Walking down the aisle by myself

knottief341b79ce3239134 · December 2018

Hello all,

I was wondering if any of you past brides out there have walked down the aisle alone due to the death of a dad or parent, and if you regretted it after. I lost my dad about 6 years ago. My grandfather is supposed to walk me down the aisle this coming July, which I was very excited about, but his health has declined significantly over the last couple of months and there isn't any hope for recovery, it's just kind of a waiting game at this point. He is in a lot of pain and discomfort so as much as I want him to be the one to walk me down the aisle, I would at least be thankful that he is no longer in pain. Unfortunately, I feel like the only person who I feel comfortable walking down with in place of my dad is my grandfather, and I just can't imagine walking down with anyone else. God willing, my grandfather will somehow make it to the wedding, but I feel like I need to prepare myself emotionally if I need to walk down alone. My biggest fear is that I will get sad walking alone, but at the same time I don't want to walk down with someone who I feel shouldn't be in my dad's spot. Anyone been in a similar situation?

short+sassy · December 2018

Not quite the same situation, but my father passed away fairly young (49), which was years before I got married.

I was actually planning to walk down the aisle alone. I saw it more as a nod to the independent woman that I am (not even remotely implying that women who are walked down by a loved one are not). A lot of brides choose to walk down the aisle alone.

However, my mom just assumed she'd be walking me down the aisle. I was fine with that also. Not a hill I was going to die on. So I just went along with it and never mentioned I'd originally pictured something different, lol.

I hope your grandfather's health improves and he is able to walk you down the aisle. But, if not, your instincts are exactly right. Don't chose someone just because you're worried about walking down alone.

Be prepared and ready to do that. It might help to adjust your thinking on it. Right now, you are viewing walking down alone as a sadness/reminder that your father has passed and your grandfather cannot. Instead, view it as you walking toward your future...taking those last steps...to join your soulmate as the two of you start your lives together.

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Some more general advice. You will have moments on your wedding day where you'll feel a sense of loss that your dad should be there and he isn't. At least not physically. I handled that by reminding myself that he was with me spiritually. That he was looking down and joyful to see me looking so happy and all his loved ones gathered together.

Even if you don't believe in a higher being or that there is something beyond our earthy lives, your dad's love and his spirit live within you. His guidance and your memories with him have helped to mold you into the woman you are today. There will always be a piece of him with you.

knottief341b79ce3239134 · December 2018

Thank you so much for taking the time to give me some advice it means a lot to me. You are so right about viewing the walk as a walk towards my future and not a reminder of my dad. I haven't ever thought to look at it that way, that will really help me if I decide to walk alone.

ShesSoCold · December 2018

I am sorry for your loss.

There is nothing wrong with walking alone. Actually, one of the only regrets I have about my wedding is NOT walking alone. I've never been close with my dad and I wanted to walk alone (since I knew my mom didn't want just her to walk me down). I let family members pressure me into having Dad walk me down and it didn't feel right.

I love S&S thoughts about looking at it differently.

Walking down the aisle by myself

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