I recently went on three dates with a woman. The first two went fairly well, and after the second she texted me, saying she’d wanted to kiss me but didn’t have a read on me. I told her I’d like to go slow. After the third date, I felt sure I was not attracted to her after she claimed that the moon landing never happened. But I felt disappointed that I didn’t feel any attraction at all, even before she dropped that bomb. Is there something wrong with me if I’ve never wanted to kiss on a third date? For the record, I’m a woman who used to date men. But this is how it always went with them, too. I don’t like online dating, and for me attraction tends to emerge after being around a person for a while, but is that creepy? It seems like you just have to either immediately be attracted or you don’t get to be. And I have work and monthly social groups, and I’m new in this area. So I don’t know how I’d do it otherwise. I’m so confused! Why do all these online dates make me want to run away as soon as the idea of kissing (or more) seems imminent? Should I just accept being alone forever? It’s been over 10 years since I was actually involved with anyone, and I’m only 31!
—Waiting for Attraction to Kick In