Tuesday!

OliveOilsMom · September 2018

Hi all! I was so busy with work yesterday I missed stopping by to say hello!

The weekend was good! I don't remember what we did on Saturday other than church! On Sunday we had my cousin's wedding. It was very nice an nary an etiquette issue! It rained like crazy all day, so they had to scrap their outside ceremony. DD had fun dancing with all her cousins though! She did pretty good and crashed hard in the car on the ride home. Good thing we put her in her jams before we left and I gave her a sippy cup with milk! H put her right to bed when we got home and she muffled a small cry and rolled over back to sleep! Whew! That could have gone the opposite way and been a bad night in our house!

Today H has a dentist appointment after work. So I may need to pick up DD after work. Not sure what else for tonight. I should be able to send the invites out for my mom's party this week, just waiting for a few more addresses!

missJeanLouise · September 2018

SSC- I hope Edna likes her new bench. It is sweet of you to think of her.
Casadena- I am with you. I don’t like lox either.

Nothing new here. I may have said this before (that’s how little I have going on), I decided to work until the 21st. Part of me is like Yay, the other part is a little sad. I hate going to work, I love being at work. It makes no sense.
but work is going through some mgmt changes so it will be nice for the dust to settle and the complaining to stop for when I come back. And I CAN NOT WAIT to start riding again.

ei34 · September 2018

Cynthia Nixon and DeBlazz should eat their food however they like...it’s blasphemous in our parts but I love to dip my pizza in ranch dressing.

I’m actually having pizza for dinner tonight! Growing up we always ordered the same thing (two large pies, one plain and one half pepperoni half pepper and onion) every Friday night. Seventeen years ago my mom siblings and I were in panic mode bc we hadn’t heard from my dad all day (he was a firefighter) and the pizzeria owner walked up our driveway with our regular order. Just bc he was thinking of us. I know it’s just pizza but it was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done. About an hour later my dad was finally able to call and say he was alive. He was diagnosed with 9/11-related kidney cancer in 2014 and had to retire, but he’s still here and physically okay. But every year my siblings and I go to our parents’ house and we order the same thing. We all get this blinding 9/11-related sadness from late Aug-mid Sept so it’s nice to just be together.

I like PB2 in my morning shake but not as a substitute for actual peanut butter. Good vibes to everyone who has family in the Carolinas!

CharmedPam · September 2018

eileenrob said:

Cynthia Nixon and DeBlazz should eat their food however they like...it’s blasphemous in our parts but I love to dip my pizza in ranch dressing.

I’m actually having pizza for dinner tonight! Growing up we always ordered the same thing (two large pies, one plain and one half pepperoni half pepper and onion) every Friday night. Seventeen years ago my mom siblings and I were in panic mode bc we hadn’t heard from my dad all day (he was a firefighter) and the pizzeria owner walked up our driveway with our regular order. Just bc he was thinking of us. I know it’s just pizza but it was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done. About an hour later my dad was finally able to call and say he was alive. He was diagnosed with 9/11-related kidney cancer in 2014 and had to retire, but he’s still here and physically okay. But every year my siblings and I go to our parents’ house and we order the same thing. We all get this blinding 9/11-related sadness from late Aug-mid Sept so it’s nice to just be together.

I like PB2 in my morning shake but not as a substitute for actual peanut butter. Good vibes to everyone who has family in the Carolinas!

What a sweet story @eileenrob. Glad your Dad is physically OK despite all that.

Agreed on the whole leave Cynthia Nixon food choices out of this debate. I loved her "don't yuck my yum!' quote.

OliveOilsMom · September 2018

Just need to vent. So MIL has been on a bit of - I don't even know what to call it - a self-centered (?) bender lately. She decided to have the gastric sleeve surgery in late July/early August, without telling either of her sons. She really did not need this surgery and she will never follow the new diet restrictions. She loves eating and drinking soda (diet, but still not allowed) too much. She also isn't that overweight. When she takes her walks, she loses weight easily - she just hasn't been doing them. We put together a treadmill for her over 2 years ago - she has never stepped foot on it. I honestly think she never planned to tell anyone, except we invited her and her BF over for dinner. But she couldn't eat anything yet, so she had to tell us! She even said to my H that she didn't tell any of us because she didn't want to hear our comments.

