Attire and Accessories

Second guessing wedding dress

Help!! I’ve known from the start my fiancé isn’t a huge fan of “poofy” dresses but ended up getting one anyways because I’m not confident when it comes to something tighter and I had the mindset “he’ll like it on me”. I absolutely LOVED my dress, even surprised myself by bursting into tears when I knew it was “the one”. Fast forward to now, 4 months later, now that I’ve picked it up. When I first ordered it I couldn’t stop looking at pictures of it, I was obsessed.  Now, I worry it’s too big and overpowering on me, and second guessing my decision entirely. Is this common?? I’m attaching a picture as well. Please be honest! I don’t know if I’m just having a bad day or if I was wrong about the dress

Re: Second guessing wedding dress

  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
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    Help!! I’ve known from the start my fiancé isn’t a huge fan of “poofy” dresses but ended up getting one anyways because I’m not confident when it comes to something tighter and I had the mindset “he’ll like it on me”. I absolutely LOVED my dress, even surprised myself by bursting into tears when I knew it was “the one”. Fast forward to now, 4 months later, now that I’ve picked it up. When I first ordered it I couldn’t stop looking at pictures of it, I was obsessed.  Now, I worry it’s too big and overpowering on me, and second guessing my decision entirely. Is this common?? I’m attaching a picture as well. Please be honest! I don’t know if I’m just having a bad day or if I was wrong about the dress
    I can't see a picture, but if you're only feeling this way today, give it another several days. Don't worry at all what your FI thinks. He isn't wearing the dress and you should wear something YOU love.

    If you do think it's too poofy, maybe see if some of the layers in the skirt can be removed to make it sit a little flatter.
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    ernursejshort+sassy
  • It's a lovely dress that looks very good on you. I don't think it's overpowering at all. 

    Are you second guessing the dress because you're not sure you like it anymore, or because you're worried that your FI won't like it? If it's the latter, remember that your FI has no say in your wedding dress. You need to wear something that YOU love. Besides, I bet your FI will think you look beautiful on your wedding day no matter what. He's not going to be standing there thinking "Oh no, she wore a poofy dress, how could she!?" 

    Like @ShesSoCold said, give yourself a couple of days and then look at the dress again. If you've loved the dress for this long, I suspect you are just having a bad day and feeling doubtful about stuff, which happens to everyone from time to time. 
    image
    ernursejkalinda2STARMOON44short+sassy
  • I think it looks great your fiancé is probably thinking of over the top poofy dress. I know this is considered a ballgown but before I went shopping for dresses I thought this would be a fuller a line. If your comftable and it maid you so happy you cried I think your fine.
  • CasadenaCasadena
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    wow, I LOVE that dress on you.  Like, one of my favorite dresses I have seen on anyone recently.  I totally get feeling unsure and only you can decide whether its the right one for you.  However, if you're unsure that it doesn't look good - no fear, you look fabulous!

    Also, I definitely wouldn't classify that dress as "poofy" :)


  • edited July 9
    wow, thank you so much everyone! I promise this wasn't a post to get an ego boost, I truly still am not sure. Part of the issue is because anytime looking at dresses before going into a store I was always drawn more to something a bit more form fitting, and I was worried at my second fitting that the dress seems too big on me in regards to no shape to it. I'm not worried about my fiance not liking it, more so if a different shape/style would have better suited me :/
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
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    I think it looks absolutely gorgeous on you. 

    But, I gotta say that the biggest regret I have about my wedding was the dress. I didn't like it. I wish I'd just gotten over the cost and gotten a different dress. 

    Did you try on more form fitting dresses? Because the dresses I tried on in person that I'd thought would be best for me, ended up looking kind of bad. 

    The only person who can determine whether or not you love this dress or get a new one is you. I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I know it's a shitty, conflicted feeling. 
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    short+sassy
  • CasadenaCasadena
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    I think it looks absolutely gorgeous on you. 

    But, I gotta say that the biggest regret I have about my wedding was the dress. I didn't like it. I wish I'd just gotten over the cost and gotten a different dress. 

    Did you try on more form fitting dresses? Because the dresses I tried on in person that I'd thought would be best for me, ended up looking kind of bad. 

    The only person who can determine whether or not you love this dress or get a new one is you. I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I know it's a shitty, conflicted feeling. 

    To the bolded - SAME.  The dress I chose was very pretty, and looks very nice in pictures, but 5 years later, I still wish I would have gone with my gut and paid slightly more for the one I really wanted. 


    MesmrEwe
  • That dress is gorgeous and it looks fantastic on you.  You are not at all mistaken in that regard.

    I also wouldn't describe it as having no shape.  It is fitted on the top and accentuates your waist.

