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WWYD? 2 Showers

dontbeaturddontbeaturd member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
in Pre-wedding Parties
I have a dilemma...

My MOH has  graciously offered to throw me a shower in my hometown (she's from OOT). My cousin has also offered to throw me a shower the next weekend, which will also be in my hometown (cousin is local). 

1. Is it ok to do both?
2. Who do I invite to each? 

I'm assuming that it's incredibly rude to invite people to both (or is it? I have no idea). I feel completely overwhelmed at the kindness, but I don't know what to do from here. I don't want to step on toes (it's family tradition for the girl cousins to throw wedding showers on my dad's side and my MOH will be butthurt if she doesn't get to throw one). 
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Re: WWYD? 2 Showers

  • MRDCleMRDCle member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    dontbeaturd said:
    I have a dilemma...

    My MOH has  graciously offered to throw me a shower in my hometown (she's from OOT). My cousin has also offered to throw me a shower the next weekend, which will also be in my hometown (cousin is local). 

    1. Is it ok to do both?
    2. Who do I invite to each? 

    I'm assuming that it's incredibly rude to invite people to both (or is it? I have no idea). I feel completely overwhelmed at the kindness, but I don't know what to do from here. I don't want to step on toes (it's family tradition for the girl cousins to throw wedding showers on my dad's side and my MOH will be butthurt if she doesn't get to throw one). 
    It's fine to have multiple showers.  I would check with each host how many people they can accommodate. I wouldn't double up invites (except maybe my mom or SUPPPPER close people). Personally I would probably do family at your cousins and then friends to your MOHs. However, it's totally fine to politely decline one or the other if you don't feel comfortable with two. 
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  • ahoyweddingahoywedding member
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    Could they possibly co-host? Or move the date of one so they're not consecutive? That would be a little weird, and may be a bit much for you. It's certainly fine to have multiple showers with different groups of friends/family. The only people I'd invite to both are mom, siblings, wedding party (let them know they don't HAVE to go!), maaaaaaaaaaybe super close friends if they're local.
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  • dontbeaturddontbeaturd member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    What about his mom? I have a really good relationship with her. That's one of those things where I want to know she's invited, but I get if the travel is too much. 

    I think I'm going to go with the separate family and friends shower. That will make things easier on both hostesses. I'm completely flattered that they asked, because I wasn't expecting anyone to throw a shower.
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    As for your FI's mother, it is traditional for both the MOG and MOB to be invited to all showers. Of course, they don't have to attend them all. Wedding party is traditionally invited to all showers too but again don't have to attend any or all of them. So have the invites sent to her, just let her know that you understand if she can't attend.
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  • Knottie42a0fb5e0c6671beKnottie42a0fb5e0c6671be member
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    From where I am from, it's not completely unusual to have two different showers, but I would maybe see if they could collaborate together. Most guests coming to a shower would want to buy you something, and if I were invited to two showers that were close together I would be a little frustrated and feel obligated to maybe have to buy two gifts? IDK that's just my opinion.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You can have multiple showers as long as the only guests invited to all of them are the MOB, MOG, wedding party members and IMO siblings of the couple. But none of these persons are required to attend any of the showers.
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  • dontbeaturddontbeaturd member
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    Thank you all!

    Follow up... My brother's girlfriend (she'll be his FI by the time the showers roll around)... Does she get an invite to both? She'll probably be more comfortable at the family shower, but I will put her down for both if I need to. 
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
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    If she is his fiance at the time, I would probably invite her to both especially if you are close to her.

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  • bubblylovebubblylove member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Not weird at all. I had two showers the same weekend - one Saturday, one Sunday - in my hometown which is out of state for me. I have a big family so one generally was for Mom's side with a few friends and one was for Dad's side with a few friends. I let my bridesmaids choose which one worked best for them. MIL and SIL were invited too. 
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  • ernursejernursej member
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Invite FSIL to both with same information that she is welcome at both but certainly not required to come to both (or either).
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