Well today, we just found out she is in ICU because her kidneys were shutting down! This all started happening yesterday, but neither she or her BF called my H or BIL. She was admitted and doctor's have her kidneys working. They don't think she will need dialysis. I am so thankful she is ok and being carefully monitored. But I am also supremely pissed that she did not call either son! Her BF cannot make any decisions, she does not have a living will with him as the director of her medical decisions. She also seems to only think of him as roommate, keeping him around so she is not lonely, though all over fb is my "hunny" this and that. It seems all for show, for those who don't hear her really speak about him.

She is also going to be admitted for a few more days, so this must still be a very serious issues for them to keep her in the hospital. But yet, no call to either son. My H didn't even know if BIL knew! So I texted SIL to let her know, BIL is in a training for work - so she will have to tell him later.

I am already talking with H and SIL about having a CTJ talk with her not informing her sons about important issues relating to her health. I know a lot of my anger is over how my H is being treated like an after thought to everything, but I just can't help it.

Vent over!

Any positive health vibes that can be sent MILs way, I would greatly appreciate them. I know I probably sound like a brat with my vent. I truly do love MIL and am praying for her health - its just hard to not feel my H's hurt as well.

CharmedPam · September 2018

yikes @oliveoilsmom! So she's on the liquid diet still and the kidney's shut down? I'm surprised, because if done correctly (even in Mexico) you have to go through so much testing!!! If she had kidney problems before, surely it would have come up in a test? You're not a brat at all, but a worried DIL. My thoughts go out to her - scary shit!

short+sassy · September 2018

eileenrob said:

Cynthia Nixon and DeBlazz should eat their food however they like...it’s blasphemous in our parts but I love to dip my pizza in ranch dressing.

I’m actually having pizza for dinner tonight! Growing up we always ordered the same thing (two large pies, one plain and one half pepperoni half pepper and onion) every Friday night. Seventeen years ago my mom siblings and I were in panic mode bc we hadn’t heard from my dad all day (he was a firefighter) and the pizzeria owner walked up our driveway with our regular order. Just bc he was thinking of us. I know it’s just pizza but it was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done. About an hour later my dad was finally able to call and say he was alive. He was diagnosed with 9/11-related kidney cancer in 2014 and had to retire, but he’s still here and physically okay. But every year my siblings and I go to our parents’ house and we order the same thing. We all get this blinding 9/11-related sadness from late Aug-mid Sept so it’s nice to just be together.

I like PB2 in my morning shake but not as a substitute for actual peanut butter. Good vibes to everyone who has family in the Carolinas!

Thanks for sharing that story! It's that type of thoughtfulness that gives me faith in the human race. And look at how his small kindness has been so impactful for your family. I hope your father's health continues to stay as strong as possible.

NBSquared2017 · September 2018

eileenrob said:

Cynthia Nixon and DeBlazz should eat their food however they like...it’s blasphemous in our parts but I love to dip my pizza in ranch dressing.

I’m actually having pizza for dinner tonight! Growing up we always ordered the same thing (two large pies, one plain and one half pepperoni half pepper and onion) every Friday night. Seventeen years ago my mom siblings and I were in panic mode bc we hadn’t heard from my dad all day (he was a firefighter) and the pizzeria owner walked up our driveway with our regular order. Just bc he was thinking of us. I know it’s just pizza but it was one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done. About an hour later my dad was finally able to call and say he was alive. He was diagnosed with 9/11-related kidney cancer in 2014 and had to retire, but he’s still here and physically okay. But every year my siblings and I go to our parents’ house and we order the same thing. We all get this blinding 9/11-related sadness from late Aug-mid Sept so it’s nice to just be together.

