Wedding Woes

She sounds unreasonable, but I think you should talk to your BF.

Dear Prudence,

I recently flew out to visit my boyfriend at his older sister’s house. My flight was delayed four hours, and the airline lost my luggage. By the time I got to the house, I just wanted to take a shower and get clean. The guest bathroom had a pretty arrangement of toiletries (minisoap, shampoos, etc.) and fluffy towels right by the bath. I used them without thinking, just like I borrowed a shirt and a toothbrush from my boyfriend. The next day, my boyfriend’s sister drove me back to the airport and lectured me, saying I should have asked for shampoo and conditioner from her and not used the fancy ones in the bathroom. She said she has to order them online and it was very rude of me. I felt like a 6-year-old getting lectured for having an “accident.” My boyfriend and I got back home, but this situation still bothers me. I haven’t told my boyfriend because I didn’t want to cause trouble, but we are going back to his sister’s for the holidays. Did I do something wrong here? His sister lives in the Deep South, while we live on the coast. I have never stayed at anyone’s house except for a few slumber parties as a kid.

—Good Towels

Re: She sounds unreasonable, but I think you should talk to your BF.


  • SIL is a bitch, but also crazy. Why would you put out fancy toiletries in the guest bathroom for any reason other than guests to use? Unless she didn't think LW was an important enough guest for these toiletries? 
    This is where I too am stuck on the "WTF?!" wheel.  I mean, if they are that precious to the sister...then why weren't they in her personal bathroom?  It really makes no sense.  Sorry the queen couldn't come, crazy lady. 
    ILoveBeachMusic
  • Personally, our guest room is "stocked" with hotel toiletries or things I was gifted and didn't like (looking at you, stupid lavender body wash), so I always apologize for the lame collection of things in the shower but encourage people to use them up. 

    I remember my mom having some decorative holiday soaps and those tiny useless decorative towels when we were kids that we couldn't use, but I thought most of that had gone out of style since the 1990s.
    charlotte989875ernursej
  • Wowzers.  I can't believe how rude and unwelcoming the b/f's sister was!  Over toiletries, of all things.  And here the poor LW thinks she may have done something wrong or unintentionally rude.

    No, LW.  This isn't something regional or something you didn't understand about a guest bathroom.  Your b/f's sister is just a drama-llama who apparently uses toiletries as part of her décor (I guess?).

    Since they are about to have an upcoming trip to the sister's, I'd mention the incident to him.  Not so much as to complain about his sister, but more to find out if she has any other "eccentricities/pet peeves" that I should steer away from.  And I probably would walk on eggshells a little bit and ask more questions before I took something out of the fridge/pantry/other.

    Not in a passive-aggressive way.  Just in a "I don't want to accidentally take the Apricot Le Croix that has to be specially ordered from Amazon."  Because it frickin' does.  Because it's not carried in my area and that is an IRL example, lol.  

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    mrsconn23ahoywedding

  • Not in a passive-aggressive way.  Just in a "I don't want to accidentally take the Apricot Le Croix that has to be specially ordered from Amazon."  Because it frickin' does.  Because it's not carried in my area and that is an IRL example, lol.  

    OH NO.  That IS tragic.  Apricot is so good. 
    short+sassycharlotte989875
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm so confused by the SIL. I'm one of those southern people who puts fancy soap in the guest bathroom, for guests. I grew up being told that the lacy towels are for guests only. 

    SIL is a bitch, but also crazy. Why would you put out fancy toiletries in the guest bathroom for any reason other than guests to use? Unless she didn't think LW was an important enough guest for these toiletries? 
    Exactly this. I am a good host. I also have expensive taste so the things in my bathroom tend to be on the pricey side. I always encourage guests to use what they need. If I don’t want people using things, I put them away or tell them (ex. The $50-$75 bottles of wine I hide during parties so they don’t accidentally get opened). SIL is ridiculous. 


    image
    charlotte989875ahoyweddingOliveOilsMom
  • mrsconn23 said:


    Not in a passive-aggressive way.  Just in a "I don't want to accidentally take the Apricot Le Croix that has to be specially ordered from Amazon."  Because it frickin' does.  Because it's not carried in my area and that is an IRL example, lol.  

    OH NO.  That IS tragic.  Apricot is so good. 

    I was already familiar with La Croix and a fan of it, when I went to visit my mom in CA a few months ago.  I happened to notice there was an APRICOT flavor!?!?  Whhaaattt!  So, of course, I had to try it and it is a good one.

    I check for it occasionally, but have never seen it in my area.  According to the Amazon reviews, it is a rarer flavor that is not carried in a lot of areas.

