Dear Prudence,
I love my girlfriend and her generous heart, but we are having a big disagreement. She comes from a tiny, rural community, while I grew up here in our city with a huge homeless problem. Donating cash to beggars doesn’t help them—it only makes you a target. It doesn’t help that we are both tiny little lesbians. I have been stalked and cursed by street people in college. I know several people who were robbed. My girlfriend doesn’t get it. Every time she smiles and opens up her purse to give up a dollar, she is flashing a sign that says “fresh meat.” Especially at night! We do donate to several local causes and give money to the food bank. I am happy to go volunteer with her at a shelter or hand out blankets and socks with an organization. My girlfriend tells me I have a compassion problem. We don’t have a car and depend on public transportation to get to work. I am very worried something might happen to her. What can I do here?
—Close the Charity