Dear Prudence,
I was an “extremely gifted child” growing up, with the emphasis on “gifted” rather than “child.” My mother pulled me out of school and set me up with personal tutors. Mathematical mistakes were sins. Wanting to go outside and play was sacrilegious. At 17, I sneaked out after curfew to go bowling with my crush and his friends. My mother called the cops and threatened his parents with a lawyer if he ever came near me again. I cut ties with her in college. I failed to finish, failed to prove my “worth to mankind,” and told her to burn in hell. I got married, and my mother called to say she wished she hadn’t “invested” so much in me.
I have a good marriage, two lovely boys, and went back to school for my master’s degree. My younger son has demonstrated considerable intelligence. His school is talking about skipping grades or taking extra classes. I have been having nightmares about my own childhood. I am paralyzed. My husband argues that we owe our son the best chance possible. I don’t know how to do that.
—Gifted, Troubled, and Anxious