    My other faves, that I can get in my local store, are the Coconut and the Peach-Pear.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    charlotte989875
  • mrsconn23 said:


    Not in a passive-aggressive way.  Just in a "I don't want to accidentally take the Apricot Le Croix that has to be specially ordered from Amazon."  Because it frickin' does.  Because it's not carried in my area and that is an IRL example, lol.  

    OH NO.  That IS tragic.  Apricot is so good. 

    I was already familiar with La Croix and a fan of it, when I went to visit my mom in CA a few months ago.  I happened to notice there was an APRICOT flavor!?!?  Whhaaattt!  So, of course, I had to try it and it is a good one.

    I check for it occasionally, but have never seen it in my area.  According to the Amazon reviews, it is a rarer flavor that is not carried in a lot of areas.

    My other faves, that I can get in my local store, are the Coconut and the Peach-Pear.

    Note to self, try Apricot LaCroix.  Grapefruit and whatever the eff Pampoussle is are my faves.
    short+sassy
  • mrsmitten said:
    mrsconn23 said:


    Not in a passive-aggressive way.  Just in a "I don't want to accidentally take the Apricot Le Croix that has to be specially ordered from Amazon."  Because it frickin' does.  Because it's not carried in my area and that is an IRL example, lol.  

    OH NO.  That IS tragic.  Apricot is so good. 

    I was already familiar with La Croix and a fan of it, when I went to visit my mom in CA a few months ago.  I happened to notice there was an APRICOT flavor!?!?  Whhaaattt!  So, of course, I had to try it and it is a good one.

    I check for it occasionally, but have never seen it in my area.  According to the Amazon reviews, it is a rarer flavor that is not carried in a lot of areas.

    My other faves, that I can get in my local store, are the Coconut and the Peach-Pear.

    Note to self, try Apricot LaCroix.  Grapefruit and whatever the eff Pampoussle is are my faves.
    I like Passionfruit and Cranberry-whatever the best.  Ice Mountain's Pomegranate Lemonade water is DH's favorite.  
    charlotte989875short+sassy
  • Blackberry Cucumber is the best. 
    charlotte989875short+sassysparklepants41
  • Blackberry Cucumber is the best. 
    Yes. This one, the grapefruit/pampelmousse, and the peach-pear are my faves. Not the biggest fan of the coconut though. I find it tastes like I would imagine sunscreen would taste. I love the smell of it though. 
    charlotte989875
  • I'm so confused by the SIL. I'm one of those southern people who puts fancy soap in the guest bathroom, for guests. I grew up being told that the lacy towels are for guests only. 

    SIL is a bitch, but also crazy. Why would you put out fancy toiletries in the guest bathroom for any reason other than guests to use? Unless she didn't think LW was an important enough guest for these toiletries? 
    I'm guessing this. I can kind of see the logic. Like when I go to the homes of various family members, I'm not really a "guest," per se, you know? That said, the SIL was definitely out of line and shouldn't have them out if she doesn't expect people to use them. 

    My grandma has embroidered "guest towels" in the bathroom at her house. They're hung on one side of the sink and regular on the other. I use quotes because they have literally been hanging there as long as I can remember and are NEVER used by anyone.

    ernursej
  • I'm so confused by the SIL. I'm one of those southern people who puts fancy soap in the guest bathroom, for guests. I grew up being told that the lacy towels are for guests only. 

    SIL is a bitch, but also crazy. Why would you put out fancy toiletries in the guest bathroom for any reason other than guests to use? Unless she didn't think LW was an important enough guest for these toiletries? 
    I'm guessing this. I can kind of see the logic. Like when I go to the homes of various family members, I'm not really a "guest," per se, you know? That said, the SIL was definitely out of line and shouldn't have them out if she doesn't expect people to use them. 

    My grandma has embroidered "guest towels" in the bathroom at her house. They're hung on one side of the sink and regular on the other. I use quotes because they have literally been hanging there as long as I can remember and are NEVER used by anyone.
    I agree with this as well. I think the boyfriend's sister is a bit like Monica from Friends who had 7 different levels of guest towels. Boyfriend's sister definitely shouldn't have left things out that she didn't want used and really should have at least tried to provide LW with at least some kind of toiletries given that all her stuff had been lost.  
    mrsconn23charlotte989875lovesclimbingshort+sassy
  • maine7mobmaine7mob member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited November 2018
    The SIL isn't hospitable. That's the problem. I was raised to put out the nice stuff for the guests, and let the family (who live in the house) use the crappy stuff.  (Although now I buy good products for all the bathrooms because I don't have to put up with Dial soap if I don't want to!)

    Sounds like like the sister is all about the appearance of hospitality without the substance.


Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards