Dear Prudence,
My husband and I have become friendly with another couple, “Nadine” and “Jason.” Their kids are of similar ages (under 5), and we have a lot in common. Nadine and I see each other semiregularly, and I find her warm and friendly, if a bit naïve. Jason is also nice but has been incredibly flirty with me the past few times we’ve met, both in front of our partners and when they’re out of earshot, which has led me to believe they’re in an open relationship. He even took my husband aside one night and said, “Hey, dude, let me know if I cross the line with your wife,” to which my husband said, “She’ll let you know if you do.” Nonmonogamy is not what my husband and I are into right now, and definitely not with them. So far I’ve either deflected his flirtations or just walked away, which hasn’t really deterred his borderline sexual jokes and prolonged eye contact. If this were in a vacuum, I’d say something like, “Friend, I’m picking up some vibes from you that I don’t reciprocate” and leave it at that, but that seems too fraught at this time (he’d probably act stupefied and might even throw me under the bus with his wife). As it is, I’m not sure what to do—continue to make plans just with her? Try to find new friends? Say something to one or both of them? I should also mention he’s a beloved local politician in our small Midwestern town, and our paths will likely continue to cross professionally and in the community.
—Not Picking Up What He’s Putting Down