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Missing Friends Bridal Shower but want to do something special

Knottiee0e311eefed3a11aKnottiee0e311eefed3a11a member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I am missing a very good friend's bridal shower and am planning on sending a gift. While I know that even that is not required, I would love to do something extra for her that day since I can't be there with her in person. I know flowers are always an option but just wondering if there are any other ideas out there? 

Sorry if this isn't the right board to be posting to!
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Re: Missing Friends Bridal Shower but want to do something special

  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
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    Are you thinking of sending something to her house, or to where the shower is being held? If it's the latter, just keep in mind it will then be something she has to transport home. 

    Personally I think sending a gift is enough. But if you wanted to do something extra, maybe a nice bottle of wine if she likes that? 
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  • Knottiee0e311eefed3a11aKnottiee0e311eefed3a11a member
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    I was thinking of sending to her house to keep the transportation of gifts to a minimum. 
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  • ahoyweddingahoywedding member
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    I'd send a gift (to your friend's home), and invite her to dinner/drinks/yoga class/massages, your treat. Spending time together is probably worth more than a gift.

    If you really want to do something extra the day of, could you contact the host and see if there is anything they need? Maybe an extra bottle of wine or two, or you could provide flowers, etc.
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    I think sending gifts to the house and contacting the hostess to see what extra may help is a nice gesture.   

    If the hostess has it covered then I'd offer a meal treat or a GC for a mani/pedi.
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  • Knottiee0e311eefed3a11aKnottiee0e311eefed3a11a member
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    Thanks for the suggestion on the "experience" gift, I am involved with the planning of her shower and at this point all the details are taken care of. 

    I was looking for something more day of specific so she feels extra special that day but perhaps a text or a phone call the morning of will suffice. 
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  • banana468banana468 member
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    Knottiee0e311eefed3a11a said:
    Thanks for the suggestion on the "experience" gift, I am involved with the planning of her shower and at this point all the details are taken care of. 

    I was looking for something more day of specific so she feels extra special that day but perhaps a text or a phone call the morning of will suffice. 
    If there's a favorite flower or cocktail I'd make sure she has that.   Also, if you are not able to be there but free at some point you could always try to Skype in.  
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    Knottiee0e311eefed3a11a said:
    Thanks for the suggestion on the "experience" gift, I am involved with the planning of her shower and at this point all the details are taken care of. 

    I was looking for something more day of specific so she feels extra special that day but perhaps a text or a phone call the morning of will suffice. 
    You could send her a small bracelet or something to wear the day of? Something small so it might not clash with anything else she planned to wear (or she obviously doesn't have to wear it at all but she'll get the thought). Or if she has one of those Pandora bracelets, a charm or something. 

    A pretty notebook or journal to use to keep track of the gifts? Like PPs suggested, a bottle of wine might be nice at her house for after the shower?
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
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    Knottiee0e311eefed3a11a said:
    Thanks for the suggestion on the "experience" gift, I am involved with the planning of her shower and at this point all the details are taken care of. 

    I was looking for something more day of specific so she feels extra special that day but perhaps a text or a phone call the morning of will suffice. 
    I think you’re risking making this about you not her. She will feel special because it’s her shower! 
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    ahoywedding said:
    STARMOON44 said:
    Knottiee0e311eefed3a11a said:
    Thanks for the suggestion on the "experience" gift, I am involved with the planning of her shower and at this point all the details are taken care of. 

    I was looking for something more day of specific so she feels extra special that day but perhaps a text or a phone call the morning of will suffice. 
    I think you’re risking making this about you not her. She will feel special because it’s her shower! 
    This is a good point. The shower is honoring her, she will be the center of attention, and everyone will be congratulating her, etc. If that doesn't already make her feel special, I'm not sure what you can do on top of that. It seems like you're looking for a way to make yourself feel better. Offer a heartfelt apology for not being able to make it, text her the morning of to say you're thinking of her, send a gift, and carry on with you friendship as usual. 
    Yeah I hadn't looked at it like this but I agree and I think you're right, starmoon. 

    OP, whatever your thought is, you could very easily look like you're trying to one up everyone else with your super special extra whatnot. 
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
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    I had to miss my sister's shower (I threw her one for our side of the family) and I sent flower's to the hostess who used them for decorations. I also sent my sister her favorite wine to her house (she hates social interactions so I knew she'd need it after the party). She loved it.

    Think about what your friend likes and would appreciate, and do that. 
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    If it's not already something you plan to do, you could write a letter to your friend, letting her know that you're thinking about her, how special your friendship is and the good wishes you have for her.
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  • Knottiee0e311eefed3a11aKnottiee0e311eefed3a11a member
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    Definitely not trying to upstage anyone. I had intended on the gesture being low key just to let her know I was thinking about her on her special day.  I just know this Bride has gone to great lengths to making each girl in our group of friends (including myself) feel special and that I would love to be able to do the same for her, knowing she may be a bit overwhemeled on the day. 

    I really appreciate all the suggestions and insight! A simple note is probably best. Thanks!  
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  • knottie7d6129cc92a62680knottie7d6129cc92a62680 member
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    sending flower is one "must" done thing to make your friend feel special on her day, especially a big one, maybe alongside with a bottle of her favorite wine or champagne
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