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Wedding Woes
mrsconn23
member
She sounds unreasonable, but I think you should talk to your BF.
in Wedding Woes
Dear Prudence,
I recently flew out to visit my boyfriend at his older sister’s house. My flight was delayed four hours, and the airline lost my luggage. By the time I got to the house, I just wanted to take a shower and get clean. The guest bathroom had a pretty arrangement of toiletries (minisoap, shampoos, etc.) and fluffy towels right by the bath. I used them without thinking, just like I borrowed a shirt and a toothbrush from my boyfriend. The next day, my boyfriend’s sister drove me back to the airport and lectured me, saying I should have asked for shampoo and conditioner from her and not used the fancy ones in the bathroom. She said she has to order them online and it was very rude of me. I felt like a 6-year-old getting lectured for having an “accident.” My boyfriend and I got back home, but this situation still bothers me. I haven’t told my boyfriend because I didn’t want to cause trouble, but we are going back to his sister’s for the holidays. Did I do something wrong here? His sister lives in the Deep South, while we live on the coast. I have never stayed at anyone’s house except for a few slumber parties as a kid.
—Good Towels
I recently flew out to visit my boyfriend at his older sister’s house. My flight was delayed four hours, and the airline lost my luggage. By the time I got to the house, I just wanted to take a shower and get clean. The guest bathroom had a pretty arrangement of toiletries (minisoap, shampoos, etc.) and fluffy towels right by the bath. I used them without thinking, just like I borrowed a shirt and a toothbrush from my boyfriend. The next day, my boyfriend’s sister drove me back to the airport and lectured me, saying I should have asked for shampoo and conditioner from her and not used the fancy ones in the bathroom. She said she has to order them online and it was very rude of me. I felt like a 6-year-old getting lectured for having an “accident.” My boyfriend and I got back home, but this situation still bothers me. I haven’t told my boyfriend because I didn’t want to cause trouble, but we are going back to his sister’s for the holidays. Did I do something wrong here? His sister lives in the Deep South, while we live on the coast. I have never stayed at anyone’s house except for a few slumber parties as a kid.
—Good Towels
Re: She sounds unreasonable, but I think you should talk to your BF.
Or, she could do what so many other people seem to think they can do and demand that the sister stock her preferred brands and just use whatever she wants.
Also, this is one of like 4,000 reasons why I get anxiety staying at someone's house. WHAT TOWELS DO I USE?! WHERE DO I DRY MY FACE? WHY ISN'T THERE ANY REGULAR SOAP?!
If you don't want people touching your stuff in the bathroom them tell them what is and isn't for use.
It would really depend on my relationship with how I'd handle the next steps, "Hey sis - I'm about to get something to drink. Is the Sunny D off limits? Can I use the big girl glass?"
Or just make the broad announcement, "I'm feeling thirsty. Is there any beverage in the fridge that you'd prefer I not consume?"
Then in private tell the BF that you apologize for stepping on toes, it won't happen again but if you get lectured again you're going to be less likely to be silent."
SIL is a bitch, but also crazy. Why would you put out fancy toiletries in the guest bathroom for any reason other than guests to use? Unless she didn't think LW was an important enough guest for these toiletries?
I remember my mom having some decorative holiday soaps and those tiny useless decorative towels when we were kids that we couldn't use, but I thought most of that had gone out of style since the 1990s.
I'm with PP who said tell the boyfriend and his reaction would be telling.
Wowzers. I can't believe how rude and unwelcoming the b/f's sister was! Over toiletries, of all things. And here the poor LW thinks she may have done something wrong or unintentionally rude.
No, LW. This isn't something regional or something you didn't understand about a guest bathroom. Your b/f's sister is just a drama-llama who apparently uses toiletries as part of her décor (I guess?).
Since they are about to have an upcoming trip to the sister's, I'd mention the incident to him. Not so much as to complain about his sister, but more to find out if she has any other "eccentricities/pet peeves" that I should steer away from. And I probably would walk on eggshells a little bit and ask more questions before I took something out of the fridge/pantry/other.
Not in a passive-aggressive way. Just in a "I don't want to accidentally take the Apricot Le Croix that has to be specially ordered from Amazon." Because it frickin' does. Because it's not carried in my area and that is an IRL example, lol.
I was already familiar with La Croix and a fan of it, when I went to visit my mom in CA a few months ago. I happened to notice there was an APRICOT flavor!?!? Whhaaattt! So, of course, I had to try it and it is a good one.
I check for it occasionally, but have never seen it in my area. According to the Amazon reviews, it is a rarer flavor that is not carried in a lot of areas.
My other faves, that I can get in my local store, are the Coconut and the Peach-Pear.
My grandma has embroidered "guest towels" in the bathroom at her house. They're hung on one side of the sink and regular on the other. I use quotes because they have literally been hanging there as long as I can remember and are NEVER used by anyone.
Sounds like like the sister is all about the appearance of hospitality without the substance.