Dear Prudence,
My wife has sworn off sex since our son was born. (He is 3½ now.) She refused to discuss the matter after we went to see a doctor. Her words: “I am not broken.” I love her. I love our son. I love our life. I don’t want to cheat, but I have a sex drive, and kisses and cuddles are not enough. So, I look at porn and masturbate sometimes. I forgot to lock the door once, and my wife walked in. She was disgusted and described me like I was a sexual deviant. She wanted me to never look at porn again, and I asked her if she wanted a divorce, which made her look at me like I had just slapped her. I told her I love her and our son, but I didn’t sign up for celibacy when we got married. She started to cry and fell over apologizing, but the issue is still there. I am banging my head against a wall here. She doesn’t want to go to counseling again. I am happy with my life 90 percent of the time, but I know that the 10 percent that holds sex is going to break up my marriage. What are my options here?
—Porn Breaking Point