I like PB2 in my morning shake but not as a substitute for actual peanut butter. Good vibes to everyone who has family in the Carolinas!

I think ranch dressing is a staple in the midwest and I hate it! When I lived in Ohio, people would literally get a side of ranch dressing with everything. I don't know why I don't like it - it's just meh.

mrsconn23 · September 2018

Holy shit, @OliveOilsMom! That's awful. And yes, completely self-centered. I'd be right pissed as well. ICU is no fucking joke.

I'm here.

Mostly SSDD.

Speaking of people in ICU, DH's uncle had his chest tube removed yesterday. He started using a computer this week. So thankful things are continuing to improve for him. It has to be a relief to his wife and kids. I know that hi son is anxious for his dad to bust out of ICU so he can finally meet their daughter.

Oh! And my cousin's wife had their baby yesterday. Baby #4 (!!!) and the first girl for them.

banana468 · September 2018

@eileenrob your story put a tear in my eye.

@OliveOilsMom T&P for your MIL. And maybe some T&P for a come to deity discussion with the sons on making decisions? Is she of sound mind but making poor choices?

sparklepants41 · September 2018

@eileenrob thinking of you and your family. I love that you guys all get together and order the same thing every year on this day.

@OliveOilsMom sending you and your H hugs and sending out healing vibes for your MIL.

OliveOilsMom · September 2018

Eileen - That story is really touching. I'm glad that your father is doing well, even with his cancer scare.

Thank you everyone. I'm just at a loss in how she is acting. She always relied heavily upon H for many things, after FILs sudden passing. She really mentally broke down from FILs passing - it was from a car accident, they literally paid off their house just a few months before. So life was supposed to start getting easier for them. And in a flash he was gone.

To answer some questions. I don't even know if she was still on the liquid diet portion. She was so vague with H when he found out about the surgery, so we don't even know when she had it. She was still under her doctor's care because he wouldn't let her work yet (she is a school bus driver, so her job just started back up) and she was mad at the doctor for not releasing her yet. I last saw MIL the Friday before Labor Day weekend. Daycare was closed and she was watching DD for us. The BF had come with her to help because she was still restricted to only lifting 10 pounds.

She seems of as sound of mind as when I first met her 9 years ago, so I'm not sure why she is making these poor decisions now. I think most of it stems from her knowing we would not be supportive of the surgery. It first came up for her, because her BF was pursuing it for himself. He is probably borderline, if not fully, obese due to his height/weight ratio. He also has bad knee pains due to his weight and cannot have them replaced until he looses weight. So for him, the surgery made sense - he has not had it yet. Thought I know he will not do well long term on the diet either. He loves to eat, especially candy and other sweets. He also loves his soda and tea having multiple glasses during meals. He is also a recovering alcoholic and I think he exchanged booze for food. So if you restrict his food intake, I'm afraid he will fall off the wagon. He says that MIL is the reason he is and stays sober, but he also found another vice in food. I don't know what will happen when his other vice is taken away (even temporarily).

short+sassy · September 2018

@OliveOilsMom, that's really scary news! I'm glad it sounds like she'll be okay. I hope she takes this seriously and figures out what caused the problem. And hopefully it will also scare her to stay on the necessary diet, since that is a concern you have for the long term.

I don't blame your H for feeling hurt and you for feeling angry about that. Those are normal emotions.

But, you know how people can sometimes be. Maybe she didn't think it was serious and didn't want to worry or bother her sons. I'm not saying that was the right choice! But it might have been what she was thinking.

I actually had a similar experience like that with my mom. Though, she wasn't the one gravely ill, my sister was. Long story short, my sister had developed an infection in one of her lungs. It was a total, freak thing. My BIL rushed her to the emergency room, but she was in bad shape. They got her stabilized and kept her in the hospital a few days with shunts, hoping they could get rid of the infection that way. It didn't work, so she had to have major surgery that had a lot of risk.

