My FSIL is having her aunt officiate her wedding, but her aunt is not ordained. Their plan is to either the night before the wedding to go to an officiant’s office and have them conduct the legal ceremony and date the marriage licence for the next day, or they’re going to sneak off after the ceremony with the aunt to an officiant waiting in the wings to do the legal marriage and sign the papers while guests go to cocktail hour. So us immediate family know of this plan because FSIL had to share it with us because we questioned about whether the aunt was ordained or going to become ordained, but FSIL plans to not tell the other guests about this and hope that they assume the aunt is ordained and is legally marrying them. This to me just doesn’t sit totally right because she’s lying to her guests and they’re not actually witnessing the legal marriage ceremony but are being led to think that they are. Am I right to feel like this and like the wedding is a bit of a PPD or is it really not an etiquette blunder at all?
Also, this same FSIL is planning her own shower in that she’s making all the decisions about things like picking out venue, food, decorations etc. because she’s a control freak, but her mother is paying for everything and is labelled as hosting it. Is this frowned upon in terms of etiquette that she’s planning it all herself and is just having someone else foot the bill?