am struggling a bit because it is not a theme I see as appropriate as others for a wedding shower.

Agree with everything you have said. The date night basket was for a date night shower but the group was small 8 or 10 people and everyone was on board with the idea. I think the couple got several great baskets.

I wouldnt suggest this this type of shower for the normal crowd. The easiest to communicate (wine, stock the bar, kitchen essentials) are best. I think date night is for those groups that regularly do theme type showers.

ei34 · March 2018

knottieed3a544a7e225f5e said:

Is it appropriate to write on a wedding shower invitation that instead of gifts we are asking guests to bring date night idea gifts; ex. hotel gift cards, dinner and a movie, tickets to an event ect.?
If so how would we write that? Whats the correct wording?

Is the bride registered at any stores? My own shower was years ago, but I remember preferring the gifts I’d registered for...you obviously know the bride/couple better than I do, but I’d stick with the registry.

As far as theme showers I’m good with kitchen-themed, stock the bar...I definitely wouldn’t write down or suggest to guests that they purchase gift cards or event tickets.

banana468 · March 2018

I think if you want to go this route it needs to be for things and not gift cards.

-Bottles of wine / alcohol
-Nicer plates / glasses
-Possibly even a nicer piece of lingerie

But asking for items that are gift cards to restaurants is inappropriate IMO.

As someone who has been married for 10 years I can tell you I'm still using wedding items I received at showers like my food processors / blenders and cookware. A gift card to a restaurant is nice but I can tell you I wouldn't give it as a shower gift.

Date Night Shower

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