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wedding registry and honeymoon fund?

knottiec88d9f0fc1cff17bknottiec88d9f0fc1cff17b member
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in Registry and Gift Forum
My fiance and I are registering at Bed Bath & Beyond, as well as Amazon. My question is would it be tacky to also include a Honeymoon Fund? I like the idea of having one but don't know the proper etiquette, if you're "allowed" to have both types or not.

Thanks! 
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Re: wedding registry and honeymoon fund?

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    knottiec88d9f0fc1cff17b said:
    My fiance and I are registering at Bed Bath & Beyond, as well as Amazon. My question is would it be tacky to also include a Honeymoon Fund? I like the idea of having one but don't know the proper etiquette, if you're "allowed" to have both types or not.

    Thanks! 
    Honeymoon registries are always rude. It doesn't matter whether it's the only one you have or if you have a proper registry in addition.

    It's just registering for money, and most are deceitful to guests. If people want to give you money, they'll put it in an envelope. No need to let some company take a cut, or fool guests into thinking they're actually buying you an experience. 
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Honeymoon funds are tacky and rude because they are a deceitful cash grab. People know how to write you a check on their own without some website taking a percentage, I promise.
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  • ernursejernursej member
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Small physical gift registries and then if asked, let people know that you are saving up for a honeymoon. Don't have a honeyfund. It is tacky. People will get the hint if you don't have large physical gift registries. We didn't register for anything and the only 'boxed gifts' we got was wine. Everything else was money or gift certificates for restaurants etc. I think only one person asked and we told them that we honestly didn't need anything and we were just looking forward to being with them to celebrate.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited June 2018
    Yes, it would. I would just register at Bed Bath & Beyond and Amazon. Anyone who wants to give you cash can do so directly, which you can then spend on anything you like, including your honeymoon.

    Honeyfunds merely collect the contributions, help themselves to a cut, and give you whatever cash remains. They do not buy "honeymoon experiences" for the couple. Tl:Dr: Honeyfunds are a bait-and-switch.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ditto PPs. No to the Honeyfund. 


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  • ahoyweddingahoywedding member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ugh, I JUST got invited for a shower for a friend who has a tiny registry and a honeymoon fund. It's very obvious that her honeymoon fund isn't going to anything tangible (aka actually booking you a tour or a dinner or something etc) because every item on there was the same dollar amount. That just smacks of "give us money please!"

    OP, have a tiny registry (and no shower!) and people will get the hint and give cash. Just don't take anyone up on offers for gift-giving pre-wedding events. 
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  • knottieaf90fa6709158536knottieaf90fa6709158536 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    Hey there, please ignore the professional trolls on here and do what works best for you and your family / friends. 
    Seriously this forum is ridiculous with all the uptight, know-know-it-alls who push far too many young and stressed out brides-to-be to make decisions based on localized and outdated etiquette. These 'helpful brides' are just living in a bubble thinking if you cant afford a grand ol traditional, debt inducing wedding.. then you don't deserve one at all. God forbid people want to celebrate their love with family and friends without being judged by callous socialites. 
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  • justsiejustsie member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    knottieaf90fa6709158536 said:
    Hey there, please ignore the professional trolls on here and do what works best for you and your family / friends. 
    Seriously this forum is ridiculous with all the uptight, know-know-it-alls who push far too many young and stressed out brides-to-be to make decisions based on localized and outdated etiquette. These 'helpful brides' are just living in a bubble thinking if you cant afford a grand ol traditional, debt inducing wedding.. then you don't deserve one at all. God forbid people want to celebrate their love with family and friends without being judged by callous socialites. 
    Oh please, the people here have been beyond helpful to so many on how to save money/stick to a budget while treating guests well. Not going into debt over a wedding (which ??????) and treating guests with proper etiquette are not mutually exclusive to anyone but you knottie#. If you are wanting to celebrate with your loved ones, why not do so in a way that focuses on their comfort as well as your own?
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I'd love to be a socialite. I'd have a lot less debt, I'd travel way more, I'd live in a nicer area, and I'd go to way better parties. 

