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Etiquette

Obvious B-list is obvious

Pockets143Pockets143 member
Seventh Anniversary 10 Comments
edited November 2018 in Etiquette
*posting from an old account, since my regular one was lost in the ether*

On Friday, I received a wedding invitation from an ex. We're friends-ish now, the relationship ended 10 years ago. We haven't had any meaningful conversation outside of the occasional FB comment in years. Obviously, not expecting an invite, and probably wouldn't be planning to go if I received one. They've had the date set for a year.

Y'all. The wedding is next week. On a weekday. An entire state away. Of course the invite included a honeyfund link. So, not only was I obviously invited after the first round of RSVPs came in and numbers were low, because weekday wedding the week of a holiday, but I'm 99% sure I was only sent an invite as a fish for money in their honeyfund. 

I'm amused, and somewhat impressed at the gall it takes to be this tacky. 

*edited to remove identifying details, in case one of them lurks here*

Re: Obvious B-list is obvious

  • Well, if it's next Wednesday at least that's sort of like a Friday  night wedding - only worse if you're a grown up who is planning to cook a Thanksgiving dinner!

    Sounds like you're going to give them well wishes. 
    charlotte989875ei34Jen4948
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Guess they didn't get enough contributions to cover a honeymoon.

                       
    charlotte989875ei34Jen4948ahoywedding
  • As it happens, I am off all next week, but I won't be attending, local trainwrecks only :wink: I had already sent a small gift before receiving the invite, so their fishing expedition was in vain. 
    Jen4948ahoyweddingMesmrEwe
  • Your last sentence is everything.  I’ve been blown away by all-out brazen tackiness soo many times and it still shocks me.
    Jen4948MairePoppyahoywedding
  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher Looking over your shoulder member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I received an obvious B-list invitation a few years ago. Invitation arrived on 1/31. RSVP date was 2/1 - except they hand-wrote "2" in front of the 1. Everything about this wedding was an etiquette fail. Outdoor ceremony in the morning in mid-March in the DC area with a dress code of long gowns and lawn shoes for women. Evening dinner cruise 6 hours later with a "cocktail" dress code and cash bar. Color palettes were provided for both events. Also included their honeymoon fund info with the invitation. OH! And the bridal shower was a brunch where attendees would assemble the centerpieces and bouquets. We couldn't nope fast enough.
    ~*~*~*~*~

    thisismynickname2
  • I received an obvious B-list invitation a few years ago. Invitation arrived on 1/31. RSVP date was 2/1 - except they hand-wrote "2" in front of the 1. Everything about this wedding was an etiquette fail. Outdoor ceremony in the morning in mid-March in the DC area with a dress code of long gowns and lawn shoes for women. Evening dinner cruise 6 hours later with a "cocktail" dress code and cash bar. Color palettes were provided for both events. Also included their honeymoon fund info with the invitation. OH! And the bridal shower was a brunch where attendees would assemble the centerpieces and bouquets. We couldn't nope fast enough.


    SITB

    Ugh, that sounds awful! Also, I hate when people dictate dress code as though adults can't dress themselves. 
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I received an obvious B-list invitation a few years ago. Invitation arrived on 1/31. RSVP date was 2/1 - except they hand-wrote "2" in front of the 1. Everything about this wedding was an etiquette fail. Outdoor ceremony in the morning in mid-March in the DC area with a dress code of long gowns and lawn shoes for women. Evening dinner cruise 6 hours later with a "cocktail" dress code and cash bar. Color palettes were provided for both events. Also included their honeymoon fund info with the invitation. OH! And the bridal shower was a brunch where attendees would assemble the centerpieces and bouquets. We couldn't nope fast enough.


    SITB

    Ugh, that sounds awful! Also, I hate when people dictate dress code as though adults can't dress themselves. 
    First off, that is a Z list! nope

    I find that when people list a dress code - no one follows that anyway (I mean I've never been to a black tie wedding where it would be obvious) 

  • Yea - you weren't B-listed, you were "Crap - she thinks us significant enough that she sent us a gift we should have thought enough of her to invite her" Z-list...  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    MairePoppyahoywedding
  • As it happens, I am off all next week, but I won't be attending, local trainwrecks only :wink: I had already sent a small gift before receiving the invite, so their fishing expedition was in vain. 

    Maybe they sent the invite after receiving your gift and it felt like an obligation invite?
    MairePoppyMesmrEwe
  • MesmrEwe said:
    Yea - you weren't B-listed, you were "Crap - she thinks us significant enough that she sent us a gift we should have thought enough of her to invite her" Z-list...  
    I doubt it, as based on the postmark, they sent the invite before they received the gift, and I didn't tell them I had sent it. It was a small thing anyway. 
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