Do I invite friend's ex-wife?

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

So my friend recently said he is getting a divorce. We sent the STD's out before the divorce to them as a couple. Now we were thinking of inviting them seperately but my friend has requested for us not to invite her at all. I am not that close to this girl but I was at their wedding and her bach party and her shower etc etc. The only reason I am friends with her is b/c I met her through him. I don't really see her or hang out with her outside of group functions or wedding, parties etc etc.. so it really wouldn't make or break me either way if she is there but I WAS thinking of inviting her. If I do invite her, then there is a chance my friend wont come.

I also do not think this girl cares either way whether she is invited or not.. I am sure she would like to come (I don't know if she would), but I don't think she would be offended if we didn't invite her either. If we did invite her, she really won't know anyone else other than out small group of friends, meaning if we invited her, we would have to split up the group at the tables too.

This girl is more of an acquaintance than a friend really, we are not that close. I'm just not sure if it's bad etiquette now to not invite her since technically she got a STD.

daveANDkristen · December 2012

If you are not close with this woman, I'm sure she realizes that she was included on the STD as her husband's SO and wouldn't expect to be invited on her own. I would not invite her.

[Deleted User] · December 2012

I think you'll be safe by not inviting her

Loopyseven · December 2012

Yup. While divorces are often tricky invitation situations, in this case I think you're fine not to invite her, and she will probably not be surprised not to receive an actual invitation when the time comes.

AddieCake · December 2012

I wholeheartedly agree she will not be expecting the invitation.

libby2483 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-i-invite-friends-ex-wife?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0499c134-2deb-40aa-ac8f-ce5715acf2cdPost:0e2458d1-6de4-4dd5-bcb9-2b4fbaceb28a">Re: Do I invite friend's ex-wife?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you are not close with this woman, I'm sure she realizes that she was included on the STD as her husband's SO and wouldn't expect to be invited on her own. I would not invite her.
Posted by daveANDkristen[/QUOTE]

<div>This. We had two fairly serious couples break up between sending out invitations and the wedding, and in both cases, the SO did not attend.</div>

Carson386 · December 2012

I wouldn't send her one. The STD was sent assuming they were a couple, they are no longer a couple. If you really aren't close with her, and wouldn't have invited her if her her husband weren't married, I definitely think it's ok to just invite the friend and not the ex.

fieryangel · December 2012

I think you've answered your own question. You are obviously much closer with your friend than his ex. Would it be worth it to invite her and cause a problem like that with your friend? Is it very important to you that he attend? I think as everyone else has said, the STD was sent under the assumption they were a couple. Now that they aren't anymore, and he is your friend not her or them both equally, I think she will understand not getting an invite.