Hey everyone - my FSIL is my MOH and she and FMIL are insisting that for getting ready before the wedding that we need to invite my FH’s grandmother, godmother, and a friend of FMIL along as well. I’ve nevet met any of them and they don’t speak English. I only wanted my mom/sisters and the bridal party and FMIL there. I don’t want people I don’t know and my family can’t communicate with. Am I being unfair? Thanks everyone.
Re: Getting Ready Day Of - Am I wrong or FMIL wrong?
Is this cultural? Could you throw a compromise out and meet them after for photos or a pre wedding toast?
I'd probably not openly disagree with your FSIL or FMIL on this, but not invite them to join you for the actual getting ready if you feel that their presence would be intrusive and/or overly demanding. The "bean dip" technique, in which you respond by changing the subject, would be appropriate here:
ILs: We have to be with you when you get ready.
You: This bean dip is really good. Would you like some?
ILs: Let us know when and where you're getting ready so we can tell everyone.
You: Have some more chips, they go really well with this bean dip.
Etc.,etc., until they give up. If they're so dense that they keep at it even then, you may have to say, "No. I do not "owe" anyone the "right" to see me when I an in a state of undress and a nervous, tense mood. It is not a party or bonding time with family and friends. Please consider this a closed subject." If it gets to that point, I'd have someone on hand who can act as a gatekeeper at your actual "getting ready" to keep them away from you.
Could you all just get mani/pedis together the day before? Bring some wine and cheese and make a nice few hours of it?