    I mean, I believe in hosting well. You don't have to go into debt for that (nor should you). That's not "localized etiquette." That's treating people with respect. 


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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    knottieaf90fa6709158536 said:
    Hey there, please ignore the professional trolls on here and do what works best for you and your family / friends. 
    Seriously this forum is ridiculous with all the uptight, know-know-it-alls who push far too many young and stressed out brides-to-be to make decisions based on localized and outdated etiquette. These 'helpful brides' are just living in a bubble thinking if you cant afford a grand ol traditional, debt inducing wedding.. then you don't deserve one at all. God forbid people want to celebrate their love with family and friends without being judged by callous socialites. 
    This is hilarious. Most of us did not have traditional debt inducing weddings, and we'd actually never advise someone to do that. 

    Socialites? I come from a blue collar family and work 50 hours a week. 

    Asking your guests to pay for your honeymoon will ALWAYS be tacky. 
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  • LondonLisaLondonLisa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    How does one become a professional troll AND a socialite? Is there a Moldovan Facebook farm and Swiss finishing school wrapped into one that I am unfamiliar with? 

    Because I’ve been letting you know the truth for free. Honeyfunds are tacky. Now if we could get paid for it...
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  • knottiec523d06b715c3616knottiec523d06b715c3616 member
    First Comment
    edited August 2018

    Del

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  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Seriously wondering if name-calling knottie is either the OP or friend of the OP coming to try and give a “different view”.
    Serious question- if what you want is cash and a guest decides to gift you $100, do you want the full $100 or $85-90?  Honeymoon fund sites take a cut for themselves, just FYI.  In addition to being crass they don’t even make financial sense.
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  • maine7mobmaine7mob member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Wow. I'm not a socialite, but I do know when something is tacky, and any overt cash grab is just that. You don't have to go into debt to have a wedding.

    There is this myth that every wedding reception has to include a fancy sit down dinner and a big poofy dress, but you are just as married with a courthouse wedding and a cake and punch reception.

    Even if you have an extensive registry, you will still get cash gifts. People know that young couples need money. My D and son in law registered for everything from sheets to blenders, but some people still gave money. You don't have to ask for it.

    And as a gift giver, I know from experience that I am way more generous with people who don't act entitled than with those who do. This is just human nature. People like to feel generous, not as if they are meeting some demand.
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    ahoywedding said:
    Ugh, I JUST got invited for a shower for a friend who has a tiny registry and a honeymoon fund. It's very obvious that her honeymoon fund isn't going to anything tangible (aka actually booking you a tour or a dinner or something etc) because every item on there was the same dollar amount. That just smacks of "give us money please!"

    OP, have a tiny registry (and no shower!) and people will get the hint and give cash. Just don't take anyone up on offers for gift-giving pre-wedding events. 
    In this case I would get something off registry. FFS, a shower is for box gifts not for cash anyway! Can anyone say metal rooster?
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    knottie3a07c9dc00519677 said:
    Wow. I'm not a socialite, but I do know when something is tacky, and any overt cash grab is just that. You don't have to go into debt to have a wedding.

    There is this myth that every wedding reception has to include a fancy sit down dinner and a big poofy dress, but you are just as married with a courthouse wedding and a cake and punch reception.

    Even if you have an extensive registry, you will still get cash gifts. People know that young couples need money. My D and son in law registered for everything from sheets to blenders, but some people still gave money. You don't have to ask for it.

    And as a gift giver, I know from experience that I am way more generous with people who don't act entitled than with those who do. This is just human nature. People like to feel generous, not as if they are meeting some demand.
    This.
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  • knottie4feed05016ac3a19knottie4feed05016ac3a19 member

    I am turning towards the opinion that you can only have one. You can either have a wedding registry or a honeymoon fund. I have been married only for a couple of months and I must confess that all the money that we have received as gifts were spent in order to cover the cost of the wedding. So, I think it would be wise of you to save up for the honeymoon yourself. Or you can take a loan from online lending institution. But you need to read more about the loan application online in order to know more about personal lenders. 

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