    It's natural to have some doubts after there has been some time to second-guess yourself.  Consider all the facts:  You love the dress.  You cried when you first put it on.  It sounds like you still feel beautiful and confident in it and are just wondering if you'd like something better.

    If you've already tried on a lot of dresses and loved this one, you're probably just having some nerves.  But if you're starting to have serious second guesses, it doesn't hurt to try on more dresses that are more in line with what you've been picturing.

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake
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    First off, that's a gorgeous dress and looks great on you! Second, I second seeing if any of the underskirt can be removed for a slimmer line, if you really want that. 
    Also, remember that with trying on dresses you're not getting the full bridal picture. The dress is obviously either not hemmed yet or you're just not wearing heels- that'll make a difference in how the dress falls. Your hair looks casual- if you're planning a fancier 'do and/or a veil, that'll make a difference. Same with jewelry! I think you'll fall in love with the dress all over again when you have the complete "look." 
    ________________________________


  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs
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    I love it! I agree, I don't find it too poofy at all.  I think mine may have been poofier!  It's very nice. The problem is there are just TO many to decide on, so I get it.  I had a few I loved.  

  • You look absolutely lovely.  And your fiance won't see the dress, he will see you, the woman he loves, in the dress. 
    MesmrEwe
  • I think this looks GORGEOUS on you, OP. Give yourself a few days and see how you feel. If you were so in love before, this is probably just nerves getting to you. It's a big decision!
    knottiea216f9e2282c6d6a
  • You look absolutely gorgeous in this dress. It is very flattering and honestly the first thing I thought when I looked at your dress was ‘whoa, gorgeous dress!’. If your fiance is more concerned about the puffiness of the dress and not how beautiful you look in said dress, I would be more concerned about that.

    Take it from someone who got the wrong dress (wrong cut and too form fitting) and decided to completely alter said dress, I didn’t look back. The moment that you described when you found your dress is the same reaction that I had when I finally finished upcycling my wedding dress. Come to think of it, I got the original wedding dress because my fiance liked it, but I didn’t feel beautiful in it. I felt felt fat and disgusting. You have to find a wedding dress that reflects you and makes you feel beautiful.

    If your dress does that for you and makes you feel beautiful, don’t second guess anything. 
  • Don't second guess yourself. And, Honey, let me give you a piece of solid advice: unless your fiancee works in the fashion industry, he's got no business telling you what to wear. Never take fashion advice from a guy unless he's a stylist, or a tailor, or somehow works in the fashion industry. Most guys are lucky if they can match their socks.
  • justsiejustsie
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    Don't second guess yourself. And, Honey, let me give you a piece of solid advice: unless your fiancee works in the fashion industry, he's got no business telling you what to wear. Never take fashion advice from a guy unless he's a stylist, or a tailor, or somehow works in the fashion industry. Most guys are lucky if they can match their socks.
    I'm hoping this is coming across ruder than you anticipated, but it can be harmful and hurtful to make generalizations like this. There are plenty of men not in the fashion industry that have wonderful fashion sense, and plenty of women who have none. 
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    levioosaMyNameIsNotahoywedding
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska
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    justsie said:
    Don't second guess yourself. And, Honey, let me give you a piece of solid advice: unless your fiancee works in the fashion industry, he's got no business telling you what to wear. Never take fashion advice from a guy unless he's a stylist, or a tailor, or somehow works in the fashion industry. Most guys are lucky if they can match their socks.
    I'm hoping this is coming across ruder than you anticipated, but it can be harmful and hurtful to make generalizations like this. There are plenty of men not in the fashion industry that have wonderful fashion sense, and plenty of women who have none. 
    And even men who have no fashion sense are still allowed to have opinions. I care about what my husband thinks, even though he did wear brown shoes with black dress pants before we got together. Do I always dress according to his preferences and I do I only buy stuff I know he'll like? No. But I definitely take into account what I know he likes when I'm shopping. And there are things I buy at least in part because I see it and I know he'd like it. (I will say, I never buy something I'll hate just because I think he'll like it. I have to like it too)

    And he does the same for me. There is nothing wrong with taking your spouse's tastes into account. I showed my H my two final wedding dress choices because I wanted to make sure he'd like them. 

    justsieahoywedding
  • OP... The thing to remember is to ask for clarification as his image of what he doesn't may be the extreme end of the spectrum instead of the more understated and elegant style like your gown is.  Either way - he'll be looking at you on your wedding day, not your dress...

    Image result for extremely poofy ball gown wedding dress
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  • I think you look absolutely STUNNING! That dress is AMAZING on you, truly. I think even with a fuller skirt, it is not over powering at all. I think it is very very flattering on you. The top gives you a great shape and really accentuates your body, and the waist line hits you in the perfect place. Then the skirt is very fun but still classic. LOVE LOVE LOVE!
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