My first cousin and I are both getting married this year, so my paternal grandmother had the idea to plan a joint bridal shower for the two of us, which I am sure will be very nice. However, there is a complication related to who gets invited to the bridal shower, and by extension, our weddings.
I come from a big family. My father is one of six children, and his father is also one of six children. I have over 20 first cousins on that side of the family alone, and when I start counting first cousins once removed and second cousins, that number jumps to over 100.
It has always been family tradition that all of the descendants of my great-grandfather are invited to weddings. While I have no problem with my extended family, and am in fact very proud to be a part of it, I don't want to have a 400 person wedding. I plan to invite (and sent save-the-dates to) just my grandparents, great aunts and great uncles, aunts, uncles, and first cousins. Unfortunately, it looks like the joint shower may be throwing a wrench into that plan.
Today my grandmother group-texted my cousin, my aunt, my mom, and me to discuss logistics for the shower, which she has booked for the end of this month. She asked who we wanted to invite, and my aunt immediately listed off several first cousins once removed that I hadn't planned to invite to my wedding. Evidently, those people are invited to my cousin's wedding.
I thought about piping in to explain that I don't want my first cousins once removed at the shower, since they aren't invited to my wedding, but I'm worried that this will not go over well with my grandmother and aunt. Do I just need to suck it up and add all of my first cousins once removed to my wedding invitation list? I would really rather not, but I can't imagine that it's appropriate to invite the first cousins once removed to my bridal shower if they're not invited to my wedding. Help!