Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

alternative to father daughter dance

does anyone have any good ideas for an alternative to the father daughter dance? my dad is still alive and we are very close but not in a dance to an emotional song in front of 150 people type of way but I still want to do something just cant think of any good ideas. Also my fiance's mom passed away years ago so he wont be doing a mother/son dance. 

Re: alternative to father daughter dance

  • does anyone have any good ideas for an alternative to the father daughter dance? my dad is still alive and we are very close but not in a dance to an emotional song in front of 150 people type of way but I still want to do something just cant think of any good ideas. Also my fiance's mom passed away years ago so he wont be doing a mother/son dance. 
    You really don't need to do anything. Honestly, the less spotlight dances, the better.

    Your dad can give you a toast or if you and your H do a toast, you can mention your dad. 
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  • One thing that I think is fun is an anniversary dance. All married couples on the dance floor, and the DJ has people keep staying longer for the song if they've been married over 1 year, over 3, over 5, over 10, etc. At many weddings, the longest standing couple may be 40 years or more!
    However, you said your fiance's mom passed away, so this could be insensitive to his dad. Something to consider. You could always ask him if he'd mind. 
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  • One thing that I think is fun is an anniversary dance. All married couples on the dance floor, and the DJ has people keep staying longer for the song if they've been married over 1 year, over 3, over 5, over 10, etc. At many weddings, the longest standing couple may be 40 years or more!
    However, you said your fiance's mom passed away, so this could be insensitive to his dad. Something to consider. You could always ask him if he'd mind. 


    I hate the anniversary dance unless there hasn't been any deaths or divorces. It just highlights people that don't have a special someone.

    OP - don't do anything. The less spotlights the better.

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited July 2018
    One thing that I think is fun is an anniversary dance. All married couples on the dance floor, and the DJ has people keep staying longer for the song if they've been married over 1 year, over 3, over 5, over 10, etc. At many weddings, the longest standing couple may be 40 years or more!
    However, you said your fiance's mom passed away, so this could be insensitive to his dad. Something to consider. You could always ask him if he'd mind. 
    Having once been the one single person at a bar mitzvah reception, I was also the one person left out of the final dance, which was a slow couple's dance. It felt fucking awful.

    Like you said, it's insensitive to those who are not coupled to make them watch but not participate in a dance that everyone else gets to dance to. And it's especially insensitive if it's because they were recently divorced or widowed or broke up with their partners.

    That bar mitzvah was for the same person who had a "no ring, no bring" policy at his wedding where I was invited but not my then BF of 2 1/2 years to whom I nearly got engaged. This person's family was close friends with mine, but after being treated like that, I declined his wedding invitation and I'm not sure I would ever invite him or his wife to mine. 
  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Could you and your dad dance to a faster-paced song together?  While everyone else is also on the dance floor?  No emotional dance and no eyes on you, but you still get a moment together.  Maybe you could ask the DJ to play one of your dad’s favorite songs so it’s special for him.
  • I agree with the PPs.  Don't have the father/daughter dance, especially if you all wouldn't care for it anyway.  Plus, that could make your FI sad since his mom has passed.

    Instead, dance with your dad here and there throughout the evening.  Not as a spotlight dance.  Just dancing.

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