Dear Prudence,
My wife and I have been married for 10 years. We have 5-year-old twins that she carried. The idea was she would carry one pregnancy, and I would carry the next with the same sperm donor. My wife keeps bringing up that it is my “turn” next. I am older than her, and I know we need to do this now if we are going to do it. I’ve realized I don’t want to. I don’t want to give up my place in my career. I am glad to be out of the diapers stage, and we’re finally able to travel and enjoy our lives again. Having the twins was rough on my wife. She became clinically depressed twice and had to be hospitalized once. I had to quit my job in order to take care of her and the babies. We burned through a lot of our savings. We got stronger as a family for it, but I can’t put my wife through that again. She has always wanted a big family. I am fine with our size now but am open to adoption. I don’t want to break our promise, but I can’t see how giving up the good life we have is worth it. What do I do? How do I tell her?
—Not Ready for Round Two