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People keep telling me it will be boring.


Re: People keep telling me it will be boring.

  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    well, my future mother-in-law is really gracious and hasn't told us what to do with the money, they're just paying for all of the vendors directly. So I don't want to hand her a bill for something that may not be necessary because of my sister or a friend's opinion.

    It's crazy because my sister was married already and she had a very expensive wedding, and it was really fancy and the food was good and I could go on and on and on, but she was so stressed about planning and worried about every little detail, I'm not sure exactly how much she got to enjoy her wedding. She was so concerned with every detail, and I never heard anybody complaining about that wedding, but I want to learn from her mistakes and I don't want to stress so much that I end up not enjoying my own wedding.
    There is a HUGE difference between stressing over every detail, and being a good host. 

    You are not being a good host. 

    Did I stress about certain details of my wedding? Sure. But I certainly enjoyed the hell out of my wedding day. I planned everything well in advance. I had a backup plan for our outdoor ceremony. I spent our money on things I knew people would enjoy, and things to enhance their experience, meaning I served a ton of great food in a timely manner, and had an open bar. I didn't spend money on floral arrangements. 

  • I was a low-stress bride too, but it was because we covered the basics of hosting (food, bathrooms, chairs), and deferred to the opinions of professionals. When the caterers told us how much food we'd need, I said okay yes I believe you & paid them. (I DID increase the beer counts several times, but you know). When our venue staff told us xyz was necessary, I believed them, since they have thrown many more weddings than I have.

    What was laid back is that I didn't care about the things that were true details: what kind of flowers we had (picked them up at TJs the day before), what dress the BMs wore, what color the chairs for the reception area were, etc etc. Food/bathrooms/guest comfort are not details. I knew we had the crucial parts taken care of, and anything else was just gravy. THAT is how you do things without stressing. 
  • I just went to a backyard wedding event that was A LOT like what you want to do OP except that it was a celebration of a wedding that took place over a month ago.   What they did:

    -Pool was open.   There was only ONE adult who used it with his kids and it was clogged with other kids between the ages of about 4 and 16.  No other grown ups went in.

    -Food and beverages were out.   They had at least two kegs plus a lot of wine.

    -Appetizers were out when DH and I got there. 

    -LOTS of food was served a couple hours in.   Only one glitch was running out of chicken nuggets for kiddo and I put the kibosh on the Chiquita tantrum telling her she gets the food that is available and not to make her family feel like they have to jump through hoops (she got her nuggets about a half hour later).

    -Most adults like myself didn't sit.   It wasn't because there was no seating but when you have to chase kids you don't sit down.   Anyone with a newborn or a youngest over 5 had it a little easier for relaxing. 

    -THERE WERE PORTA POTTIES!  The understood rule was women got interior bathroom priority and a #2 was best left in the traditional plumbing.  Other than that, go for the two porta potties outside.  

    We had a GREAT time because all those things were thought of in advance.   The guest list was about the same size as the OP's.  

    Also, due to the # of kids in the pool a pool float would have actually not been welcome.   The kids were running and splashing and moving around in there and a float would have just clogged the available real estate.  
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