Some family members are asking why our wedding is in Louisana. Am I wrong for making them travel

Re: Some family members are asking why our wedding is in Louisana. Am I wrong for making them travel

• banana468 member

  

  March 2019

  You have to go with what works.   And if you are financing the event on your own that often means working locally.
  
  But when you do that it comes with the understanding that not everyone can make it.
  
  When BIL got married he and SIL were married in SIL's hometown which was a solid 8-12 hour ride for most of his family.   People didn't complain but many didn't attend.   This could wind up being the case for you.
   

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• kahluakoala member

  

  March 2019

  Agreed - my fiance grew up near a major city that is extremely easy to travel to. I grew up in a more rural area that's over an hour from any major airports, we have a lot of travelling guests no matter where we have the wedding (grew up 1 place, went to college another place, grad school a 3rd place, met in a 4th place, currently live in a 5th place - so, our people are spread). We decided to have it near my fiance's hometown for a few reasons:
  - Ease of travel, including for us
  - It's a city we really love
  - Fiances family is paying
  
  Some people who live far aren't coming, but no one really complained (either to us, to our parents, or that we've heard of). Everyone "got" our choice but not everyone could make it work.

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• charlotte989875 member

  

  March 2019

  shun_bo_2019 said:

  My Fiance is From Shreveport, but we both live in Houston. Some of my family including my mom was not happy with our decision but it makes more sense financially. Now I am starting to second guess my decision.

  My H is from Pittsburgh, my family is north of Buffalo, we went to school in Buffalo, but we were living in NC when we got married. We got married in Buffalo because it was the least amount of traveling for most our guests + cheaper, but it meant his entire extended family had to travel. And most of them did (only about 3 hour drive). When his sister got married in NH a year later many people didn’t make the trip. 
  
  I think you have to do what works best for the two of you, while still thinking about your guests. But also know that some people may not be able or willing to make the trip for an out of town wedding. That’s disappointing but neither you nor they are doing anything wrong. 

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  March 2019

  shun_bo_2019 said:

  My Fiance is From Shreveport, but we both live in Houston. Some of my family including my mom was not happy with our decision but it makes more sense financially. Now I am starting to second guess my decision.

  You can get married anywhere you like. You do have to be realistic that travel is difficult for some, and it means some people won't be able to make the trip. It's 2019, and the days where couples and their families are all local are gone. Most weddings mean someone is going to have to travel. It's just about what makes the most sense for everyone. 
  
  Normally, I would suggest talking to your VIPs (parents, siblings, etc) about a date and location before locking anything in. Is your mother just complaining to complain, or is there a reason that travel is a hardship for her? If it's the former, I'd respond with some tough love. If it's the latter, I'd work with her to try to make accommodations so that it's less of a burden on her.
  
  To anyone beyond VIP, I would start saying "we're sorry to hear you won't be able to make it, but we understand. We'll catch up after the wedding." You don't have to explain and rationalize your thought process to anyone. And really, trying to get them to understand is just making you apologize for a decision that isn't wrong.  

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• MobKaz member

  

  March 2019

  If your mom is older and/or more traditional, she may have just assumed the wedding would occur in the hometown of the bride.   At first glance, and without any additional information, it does seem odd to not hold a wedding in the town in which the two of you currently reside. Perhaps your decision simply came as a surprise to her, and she will adjust her thinking with time.
  
  
  
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  March 2019

  There are no rules that weddings have to take place in any particular geographic location other than religious rules about whether weddings held in unapproved locations will be recognized by those religions, such as Catholic weddings having to be in Catholic churches. But if too many guests can't attend a wedding outside their local areas, rethinking the location doesn't hurt.
  
  That said, it might be surprising to people that you're not getting married in Houston, but it's your choice. You don't need to move your wedding. 

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• short+sassy member

  

  March 2019

  I think it sounds like you and your FI made a great decision in the location.  It's (I'm assuming) cheaper and where your FI's family lives.

  I could understand some guests being surprised it's not in Houston, since that is where the two of you currently live.  But no one should be giving you all flack about the decision and I'm sorry that is happening, especially from your own mom.  But you have nothing to apologize for.  After all, the other option would be that your FI's family has to travel.  So, guest-wise travel convenience, choosing Shreveport over Houston is a "wash" anyway.
  

  

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• zitiqueen member

  

  May 2019

  MobKaz said:

  If your mom is older and/or more traditional's Knottie name is KristenNumbers she may have just assumed the wedding would occur in the hometown of the bride.   At first glance, and without any additional information, it does seem odd to not hold a wedding in the town in which the two of you currently reside. Perhaps your decision simply came as a surprise to her, and she will adjust her thinking with time.
  
  
  
  

  FTFY! Does anybody else remember her? 

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