Dear Prudence,
Once a year my husband and I attend an auction to raise money for our school. It’s a really fun time. We take a party bus to the event and then postgame at someone’s house. Most couples agree in advance who will be the designated driver at the end of the night. This year the couple whose house we ended up at offered to host anyone who needed to sleep over. Everyone’s trying to make this a fun and safe night.
Last year, I ended up driving a few couples home (which I don’t mind doing). One of the couples, while unable to competently put their shoes on, argued with me for a full hour before grudgingly allowing me to drive them home. They were stumbling and swaying, and kept insisting it was fine and they didn’t live far, but I refused to budge. This year I again witnessed both of them get super drunk. I tried to keep an eye on them, but at one point they slipped out without anyone noticing. I am livid that they did this. They had the opportunity to spend the night, and neither one should have been behind the wheel. I feel that they snuck away on purpose, because they knew we would have objected. I can understand things accidentally getting out of control once, but I find it hard to believe that they’re only making this terrible choice one night a year, and it only takes one night to cause irreparable harm. Is there anything I can do or say to these friends that might actually get through to them?
—Frustrated Designated Driver