Except I didn't hear any of this, until about a week later when my sister was mostly out of the woods from the surgery. I definitely felt a rush of anger I had not been told sooner, but stayed calm because I knew my mom was upset. Without any prompting from me, my mom apologized for not telling me sooner. But, since I lived so far away anyway, she didn't want to worry me until after things had calmed down a little. I understood why she did what she did. One could argue I was happier for it, being in the dark. But I couldn't help having a little bit of resentment.

On the hugest bright side. That was many years ago and my sister made a full recovery. Though, it was a long and tough recovery.

short+sassy · September 2018

@OliveOilsMom, I just saw your second post. Hopefully her BF will have his surgery, shortly after your mom is fully recovered from this as well as her sleeve surgery. I'd think it would be much easier for both of them to stick to the new eating regime, if they are doing it together.

CharmedPam · September 2018

OliveOilsMom said:

Eileen - That story is really touching. I'm glad that your father is doing well, even with his cancer scare.
Thank you everyone. I'm just at a loss in how she is acting. She always relied heavily upon H for many things, after FILs sudden passing. She really mentally broke down from FILs passing - it was from a car accident, they literally paid off their house just a few months before. So life was supposed to start getting easier for them. And in a flash he was gone.
To answer some questions. I don't even know if she was still on the liquid diet portion. She was so vague with H when he found out about the surgery, so we don't even know when she had it. She was still under her doctor's care because he wouldn't let her work yet (she is a school bus driver, so her job just started back up) and she was mad at the doctor for not releasing her yet. I last saw MIL the Friday before Labor Day weekend. Daycare was closed and she was watching DD for us. The BF had come with her to help because she was still restricted to only lifting 10 pounds.
She seems of as sound of mind as when I first met her 9 years ago, so I'm not sure why she is making these poor decisions now. I think most of it stems from her knowing we would not be supportive of the surgery. It first came up for her, because her BF was pursuing it for himself. He is probably borderline, if not fully, obese due to his height/weight ratio. He also has bad knee pains due to his weight and cannot have them replaced until he looses weight. So for him, the surgery made sense - he has not had it yet. Thought I know he will not do well long term on the diet either. He loves to eat, especially candy and other sweets. He also loves his soda and tea having multiple glasses during meals. He is also a recovering alcoholic and I think he exchanged booze for food. So if you restrict his food intake, I'm afraid he will fall off the wagon. He says that MIL is the reason he is and stays sober, but he also found another vice in food. I don't know what will happen when his other vice is taken away (even temporarily).

Right. You have to be in the correct mindset to get this surgery. You can still eat/drink your sugars with the sleeve. Now if it was bypass, they'd have 'dumping' syndrome and be ill every time they tried. IMO you will need more will power with the sleeve.

It really sounds like she's still within the 6 weeks of surgery, from what you're describing.

levioosa · September 2018

That’s all so frustrating @OliveOilsMom. I would be upset too. My grandparents try to keep health issues hidden and it’s really annoying. I don’t want to find out you’ve been in the hospital after you get out. I want to know so I can help and advocate for you.

short+sassy · September 2018

I know we all get ridiculous telemarketing calls, but this one was extra bizarre because of the subject.

Mattresses. Really.

It was the usual noisy background and someone with a foreign accent. Who said something about calling from my request about orthopedic mattresses to help alleviate my bad back. I know I should have just hung up, but sometimes the absurdity gets to me, lol. I replied, "No, I have no idea why you're calling me. I don't have back problems. Please put me on your Do Not Call list."

And what I was thinking...

But the next time I'm in the market for a mattress, I will be sure to order something so large and personal off some sketch and random telemarketing call. By a foreign company who blatantly flaunts the Do Not Call Registry.

I mean, if you're going to be a scammer. At least the pretend items you're selling should be discounted Ipads or gift cards. Things most people would be interested in, lol.

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