Resources for an Over 40 Bride

Re: Resources for an Over 40 Bride

• levioosa member

  

  September 2018

  knottie29f223b0276a2df6 said:

  (I looked through all the other forums and I didn't seem to find anything to answer this question).
  This will by my first marriage, but my fiance's second one. I've scoured the magazines and books for ideas, but many of them seem too trendy, or more suited to someone in their 20's or 30's. Since it will be my first, I am looking for something memorable, but more suited for someone my age. A lot of the etiquette books have addressed over-40 marriages as being "second marriages, so they don't spend much, if any, time on things such as parties or decor.  
  Can anyone recommend some resources (books, magazines etc) for this situation? 
  Thank you in advance.

  Miss Manner’s Guide to a Dignified Wedding. It’s a book people of all ages should read. Honestly, there’s only one real (well, two) rules. One, the day of your wedding and reception should be the real legal wedding. And two: host well. As long as guests don’t have to open their wallets for food or drink, you don’t tier the reception, all SO’s are invited, your guests don’t have to stand during the ceremony, no gaps, etc, you can have the wedding you want. You want a small intimate family only wedding followed by dinner at a restaurant? Awesome. You want a $100K Black Tie affair? Fantastic. As long as you host guests properly and get legally married that day with a reception immediately following, go ahead and have the wedding you want. 
  
  This board is also pretty dead so if you don’t get many responses here you could try reposting with “XP” in the title (letting us know it’s a repost) on other boards with more traffic. The most frequented boards are etiquette, chit chat, and wedding woes. Welcome to the knot! 

  
  

  
  

  

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• MobKaz member

  

  September 2018

  You may be having difficulty finding resources because age should not be a factor.  Sure, you might feel odd having a garter toss, for example, but younger brides are opting out of some of those "traditions" as well.

  
  

  If you could have any type of dinner party for your nearest and dearest, what would you do?  Quiet and elegant?  Casual? What do you and your FI like to eat?  I personally would take the wedding element out of the equation to start.  Look at magazines that lend themselves to dinner parties.  I would bet Martha Stewart has an boatload of books/articles on hosting dinner parties.  In addition to what @levioosa suggested, just remember that this reception is a reflection of you and your FI, and not the wedding industry.

  
  

  My daughter had a larger reception in a suburban country club setting.  She had a DJ and a fairly robust dance floor.  She wore a full wedding gown.  They had spotlight dances.  My son had a smaller reception in a private room in a restaurant in the city.  They played music from a laptop.  His bride wore a gorgeous tea length wedding dress.  Other than a first dance, there were no other spotlight dances.  Their receptions could not be more different, and yet they are only two years apart in age.  Take your age and wedding out of the equation and just start planning!
  

  
  

  
  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  September 2018 edited September 2018

  What kind of wedding do both of you want? Plan that. Age shouldn't matter. 
  
  ETA: I was 34 on my wedding day and my H was 41. It was my second marriage and his first. We had a beautiful daytime wedding at a mountain resort. It was perfect, and exactly what we wanted. 

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• short+sassy member

  

  September 2018

  I was 38 when I got married and my H was 47.  I'd never been married before and he'd been married twice before.  I think the only difference it made, at least for us, on our ages/experience is that we both wanted something smaller and at a lower cost.

  He would have preferred us getting married locally at the JOP and going out for a nice dinner afterwards.  Just the two of us.  He definitely did not want a large wedding/reception.  But he understood that I did want guests.  He was happy and cool with that my vision of our wedding/reception was still on the small, intimate side (35 guests).

  If I'd been in my 20's, I know I would have wanted something bigger and more grand.  But, in my late 30's, this gal was well acquainted with the value of a dollar and didn't want to blow half a year's wages on one party, lol.

  That's a long story to say, there isn't much difference in planning a lovely wedding day.  No matter what age you are.  We pinched our pennies by keeping the guest list small.  But our reception was foremost for our guests.  We had a seat for every butt.  And didn't skimp on the great food and drinks!     
  

  

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